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But You Don't Look Autistic At All 2021-07-03

A fresh take on life on the spectrum

  1. VictorR

    VictorR Random Member V.I.P Member

    Jul 19, 2020
    VictorR submitted a new resource:

    But You Don't Look Autistic At All - A fresh take on life on the spectrum

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  2. VictorR

    VictorR Random Member V.I.P Member

    Jul 19, 2020
    Chapter List:

    Intro: Invisibly Different

    1. An Alien in Tokyo
    Circus horse
    Autism according to the DSM-5
    The Theory of Mind
    A double empathy problem
    The Intense World Theory

    2. The DSM and I
    Social Stuff
    Behaviour and Overstimulation
    Echo! Echo!
    Rituals and patterns
    Trains vs. ponies
    Executive functions
    Masking and the autistic burn-out
    Significant Limitations
    It’s not secretly something else

    3. Let’s get Chronological
    The Pink Tower and my parent’s divorce
    From first grade to Disneyland
    Toeps the accountant
    The eating disorder era
    Take two
    A conversation with my father
    Toeps the fashion photographer

    4. The Diagnosis
    Out of a cereal box
    The questionable history of Dr. Asperger
    After the diagnosis
    Danielle’s story: a late diagnosis
    Sander’s story: looking for help
    Ups and downs

    5. Boundaries and Limitations
    Melissa’s story: Concrete jungle where dreams are made of
    Pushing boundaries
    Plans versus options
    Stomach aches
    According to the norm
    About coaching

    6. Nothing About Us, Without Us
    Autism mums
    Zjos’ story: The Perks of Having A Dead Brother
    Christina’s story: growing up in the spotlight

    7. Eight Things We Don’t Want to Hear Anymore

    But you don’t look autistic at all!
    Are you sure you’re not an indigo child?
    Didn’t your mother love you enough?
    I always colour coordinate the shifts in my closet, I’m so autistic!
    Everybody wants a label nowadays
    I don’t believe in labels, you’re just you!
    You’re not autistic, you have au-tis-m
    It’s probably because of the vaccinations

    Epilogue: Pick Your Battles
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  3. VictorR

    VictorR Random Member V.I.P Member

    Jul 19, 2020
    After three recent reviews of books written by young autistic Canadians who grew up with a diagnosis, I’ve decided for review #21 to change things up a bit. This time, it’s returning to the books which I started with – memoirs from women on the spectrum who received their diagnosis as adults.

    The majority of books on the spectrum come from Britain, the United States, and Australia, and so I was excited to see that this book was from a Dutch author, and in fact was originally published in Dutch.

    What’s even more interesting is that she splits her time between the Netherlands and Japan, and this is something that Dr. Attwood refers to – that autistic may find it easier to live in a foreign country / culture where their differences may be better accepted as they are attributed to cultural differences rather than simply being innately different.

    And so Bianca starts off with a cold opening (for which she created a short video on her kickstarter But You Don't Look Autistic At All last year for this English translation.

    Touching on delicate topics like eating disorders and family/relationship concerns, while also introducing snippets of stories from other autistics whom she interviewed, with frank take-no-prisioners opinions (she’s pro Intense World Theory and anti Theory of Mind), this truly is a refreshing look at autism.

    Bianca speaks with confidence and humour, a combination not frequently seen, and I had a pretty good balance of “oh no!” and “lol” reactions when reading this book.

    I also learned some interesting tidbits of random information.

    Something that makes this book a fair bit different from earlier adult-diagnosed spectrum women books, like those written by Liane Holliday-Wiley, Samantha Craft, Cynthia Kim, and Jennifer Cook O’Toole, is that she’s not (or at least she didn’t identify as) a mom. As many of us are aware, a common way that many autistic women come to be diagnosed is when their children get a diagnosis, and in researching how to support their kids, they realize that they’re on the spectrum. As such, this book is a nice complement to those earlier books. It's also the first one I've seen directly reference #ActuallyAutistic.

    Rating: 5.5/5.0

    Note: I’m an pretty easygoing person and admittedly, I give out a lot of high scores and likes (on this forum, I think I give out three times as many likes as I get). Each person gives ratings a different way. For me, I look at the writing itself, if the book contributes something new, including different perspectives, and style/originality. I also usually start with a 5.0 by default and you kind of have to frustrate me or bore me to get points knocked off. But that means I’m not really rewarding those who go above and beyond. With this book, and going forward, I am also introducing in my reviews a “5.5” score for books which I feel are truly outstanding and which I would recommend in general, without hesitation. Basically, the books which are 110%.
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  4. 1ForAll

    1ForAll Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

    Apr 14, 2021
    I enjoy reading your reviews! Great job summing things up in a clear, organized and concise way!
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  5. rach3rd

    rach3rd Active Member

    Sep 9, 2021
    Thank you for the review…I just got the book, can’t wait to read it.
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