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Thanks for the kind comments so far. It seems this topic is one close to a lot of our hearts :)

What music is playing?
It's called "White River" - an original piece by Aakash Gandhi - a Bollywood pianist. He has his own YouTube channel doing mainly covers. He's also started doing Royalty Free original pieces which is where I got the tune for this video. I think it's lovely :)

88KeysToEuphoria - Aakash Gandhi
 
My wife just asked me what a "Nerf herder" is and I found this clip. I couldn't resist posting it :)

 
Thanks for the kind comments so far. It seems this topic is one close to a lot of our hearts :)


It's called "White River" - an original piece by Aakash Gandhi - a Bollywood pianist. He has his own YouTube channel doing mainly covers. He's also started doing Royalty Free original pieces which is where I got the tune for this video. I think it's lovely :)

88KeysToEuphoria - Aakash Gandhi

THANK YOU! So do I! Usually that would distract me too much to listen, but I also really like the sound of your voice. And you've described exactly some of my experiences! Thank you!
 
As we all know, some people have assumed in the past that those with ASD are incapable of empathy, or even of feeling any emotion at all. We know this not to be true. We know from experience, because we are ourselves people with ASD, and we do feel empathy.

It is not the same thing to be incapable of empathy as it to be limited in your ability to express empathy (we have autism... hello!).

Empathy is inherently social in nature, and as a result it is far more complicated to express empathy than it is to express emotions that can be extrapolated outside of a social context. Many people with autism have a very difficult time finding ways to express their own physical pain, much less the abstract psychological pain of someone else.

The flip side to this discussion is that people don't always agree on what constitutes empathy - is it simply emotional intelligence, some people posit. That theory assumes a baseline of social awareness which people with ASD would necessarily not be able to meet.

What some mental health professionals have stated is that there are three forms of empathy - cognitive, emotional, and compassionate. People with ASD, when confronted with this information, usually conclude that they experience emotional and compassionate empathy, but struggle with cognitive empathy (the ability to know the thoughts of others through observational analysis).

Medically this could make a lot of sense, given that one the areas of the brain most effected by autism is the cerebellum.

According to researchers at the Washington University School of Medicine in 2017:

"While it is best known for its role in movement, the cerebellum is also important in higher cognitive functions such as language and attention, both of which are affected in autism. People with autism often have language delays and pay unusually intense attention to objects or topics that interest them. The cerebellum may be involved not only in motor learning but in other features of autism as well, the researchers said."

Link to the article on ScienceDaily for anyone interested:

In autism, too many brain connections may be at root of condition: Learning, social issues may reflect neuronal miscommunication
 
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When my children were at a less independent age,
I've seen blood, bones, fatty tissues hanging out (after accidents) and done all I can to prevent any shock worsening and get them medical attention, without missing a heartbeat.
They were hugged and reassured between obs'
.
On one occasion my lack of hysteria on admitting my injured child to hospital care, was noticed.
(his radius was protruding through the skin, his ulna bent rather than broke)

My focus was timely assistance to reduce his shock and investigate possible arterial damage which, in my mind, was priority over broken or bent bones.
I didn't wait around for an ambulance either. I drove the short distance. Very quickly.

On admittance, My 'losing it' and being less articulate between sobs would have wasted precious seconds. Couldn't see much point in that.
(I fell apart on my own time)

And yet,
One of my children came home with a neat, clean belly button piercing, I took one look and my knees almost gave way. I nearly fainted :)


When my grown up children had their hearts broken by unworthy suitors for the first time, that got me, right in 'the feels'

When my friend (at the time) experienced something similar - (Not her first heartbreak)
I did my best to listen but couldn't help thinking,
'this isn't your first rodeo, you should know the drill by now'

I've cared for and sat at the bedside of a much loved relative while they were dying. Love and ensuring their dignity and comfort were the emotions involved. Grief and loss came afterwards.

More recently, someone I know (in a fashion) disclosed their loved one was really, quite sick.
I got quite overwhelmed by that news and sad enough to shut down for a short time.

I'm not sure I understand empathic definitions fully but feel it anyway, in certain circumstances.
 
It was always one of those mysteries to me, this whole empathy thing. It's one of the things I've read about that made me hesitant about autism. However, on this forum, I see a tonne of empathy. So I am confused as to why it is considered a deficit.

I too strongly identify wit not being able or willing to hurt someone, even in a fist fight. I recall fights as a young person where I felt like a physical restraint was holding my hits back. I could get into the position to give as a big a hit as I could muster, but I could never bring myself to do it. The thought of hurting the person was repellent.
 

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