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Blog post compares us to psychopaths

It also occurred to me that, ironically, I have experienced much of what she described in my own marriage, in that I feel very much alone, as if no one understands or cares...yet I am the person with Aspergers. According to the writer of this blog, only the NT partner of someone with AS gets to feel abused or neglected in this way--not the AS partner of an NT. I am sure my husband also feels that I am cold and aloof, but because he thinks he is the more "normal" one among us his own failures to be supportive and empathetic are regarded as somehow nothing more than me misinterpreting the situation, or him not knowing how to deal with the quirks of my Aspergers. So it's perfectly fine for me to be rejected and isolated, because it's my "problem" to begin with, caused entirely by my AS.

Funny, but I always thought when you got married, "my problems" become "our problems". Maybe I was mistaken...
 
Naturalist, this thread so far has concerned someone not in the AC 'family.' However you are and this very much worries me. You are saying that these issues flow both directions, and you are experiencing it first-hand. I hope it is possible to address this dilemma with your husband.
 
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Kestral, I am in the same boat as she is, just flip flopped with myself being the Aspie husband married to a NT wife. I feel very alone most time, verbaly abused and neglected. I feel like a servant most of the time. I am the one bitched at for not snuggling or being affectionate, which I admit that I have issues doing or knowing when to do that. But I also do not recieve much from her end of the relationship either. So it can and does go both ways in a NT/Aspie relationship. There were some initial improvements right after I got my diagnosis, but it flat lined farily quickly. Mike
 
I'm reminded of the saying "when all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail". It seems that the blog exists to sell the author's books.

I feel bad that this person and others have had bad experiences in relationships, I've experienced them myself, and I don't want to minimize or deny the pain and suffering they cause. But one has to wonder how she went from dating a psychopath, then moved on to an Aspie, and who knows what other "terrible" people she has or will hook up with. Maybe she just has bad taste in partners, or is so willfully blinded by the goal of the "perfect" relationship that anything that falls short gets the scorched earth treatment. Either way, it is a bad cycle and seems a bit obsessive.

I read and scanned through some of the other posts on that blog, particularly the ones about manipulation (something that I am particularly vulnerable to) and can see that I have been a "victim" of manipulation in my own relationship. But then, the writing was relentlessly focused on showing how "bad" relationships are the fault of the other. The reason that my partner and I are trying to work it out is that we both see our own flaws and how they contribute to the disharmony in our relationship. Whether we stay together or split up, it will be with understanding and forgiveness. It is the only way forward.
 
Seems to me marriage is about give and take between two equal partners. The problems she describes has nothing to do with being aspie or not as it is obvious from her writing that she was as self centered as her partner, and many NT-NT relationships have these issues too - if not more so. Aspies tend to be loyal to a relationship to a fault.
This article highlighted for me that it isn't just aspies that have mind blindless. Both NTs and Aspies interprete each other's actions through their own preconceptions. As the values of both differ so much it is clear why NTs are so mind blind of Aspies just as Aspies are of NTs. Let's not think its only one way. It goes both ways!
 
I do not think Aspergers determines personality traits, such as empathy, love, bias, honesty, greed, etc, etc...

I suspect we are born with and develop those things as randomly as neurotypicals.

Instead, Autism seems to act as am amplifier or suppressor, taking us further in directions with thoughts, feelings, responses, then usual with NTs.

Once you realize that you address the core issue to resolve things, not the reactions/over reactions.
 
The article is disconcerting. Many people don't understand the meanings of psychopathy and sociopathy and confuse the two.
 
Butterfly88 said:
The article insults me. Maybe psychopaths wrote it. I 100% disagree with the article that it's a zero-empathy disorder. I think people with autism just have more trouble expressing empathy. In fact, new research shows people with autism may have more empathy than neurotypicals. More about that here: https://seventhvoice.wordpress.com/...-in-fact-if-anything-they-empathize-too-much/
Click to expand...

Well it isn't really a zero empathy disorder. We have full control of affective empathy. Borderline, Antisocial and Narcissistic personality disorders are the ones with affective empathy problems; if we see someone is hurt then we care, we might not know how to handle it but these are things we can learn.
 
This blog actually makes me furious because what it does is it paves the way for more bigotry and hatred towards autistics which in turn paves the way for hatred towards my children who are autistic (I am as well) and they are nothing at all like the picture she had painted of autistic people there. This childish catty ugly behavior where they immerse themselves into their own pure ignorance and hatred because of one bad experience is absolutely unacceptable. I had a horrid, nightmarish experience with my ex who is an NT but I didn't blame all NTs because, infact I have been happily married to one for nearly 10 years.

According to her rationalization she might as well hate all men to because she had one bad experience with a man or even better she should start writing off everything she had one bad experience with like maybe sleep since she once had a nightmare or breathing because the air smelled bad once. What it is.. is absolutely ridiculous irrational bigotry! She is attacking ugly behavior with even more ugly behavior just like a little child.
 
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buckyboy14 said:
I found this link on Wrong Planet and want to share it here too, because it's hideous. Is this how the average NT sees us? I don't want to live in a world that sees Aspies in this light.

http://psychopathsandlove.com/psychopathy-or-aspergers-syndrome/
Click to expand...

This is one opinion of one person. A person who I believe who has been scorned by an aspie. I got a bit annoyed reading it as aspies are not the people they portray. Basically puts us in a light "date them at your own peril" I wouldn't listen to anything the article says and focus being the best person you can. I think this is the difference between aspies and NTs, me including. They would brush this off, we take it personally.
 
What a load of rubbish. One of the most ridiculous articles I have ever read. Perhaps this woman had a relationship with an aspie that ended badly and she decided to blame people with Asperger's collectively rather than acknowledging her own mistakes in the relationship
 
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