Boy development issues with my son, advice please..

[ladydragon]

So my son and I both have Asperger's. I can understand what he is going through a lot of the time. However when it comes to the boy things I (being the mom, without a male role model around) have a hard time helping him to not feel anxious about stuff that he hasn't had happen yet, but being 11 and in 6th grade he knows it is coming.

A couple of our big issues right now he is having difficulty with is anxiety over what a wet dream is, and no matter how much I tell him it is a natural thing that will happen and to not worry about it, he still is scared and worried about it being like peeing the bed and he is worried that he will wake up in a puddle of wet stuff.

Also another issue that we are dealing with is he is having anxiety about feeling something he doesn't understand and he thinks he has to pee all the time and he sits on the potty for nearly 45 minutes yesterday. I tried to explain to him the "tingles(his wording)" he is feeling probably is not about needing to pee. I got him some books on boy body development to help him understand some of what is happening, but he is a math minded Aspie and finds reading boring, unless it is strictly about something he is interested in.

I don't know how to help him to relax about what is happening with his body. He has even gone as far as to say he doesn't want to grow up and he gets angry about his body feelings that he doesn't understand. And his anxiety causes me to feel worried and anxiety for him also. I have gotten him therapists to talk to about these things as well. I am not sure they are helping much, because he is still anxious about these things.

I guess I am just looking for words of advice from parents who have had boys and from the male perspective of other Aspies who had similar anxieties at the tween-teen age.

Thank you

 

[AsheSkyler]

Erm, well, it's my understanding it won't be a big puddle. Comparatively to wetting the bed, anyway. Since he's a math Aspie, would a chart be good for him? This site is pretty technical about the basic stuff, although since there are some female overviews too so I guess you might want to moderate that. This site also has some good overviews, and if it's right, he doesn't have to worry about the night problem until he's 14. Of course, every kid is different and grows at different rates, but you might can give him comfort with that. I tried doing a search on the bathroom issue, but the most I can find is suggestions of infection or diabetes. Not helpful.

I haven't the slightest advice about the anxiety. I was pretty resentful too about my body turning traitor on me, and after thirteen years I still haven't accepted it.

 

[ladydragon]

Thank you for replying to my post.

I took him to the doctor on Tuesday, because I can trick him into being less anxious sometimes just from taking him to the doctor and having the doctor tell him he is fine and there is nothing to worry about. I have read that the age range is more like between 9-15 years old. So it could happen tomorrow to him or hopefully not for a few years. And given his development history(which I actually told him already) it probably won't happen to him until he is around 15.

 

[AsheSkyler]

I hope for his sake it is delayed. That doesn't sound like a fun thing to wake up to. And I hope the doctor trick works for him. =)

Once you get into the middle of it, sometimes it's not as bad as you dreaded it. Doesn't make it any less unpleasant, but I hope he'll end up being more relieved once his hormones are in full swing.

 

[Rayner]

Ok being a male age 17 I maybe can shed some light on the insecurity about why he is anxious about it. The best way I can think to describe it Modestly. Both males and females hormones cause things to occur that effect there reproductive system and their associated body parts. Girls have it far worse than guys do when it comes to thing. No it's not a big puddle, it's happens in most males around 12-14 yes it's possible at nine, but very unlikely. Not to be rude to any woman, but how many women have their first period when they are nine, it's basically the same idea. Did any of that make sense?

I hope for his sake it is delayed. That doesn't sound like a fun thing to wake up to. And I hope the doctor trick works for him. =)

Once you get into the middle of it, sometimes it's not as bad as you dreaded it. Doesn't make it any less unpleasant, but I hope he'll end up being more relieved once his hormones are in full swing.

Thank you for replying to my post.

I took him to the doctor on Tuesday, because I can trick him into being less anxious sometimes just from taking him to the doctor and having the doctor tell him he is fine and there is nothing to worry about. I have read that the age range is more like between 9-15 years old. So it could happen tomorrow to him or hopefully not for a few years. And given his development history(which I actually told him already) it probably won't happen to him until he is around 15.