BULLIED BY TEENAGE GIRL AT WORK

[the_tortoise]

Well, like my partner told me, if they are making trouble for me, they are most likely making trouble for some one else, so just let those other people deal with them and for me to not worry about it anymore.

Gotta be careful with that one.....far too often, everyone affected leaves it for others to deal with, so it never actually gets dealt with.

 

[MysticEmber]

Gotta be careful with that one.....far too often, everyone affected leaves it for others to deal with, so it never actually gets dealt with.

that had also crossed my mind, but am i the one to deal with it? i dont think so. now if I see abuse towards others. I always report it.

 

[syntheticnatural]

I've worked in a lot of food service, and these types of situations are fairly common. Standard professionalism is very different in restaurant work because it's so fast paced, hot, and frustrating. But this girl sounds like a spoiled piece of work.

Next time she rudely gives you some command, you could do what my aunt does when her 6 year old is throwing a tantrum and respond with "Well, that's not a very nice way to ask!" And wait expectantly for a nicer request. If she throws more attitude, just shrug and tell her that this is a place of work, and you expect her to act as such. Keep the focus on her behavior, and don't get roped into defending anything about yourself.

Alternatively, since she's talking to you like she has some authority over you, just respond cheerfully with "Yes, Mother!" She'll give you a wtf? look, and you can say that her attitude reminds you of Mrs Bates, so "Mother" it is! She's probably too young to get the reference, so if she asks who Mrs Bates is, just tell her to Google Bates motel. And then continue to call her Mom or Mother until she starts behaving herself.

I haven't found managers to be much help in these types of situations, unfortunately. But I have spent a LOT of time seeing this kind of thing unfold and am pretty good at disarming difficult people.

 

[jacinto]

I've worked in a lot of food service, and these types of situations are fairly common. Standard professionalism is very different in restaurant work because it's so fast paced, hot, and frustrating. But this girl sounds like a spoiled piece of work.

Next time she rudely gives you some command, you could do what my aunt does when her 6 year old is throwing a tantrum and respond with "Well, that's not a very nice way to ask!" And wait expectantly for a nicer request. If she throws more attitude, just shrug and tell her that this is a place of work, and you expect her to act as such. Keep the focus on her behavior, and don't get roped into defending anything about yourself.

Alternatively, since she's talking to you like she has some authority over you, just respond cheerfully with "Yes, Mother!" She'll give you a wtf? look, and you can say that her attitude reminds you of Mrs Bates, so "Mother" it is! She's probably too young to get the reference, so if she asks who Mrs Bates is, just tell her to Google Bates motel. And then continue to call her Mom or Mother until she starts behaving herself.

I haven't found managers to be much help in these types of situations, unfortunately. But I have spent a LOT of time seeing this kind of thing unfold and am pretty good at disarming difficult people.

lol that's good stuff. Thanks, I'll try that. Haven't had to work with her lately thank God.

 

[Kathos]

I'm so sorry you have to put up with this toxic human being. I was a lot like you when I was younger, I was terrified by people like this and I think it was my Aspergers and my naiveté, I just couldn't understand why anyone would intentionally create animosity and conflict for no good reason. So I had no defense because anytime this happened I felt blind sided, embarassed, and completely and utterly confused. The situation would escalate on account of my non-responsiveness.

So I learned over the years, and after working at some wonderful companies with some A+ people, that only losers behave like that teenage girl. The most successful and well respected people I've met are kind, respectful, inclusive and learn ways to make you feel good about yourself even when you make mistakes, to inspire and motivate you to be your best. As a result, I've developed an extremely low tolerance and disrespect for people who behave rudely and immaturely like your coworker. It sounds to me like she has no self-control, makes poor choices and cannot manage her stress. She's going no where fast if she doesn't change her ways.

Karma has a way of catching up to people like this so I don't even think you need to do anything. I wouldn't give this girl any space in your head, she's just isn't worth it and you are so much better than her. Try to look at the big picture instead and focus on yourself and your work, on how you want to improve yourself, of the wonderful things you have accomplished and your future goals and realize that she is just noise, a very negative noise that you must block out. Don't get caught up in her negativity. Be professional. Give her the respect she is due because you are a mature adult and you work together and leave it at that.

And finally, I don't think you did anything wrong so I don't see any reason to apologize to her. If anything, she was incredibly rude and inappropriate and I think owes you a massive apology.