‘Anything but the phone!’: Communication mode preferences in the autism community

[VictorR]

Lay Abstract:

What is already known about the topic?

There has been a lot of research into things like how autistic people’s communication styles are different to those of non-autistic people, especially among children. This has tended to focus on parent reports and experiments, rather than asking autistic people about their own experiences and preferences regarding communication.

What does this article add?

This article is the first to ask autistic adults how they prefer to communicate in different scenarios. We asked whether they preferred to use a range of methods, such email, phone calls, letters and live messaging, in scenarios from education to customer services to friends and family. When contacting unknown people or organisations, we found that generally email was preferred, and phone calls were very unpopular. However, for friends, family and people they felt comfortable with, they preferred both face-to-face and written forms of communication (e.g. email and text message).

Implications for practice, research or policy

The findings suggest that services should move away from a reliance on phone calls for communication. They should make sure that access to support is not dependent on the phone, and instead offer written options such as email and live messaging which are more accessible. Future research should investigate the impact of COVID-19 on autistic people’s communication preferences, as video calling has become much more commonly used and potentially combines benefits and challenges of other modes discussed in this article.

Full article available free at SAGE Journals: Your gateway to world-class research journals

 

[Neonatal RRT]

I would agree with the speaking on the phone being awkward. The most obvious one for me is the timing of responses at the very beginning of the conversation, as well as during the end of the conversation. It's almost like there is a 1-2 second delay and we end up speaking over top of each other, like every time. I know for sure that my timing is off during a regular face-to-face conversation. If there is more than one person, like sitting around a table, forget it, I just don't have the skills to time my jumping in and out of the conversation, so I just sit and observe. It's so bad that at home, people just call my wife and when she is busy and I answer the phone the conversation is real awkward.

Texting is better for me, and I frequently will add the emojis (usually a happy face) just to let the receiver know that this response was a happy one. Otherwise, people are imagining my resting "gumpy" face and dry, direct language, and imply a "negative tone" to whatever I text. The problem is that I can type on a large keyboard pretty well, but those tiny phone keyboards takes me forever.

 

[Progster]

I always feel awkward on the phone. I often need time to think and respond. If this is happening face to face, the other person can see that I'm thinking, but on the phone, they might think I've hung up or can't hear them. I also find it hard to understand what people are saying because of the bad quality of the sound.

I prefer either to text or to use email, and prefer to work from my desktop - I also find phone keyboards difficult to use. And I always make sure that what I write is correct, hate making mistakes, which means that I take a lot longer to write on my phone than on my desktop computer. I've disabled autocorrect, because that makes even more mistakes than I do

I use Whatsapp for work, but under the clear understanding that it's text only. I don't mind close family members calling, though.

Really fed up with cold calling/spam calls. Nowadays I only pick up calls from known numbers, never answer an unknown number.

 

[Magna]

Speaking over each other is a regular occurrence for me on the phone. I'm not sure why. That being said, I'd rather talk to someone I don't know or someone related to work, etc by phone than in person any day.

 

[Varzar]

Phone is definitely the worst for me.
In text, I have more time to think about my word usage, and the word usage of others, and get perhaps extra meaning from that.
In person, I've trained myself to recognize a lot of NT facial expressions (although I'm still next to useless at tone of voice).

So, phone has neither the time to think, nor facial expression queues for me to make use of. It's the worst form of communication. Where ever possible, if a phone call needs to be made, I will try to get my wife to do it. lol

 

[ASD_Geek]

This is so me! I can't stand phone conversations but had to get used to making some calls for work because my boss added that to my performance review. He felt that I could "impart my knowledge" easier if I called people. I told him that I'd rather use email or instant message so I can have the record of the conversation, be able to construct an appropriate response, etc. and he has gotten used to that and is OK with it for most interactions.

 

[watersprite]

I’ve improved my phone technique and yet have to pace while speaking.
There are a few people who I find can do pretty well with me on the phone or skype, etc. But that’s because I listen and they talk.

I speak over, or wait too long, or respond to a tangent. This seems to drive people nuts. And I have learned that, about being able to “listen between the lines,” I simply cannot.
I believe what people say, until I notice or catch a person in a pattern of lies.

 

[Sherlock77]

My preferences?

1) In person, "live"

2) On the phone

3) Texting

To explain, I find that texting is fine for basic communication like meeting up with a friend, "I'm here now", I dislike texting when trying to carry on a conversation

To explain further, I find I prefer making a phone call when trying to relay more complex information or discuss something, I find that texting more complex information is challenging for me... I also prefer a general conversation over the phone versus texting

This might be an element of age for me at almost 50, I remember pre-cell phone, I realize that many people younger than me don't remember a time without even smart phones, let alone flip cell phones...

 

[Yeshuasdaughter]

I've always communicated best through writing.

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

I very seldom use the phone, had cell phone for years, have made only a few calls in all that time. other features more important texting talking not my style.

 

[LadyS]

Ditto with what everyone else said. I'm still trying to figure out goodbyes though. Who is supposed to have the last word? Especially in service-type calls, always awkward silence at the very end. Just say bye already so I can hang up. Forget all the niceties.

 

[Au Naturel]

I've worked for many years doing tech support on the phone. I was a good agent. I solved people's problems and they were happy. I solved problems nobody else had been able to touch. I "naturally" have an engineer's mindset which is great for troubleshooting. I think a lot of aspies share that trait. I have a flat, matter-of-fact delivery that gave people confidence in my technical skills. I was good at calming people down who were overexcited because I knew my stuff well enough to honestly promise a solution.

Heh heh... Then the policy started to shift. We were restricted to answering an AI system's questions to troubleshoot. It appeared that it was going to be a long time before they got the algorithm correct for everything and new problems crop up with every software or hardware revision, so the AI system was always inadequate. They also decided that the tech support force was going to be part of the sales force, so we ended up under pressure to sell our way out of a problem. They started grading us on our "social skills," small talk, and schmoozing. There were mandatory scripted statements. We were required to immediately apologize to every caller with a problem, had to use specific empathy statements, use certain words that were thought to be more soothing to customers, call them by their first names, develop a friendship over the phone, and whatever.

I was failing miserably at this. There were also a lot more angry customers. "I am so %$#@! tired of being told over and over that you're sorry. Fix it or give me your manager!" Of course, the manager was just another floor agent. We weren't allowed to get a real manager. They could only be scheduled as a callback that often never happened.

Ended up taking early retirement.

 

[ForestGumpett]

I hate text, too hard to see and people don’t check behind themselves to see what they actually said. A lot comes in jumbled.

The timing when talking is also difficult for me as one of the other members mentioned. I talk over people so much I have learned to just wait for a while and this is awkward.

I do like to letter write, but they get too lengthy. So, I just read and keep my mouth shut is what I’ve learned.

 

[Au Naturel]

I hate text, too hard to see and people don’t check behind themselves to see what they actually said. A lot comes in jumbled.

The timing when talking is also difficult for me as one of the other members mentioned. I talk over people so much I have learned to just wait for a while and this is awkward.

I do like to letter write, but they get too lengthy. So, I just read and keep my mouth shut is what I’ve learned.

Blogging may be more your style. I find it gives me time enough to organize my brain to get things right and over time I can see real progress in my writing skills when I check my old stuff. Once in a great while, I get a well-reasoned response and I get a ping of dopamine.

 

[tree]

Talking on the phone is OK.
Better than talking in person.

Writing with a keyboard is easier than talking though.
The words stay where I can see them.

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

I've worked for many years doing tech support on the phone. I was a good agent. I solved people's problems and they were happy. I solved problems nobody else had been able to touch. I "naturally" have an engineer's mindset which is great for troubleshooting. I think a lot of aspies share that trait. I have a flat, matter-of-fact delivery that gave people confidence in my technical skills. I was good at calming people down who were overexcited because I knew my stuff well enough to honestly promise a solution.

Heh heh... Then the policy started to shift. We were restricted to answering an AI system's questions to troubleshoot. It appeared that it was going to be a long time before they got the algorithm correct for everything and new problems crop up with every software or hardware revision, so the AI system was always inadequate. They also decided that the tech support force was going to be part of the sales force, so we ended up under pressure to sell our way out of a problem. They started grading us on our "social skills," small talk, and schmoozing. There were mandatory scripted statements. We were required to immediately apologize to every caller with a problem, had to use specific empathy statements, use certain words that were thought to be more soothing to customers, call them by their first names, develop a friendship over the phone, and whatever.MY youngest brother spent years working as a service technologist on phone systems, now in the military.

I was failing miserably at this. There were also a lot more angry customers. "I am so %$#@! tired of being told over and over that you're sorry. Fix it or give me your manager!" Of course, the manager was just another floor agent. We weren't allowed to get a real manager. They could only be scheduled as a callback that often never happened.

Ended up taking early retirement.

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

Talking on the phone is OK.
Better than talking in person.

Writing with a keyboard is easier than talking though.
The words stay where I can see them.

my stroke made using the key board more difficult touch typed , now hunt and peck.

 

[Yeshuasdaughter]

my stroke made using the key board more difficult touch typed , now hunt and peck.

I had a brain injury from chemo and for a while I had a hard time reading or doing math. Just keep working at it, and those synapses will form again, and you'll be back to your old self.

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

when I was in the hospital I had issues doing grade school math therapy was fun. It seems to have come back.

 

[PastelPetals]

My favorite way of communication is a nice long email.