Aspies Elders advice

[Daniela]

I would realy like to know what do you guys would advice to the younger generation, what would you have done diferent if you could and that kind of stuff.

 

[SyAn]

I believe that young people of today have it much harder in many respects than older people, life seems to have become much more complicated and world happenings are part of our living room to an unprecedented extent.

Sure, many young people have more choices than they would have had in the past. However, there appears to be less predictability and safety.

So what is my advise? Respect others and be kind, hang out with people who respect you and are kind to you, and above all, believe in yourself, you are unique and precious

 

[Structrix]

I would say take advantage of everything that life has to offer you because the services and supports available to you as an adult are very, very few to non-existent.

 

[Judge]

Self-awareness is everything. The earlier you have been diagnosed or are aware of your neurology, the faster you can reconcile who and what you are. And attempt to learn to use it to your advantage the best you can rather than go through life for a half century thinking you're just a jerk or an oddball to most people.

Try to look at some of your traits and behaviors as assets rather than liabilities. There might just be a promising career, or a stable long-term job that suits your neurology....or even a way to become self-employed and perhaps dodge some social obstacles that make survival so complex for us.

I grew up in a world which wasn't even aware of Dr. Asperger's research let alone the challenges of autistic people in an NT world. For the most part it's too late for me to substantially change my life. However it's not too late for those of you who figure this out at a much earlier age. Take advantage of this as best you can.

 

[Willis1971]

Think about your strengths.... unite with other aspie as online support and forgive NT that they do not understand. We hardly do but we are as we are....

Do not try to become 'normal' because special is so much better and sometimes harder...

 

[wyverary]

I would spare the "You Can Do Anything If You Set Your Mind to It!" crap. The world simply doesn't work like that. I would rather tell them, "Take stock of yourself. Think about your past mistakes. Think about what you can do to navigate the world as easily as possible; and also consider your successes. Focus on your strengths, find out which you might most like to pursue, pursue it to the best of your abilities...and always have a plan B."

Yeah, sometimes I like to imagine I'm giving a graduations speech. It's common for the older generations to bemoan the younger ones. I, for one, bemoan my own generation.

I realize this is advice one could give to an NT as well, but I do think these general principles ought to apply to almost everyone.

 

[JohnH]

I have tons of advice, but since everyone's situation, strengths, and weaknesses are different, it might not make much difference.

Here goes:

#1 - Figure out how to make money. If that means having a job, then learn how to find jobs and keep them. Don't leave a good paying job until you have another one lined up. If you hate your boss, or the company does stupid things, then focus your anger / revenge in a job search. They should never know about it. Your best payback is by leaving them and taking your worthwhile contributions with you. Corollary - when leaving, don't give into the urge to finally have your say. Resignation letter should be one sentence. Exit interview should be positive and talk about your need for career advancement or seeking other opportunities.

#2 - Your diagnosis (official or self-diagnosed) is a tool for YOU to learn how you can best meet the challenges of life, so that you figure out which strategies will work and which are less likely to work for you. Only disclose if you must, to get treatment or benefits. If you are able to compete in the workplace without mentioning it, then do so. A zebra who can't run fast should not wear a sign saying "slow zebra," because lions can read.

#3 - Stay active. This includes getting regular exercise and staying in decent shape. You don't have to join a gym or buy expensive equipment. You can do pretty much everything you need to do with some decent shoes, some inexpensive dumbbell weights, the floor, and your body weight. Three benefits beyond just health: people in the workplace respect you more, your chances for romantic connections increase significantly, and exercise is an exceptional treatment for depression.

#4 - Keep busy, even with menial tasks, even if you don't feel like doing them. It helps to keep you from spending too much time in your head, and you needed to get that stuff done anyway.

I'm sure there are some others, but that's all I have right now.

 

[gregmcph]

I think others have said it. Be aware of what you are. What you can or cannot do. What comes naturally to you. And don't get too distressed at your situation. Accept who you are.

On the other hand, for me anyway, be aware that you can sink into your head and cut out the rest of the world, and that is not entirely good. Reach out a bit, though it may go against natural instincts. Keep a few humans in your life. Speak words to people.

 

[Jimbo]

Don't be afraid to try something because you are afraid you will fail. Even if you don't succeed at one thing, you will learn something. Step out on faith and take chances and be willing to at least try to do everything you can to live life to the fullest. After 45 years of being an aspie, my wife and I adopted and are raising a beautiful daughter from China. I have become a layspeaker and preach in many different churches, and I run a very successful carpet cleaning business. I don't mean to brag, but I just want you to know there is nothing you can't do. Don't let being an aspie hold you back. I never dreamed I would be a public speaker, but it gives me great joy to preach in churches and I was able to overcome my fear of public speaking by just doing it.

 

[Cali Cat]

The most important thing for a young person to do is to determine as early as possible what his/her true strengths and weaknesses are. When you know what your limitations are, you can plan your future around them. Your strengths will take care of themselves and you can use them to become successful. I'm not suggesting that you never grow beyond your current limitations, but you must realize where they are. By "limitation," I mean the point at which you can no longer function comfortably. This is where you need to formulate a "Plan B." If everything else goes to hell, you can fall back to this. Whether it be in jobs, relationships, whatever, you've got to have a plan if your attempts to succeed beyond your limitations fail. Once you have a safety net, you can shoot for the stars if you wish.