Aspies boys more comfortable with their masculinity?

[hutchie]

Don't think I've ever been the masculine type, is this aimed at boys or males in general? Sorry not really understanding.

 

[ZebraAutismo]

Don't think I've ever been the masculine type, is this aimed at boys or males in general? Sorry not really understanding.

I just mean do people think aspies are less bothered by people's opinions of their interests.

 

[Pariah Dog]

Well said!!! Since you and I come from the same era, you articulated what I was trying to convey. The marriage issue was another thing that I could have touched on. I don't know at what point it stopped being a milestone, but I'm glad.

I've learned how to "speak marriage," as I have found that a married man has a better chance of securing a position than a single one. I purchased a cheap men's wedding band and wear it when I have an interview. Legally they cannot ask about marital status, but when they see the ring it changes the tone of the interview. I once had an interviewer (ninth for just one position) blatantly ask me if I were married. I questioned the reasoning for the question. He said, "It demonstrates stability." I advised him that it merely demonstrates one's marital status. I also advised him of the legal implications of the question. They offered me the position, but at $3.00 per hour less than originally discussed.

I also have encountered a prejudice towards single males in the work place. I do understand it to a point on one degree. From experience single males are much more likely to be partying, not showing up for work, showing up hung over...etc. It is not fair to single males who live a straight life but just can't land a woman. It's also not fair to those who keep receiving the prejudice even after they have proven themselves to be reliable.

It just made me realize how this sort of unfair prejudice could be applied to other categories of individuals who are upstanding yet a large number of their peers routinely prove to be a problem or the thorn in the side of a company, a society...etc.

A few years ago our eight year old Autistic son walked into the toy aisle of a department store and saw a box of hoola hoops and put his hand in and pulled randomly a pastel color one out and started walking to the counter with great joy. The checkout lady gave him a funny look when he acted all excited about it, but we were happy for him that he found a new toy he liked.

He had no concept of what was traditional male or female toys, and its traditional way for mostly girls to swing around the hips or waist. He just wanted the hoop to play with in his own ways, like tossing it as a big frisbee ring at home, to roll it along the floor, to spin it on the ground, and to climb through it.

Neither child has shown yet any traditionally feminine traits, as I thought Autism persons often had more male hormones or masculine features. I think thus it is not necessarily that most of those boys will look or act more feminine, but just gravitate to things that they find fascinating because of their senses, without trying to over analyze what others think, and with less concern to fit some stereotype or persona.

That is funny. When I was a kid at school everyone would use hoola hoops sometimes in gym class. There would sometimes be a class of learning hoola hoop tricks. There was really no thought of gender connected to it.

 

[Adder1234]

I've just never seen any reason to let other peoples opinions bother me. I mean, I love watching action movies, hunting and do plenty of other things that would be classed as "masculine." But I also regularly watch classic Disney movies and sing along with them and I often use women's deodorant and shampoo because I find that it's better for my skin and hair.

 

[Misery]

Well, I'll just put it this way...

I go to anime conventions and such, and I do cosplay, yeah? Nothing specifically masculine or feminine about that, right? Yeah, well, except for the bit where I've done outfits like this one: Noel Vermillion Released

And I'm male. But I figured, I have the body-shape and overall look to pull it off (I'm not exactly very masculine when it comes to my normal appearance), and I liked the character alot, and also because I just bloody well felt like it, so I did. It went over quite well, actually. And yeah, friends of mine were indeed around at the time, so it wasnt exactly some secret act. They'd gotten used to me doing stuff like this years ago.

When doing something like that, I figure, it fits, I like it, and it ends up looking good, so where's the problem? I figure, if someone does have a problem with it, it's THEIR problem, not mine. I'm stubborn and will do as I like, thanks.


When it comes to other interests? I dont care. I dont like sports, I hate guns, I never, ever drink. I really like animals and absolutely will make a variety of squeaking sounds at dogs and such, specifically because I've noticed that for whatever reason some dogs seem to respond to such sounds. I also am into video games as my main hobby, and that one isnt masculine or feminine (well, it would be if I were the super-stereotypical sort that just plays shooters all the time, but I'm not).

Now I'll admit that I have some gender issues in an overall sense, but when it comes to any of these things here? I dont see why so many people get all bothered by stuff like that. Seems idiotic. Why people cant just let others have their own fun instead of making such a big deal of things like this is beyond me.

 

[BradT]

I think I feel pretty comfortable with my masculinity even though I do my own thing and not around a lot of people. I wear clean t-shirts and sweat pants to class ,because I'm too lazy to find jeans and polos lol. I know t shirts and sweat pants are a big turn off to women, but I don't care, I'm going to do what makes me feel comfortable and content.

 

[Wolfgangus Faldestolius]

I think there is worse intolerance now than there used to be.

Analysing types may go for what's bookish, or model-making, or spotting. Sensing types may go for what immediately engages with feeling / aesthetics.

Neither "reputedly" narrowly "masculine" according to what we're told nowadays.

There was a sense that even if one's peers had distinct tastes and opportunities, we were all participating in the same life.

I believe it was thought standard, that boys would want to go bus spotting. Those who played cello at school, or were more eager at painting paintings, weren't considered a different species.

The main lesson in life is to cultivate both sides proportionately. And utterly eschew the stereotypes others want to force on us.