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Aspies boys more comfortable with their masculinity?

Z

ZebraAutismo

Well-Known Member
V.I.P Member
Are any of you autistic males more comfortable in expressing more stereotypically girly? When I with the lads at college (All autistic or LD). We discuss things like Disney, Twilight and girly stuff in general and it's just normal. Where as most boys I speak to even if they like these things are really secretive about it.

My Mum thinks it's because its just a fact to them which I can see. I wonder if it's just because the lads at college feel safe there? Or is it like me and dolls? People have that much stuff to pick on them for that these things are the least of their problems.
 
I can't talk for the others here, but I am definitely more comfortable with gender bending than most people I know. My tastes definitely border on the feminine side, especially in movies and art (Yay Kawaii!!).
 
I've never been into the super-masculine things like hunting, fishing, guns, trucks, whatever. I'm not afraid or ashamed at all about liking what society would consider more feminine things (fruity vodka ftw, too bad I don't drink anymore). People think I'm a closet homosexual because of it; my dad practically wept with joy the first time I brought a girl home.

I'd rather watch a whole season of Friends while eating ice cream than go shoot some dumb animal with a high-powered rifle from half a mile away. I always figured it's because I was basically raised by my much older sister until I was in my pre-teens. Lots of memories of her teaching me to ride a bike and crap like that, not so much of my parents. As a side note, I talked like a 90's teenage girl well into adulthood for this very reason, and I still kinda do, about which I feel little compulsion to change.
 
Are the arts considered feminine? I wonder sometimes if men who are into the arts scene are looked upon different than other men...

I will confess to have no real interest in weapons... I did grow up in a household with no guns or weapons of any sort... Whereas some of my friends had at least some interest... And this is Canada where there is less gun culture than in the United States...

And once a year I go on a church men's retreat where there happens to be a gun range, a lot of the men bring guns to do a little playing around, I have felt like one of the few men who really had no interest, but as I said above... But I wasn't the only one either...
 
I was farm and ranch born and raised, but never fit their mold... I have never been "feminine", but compared to my family I cant say on here what they call me sometimes...

Yet, I have a pickup, and big ass 4x4 Suburban (car hauler), but I also love driving fast cars... I'm not into guns, gun talk, and all the redneck rhetoric about how fast a bullet travels and what it would do to me if it hit me...

I'm baseball and golf, they are football and wrestling (gag). I don't like hunting (I do know how if it were needed to survive). I do like to fish and camp, but never do I take more than what is needed to eat. I don't care if someone is gay or straight, or worry about it. My family is a bunch of homophobes and have an opinion on everything, and everyone... And I guess thats fine, but I chose a very different path.

I would be happy to try and mediate with a monk while they get stoned and drunk.
I will go off and fight my wars in my head, while they throw fists...

I wear shorts, polo shirts, and cap, they wear boots jeans and cowboy hats...
They call me a fag all the time, but I'm not - I'm just weird to them.

So in general I never had a chance to really consider anything but my altered view of masculinity. So I guess anything feminine is just basically not on my radar as much... I do like art, deeply love music, and I love to read and write... Not on the radar of anyone in my family...

I think I must have been switched at birth... The only problem is... there was no other baby in the nursery of that Podunk Hospital.

Oddly enough I don't really look a whole lot like anyone in my family, nor do I act like them. : )
 
Masculinity and social conventions have very little bearing on many Aspie males. Being free from society's weird hangups is one of the perks for me an Aspie. I watch cartoons and I don't care for sports. I find the concept of sports fandom a little off-putting. A football game is pretty much the antithesis of things I like it's loud, obnoxious needlessly violent, and people display a weird lack of empathy towards the players. It's like a modern gladiator games.
 
Growing up, I was taught that activities and interests don't actually have gender (well, this is what I was taught by my mother and a handful of other important adults in my life) and I had diverse male role models...... so I can't say how much autism versus upbringing has to do with my relative lack of insecurity about my masculinity.

I do have some insecurity at times, but it is just a fleeting/momentary self-conscious awareness that something I do or something I like might be considered feminine; It has no impact on how I dress, how I speak, how I act, what I like, or what I choose to do.
 
Sportster said:
It might be a generational thing, as I always leaned toward the masculine like playing cowboys and indians, war, cops and robbers, etc. As I got older, motorsports became my thing. Most of my videos are westerns, war flicks, or something to do with motorsports. Now that I'm approaching "the golden years," I've developed an interest in Krav Maga.
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I think today's boys are more comfortable as it seems more acceptable these days. Boys can wear makeup and it's not an issue now but in the past these would of been such a taboo.
 
Gritches said:
I've never been into the super-masculine things like hunting, fishing, guns, trucks, whatever. I'm not afraid or ashamed at all about liking what society would consider more feminine things (fruity vodka ftw, too bad I don't drink anymore). People think I'm a closet homosexual because of it; my dad practically wept with joy the first time I brought a girl home.

I'd rather watch a whole season of Friends while eating ice cream than go shoot some dumb animal with a high-powered rifle from half a mile away. I always figured it's because I was basically raised by my much older sister until I was in my pre-teens. Lots of memories of her teaching me to ride a bike and crap like that, not so much of my parents. As a side note, I talked like a 90's teenage girl well into adulthood for this very reason, and I still kinda do, about which I feel little compulsion to change.
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You sound awesome.
 
Sherlock77 said:
Are the arts considered feminine? I wonder sometimes if men who are into the arts scene are looked upon different than other men...

I will confess to have no real interest in weapons... I did grow up in a household with no guns or weapons of any sort... Whereas some of my friends had at least some interest... And this is Canada where there is less gun culture than in the United States...

And once a year I go on a church men's retreat where there happens to be a gun range, a lot of the men bring guns to do a little playing around, I have felt like one of the few men who really had no interest, but as I said above... But I wasn't the only one either...
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Arts arn't femine Well at least not to me. Although their has always been a bias in my art class.
 
the_tortoise said:
Growing up, I was taught that activities and interests don't actually have gender (well, this is what I was taught by my mother and a handful of other important adults in my life) and I had diverse male role models...... so I can't say how much autism versus upbringing has to do with my relative lack of insecurity about my masculinity.

I do have some insecurity at times, but it is just a fleeting/momentary self-conscious awareness that something I do or something I like might be considered feminine; It has no impact on how I dress, how I speak, how I act, what I like, or what I choose to do.
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So was I shame the world didn't seem it that way. Even now people say to me "Your a girl you can't play pokémon".
 
Let's just say that for me, becoming a senior citizen allows one to not be the least bit concerned with what others think. Whatever it may entail. :cool:

As for my boyhood days, yes in those times it mattered very much. Things were very different back then in comparison. When sexual orientation was a line drawn in the sand where one crossed them only at great peril. :eek:

Of course for those of us who never got married, adults were more than willing to make incorrect assumptions or accusations as well. I suppose to me such things all have one common denominator- peer pressure. :(
 
I've never really put much thought in regards to whether my interests are masculine or feminine. I like cars, motorcycles, and the racing of the bunch, big machinery, video games, books, music, weapons and war (though don't own a gun), and take interest in all sorts of topics which aren't very mainstream and not widely known about. I'm just always interested to learn and experience new things. I have very little interest in sports and usually find it pretty anti-intellectual which is a turn off for me. I was at a pro football game (Canadian) some weeks back for the first time ever. The reactions of the fans who took it absurdly seriously just reminded me of the movie idiocracy. I found myself more interested in watching the cheerleaders rather than the game much of the time. :laughing:

I guess I don't think of most interests as especially masculine or feminine, maybe other that when the fan base of the interest in question is extremely one sided in gender.
 
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Pariah Dog said:
I've never really put much thought in regards to whether my interests are masculine or feminine. I like cars, motorcycles, and the racing of the bunch, big machinery, video games, books, music, weapons and war (though don't own a gun), and take interest in all sorts of topics which aren't very mainstream and now well known about. I'm just always interested to learn and experience new things. I have very little interest in sports and usually find it pretty anti-intellectual which is a turn off for me. I was at a pro football game (Canadian) some weeks back for the first time ever. The reactions of the fans who took it absurdly seriously just reminded me of the movie idiocracy. I found myself more interested in watching the cheerleaders rather than the game much of the time. :laughing:

I guess I don't think of most interests as especially masculine or feminine, maybe other that when the fan base of the interest in question is extremely one sided in gender.
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Neither have I
 
Pariah Dog said:
I've never really put much thought in regards to whether my interests are masculine or feminine. I like cars, motorcycles, and the racing of the bunch, big machinery, video games, books, music, weapons and war (though don't own a gun), and take interest in all sorts of topics which aren't very mainstream and now well known about. I'm just always interested to learn and experience new things. I have very little interest in sports and usually find it pretty anti-intellectual which is a turn off for me. I was at a pro football game (Canadian) some weeks back for the first time ever. The reactions of the fans who took it absurdly seriously just reminded me of the movie idiocracy. I found myself more interested in watching the cheerleaders rather than the game much of the time. :laughing:

I guess I don't think of most interests as especially masculine or feminine, maybe other that when the fan base of the interest in question is extremely one sided in gender.
Click to expand...
I try not too. I feel like people should just do what they love.
 
A few years ago our eight year old Autistic son walked into the toy aisle of a department store and saw a box of hoola hoops and put his hand in and pulled randomly a pastel color one out and started walking to the counter with great joy. The checkout lady gave him a funny look when he acted all excited about it, but we were happy for him that he found a new toy he liked.

He had no concept of what was traditional male or female toys, and its traditional way for mostly girls to swing around the hips or waist. He just wanted the hoop to play with in his own ways, like tossing it as a big frisbee ring at home, to roll it along the floor, to spin it on the ground, and to climb through it.

Neither child has shown yet any traditionally feminine traits, as I thought Autism persons often had more male hormones or masculine features. I think thus it is not necessarily that most of those boys will look or act more feminine, but just gravitate to things that they find fascinating because of their senses, without trying to over analyze what others think, and with less concern to fit some stereotype or persona.
 
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