• Welcome to Autism Forums, a friendly forum to discuss Aspergers Syndrome, Autism, High Functioning Autism and related conditions.

    Your voice is missing! You will need to register to get access to the following site features:
    • Reply to discussions and create your own threads.
    • Our modern chat room. No add-ons or extensions required, just login and start chatting!
    • Private Member only forums for more serious discussions that you may wish to not have guests or search engines access to.
    • Your very own blog. Write about anything you like on your own individual blog.

    We hope to see you as a part of our community soon! Please also check us out @ https://www.twitter.com/aspiescentral

Could use some advice

L

lnr333

New Member
I'm still trying to recover from my last social encounter I had today while out. She was asking me questions about what I was getting and I guess the noise levels were affecting my ability to hear properly and I just completely stumbled over myself and I could see that she thought there was something very wrong with me. I sounded completely nuts.

I know her from my school and my business, and I feel like I should reach out and say "sorry" for being super awkward. Might be too late for that now, but I feel like nearly every time I go out and talk to someone I damage my image and my business is going to fail because of it. I'm still waiting on my counseling appointment to help me, to even see if I have aspergers at all. Do you have any tips at all to help me not be so embarrassing?
 
I tend to make light of situations like that & maybe employ a little self deprecation..

"Sorry I seem to be being a bit deaf today"
"Is it just me or is it really loud in here?"
 
Autistamatic said:
I tend to make light of situations like that & maybe employ a little self deprecation..

"Sorry I seem to be being a bit deaf today"
"Is it just me or is it really loud in here?"
Click to expand...

I do remember now apologizing and saying "sorry, my brain is just crap today"...and then going on to make even more mistakes :oops:
 
As long as you don't act mean or rude to the person, I don't think you should over worry. As far as business goes it is likely to depend more on the quality of the service you provide.
 
My husband has some hearing damage, and I hear him just casually mention to people that he can't hear well when there's too much background noise. You could mention something like that, which is the literal truth if not the entire truth, just to explain. Most people aren't going to understand sensory overload, but everyone understands about hearing problems.

But like Tom says, business associates care more about the quality of the work. If you're that slightly awkward young woman who does amazing work, they probably don't care too much about the awkward part.

My husband simply exudes confidence, even when he's wrong. :p It drives me nuts. I've seen people accept his answer over my CORRECT answer before based simply on how we present ourselves. And I've gotten much better about that over time, but all bets are off when I'm out in public and the noise and lights start getting to me.
 
I've heard numerous people tell me they've heard I do great work, and maybe it's a bit more expected in my field (massage), but being in a small town it worries me regardless. I didn't have time to really process much until I got in my car. When I was typing earlier is when I realized the noise in the building had a lot to do with it. Thanks for the replies, all. I've started to feel a bit better. :)
 
I think making a little joke about it is the best way to deal with this. I usually say something like "Come on, brain!!!!"
 
If you're not good with jokes, that's okay.
It is a good suggestion, and if you think of it, great.
Sometimes, if those things are not said in the moment, it will sound awkward.

I would recommend flat out honesty as short but as feasible as you can.
Say, in an email or 1-1 communication in-person.
In-person is always the best if that is an option for you.
I don't think there is a time that would be "too late" for this kind of explanation.
Setting, timing, and context are more factors though.

Don't say anything more until you are as ready for potential rejection of any kind.
No matter how good your explanations can be, no matter how well you can level with a person, etc. they could still reject your friendship or more anyway. It's not necessarily going to be your fault or anyone's fault per se either. Just have a backup plan of how to move on if you need to, so that you don't get too focused on a rejection if it does happen. That's what helps me move on.

Those people that are truly good can accept such honesty.
This is another option you can consider, and this may fit your personality and thinking better.
 
Them asking where are you from live, what do you do for a living? I don't like its like when people socialize with me it is like going on a job interview and the eye contact which I maintain does not help.
 
Looking at this again, if you haven't already, I would simply apologize to her casually about the conversation during that time and tell her that "you had a hard time hearing her and are particularly unusually sensitive to loud noises and/or crowds. You don't have to explain to her why you are particularly so sensitive to that. If she asks why, then you can either disclose if you feel comfortable enough or just tell her there are personal reasons which you don't wish to discuss.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

New Threads

Top Bottom