Anyone else like being alone?

[Peter Morrison]

For me, the enemy is the chaotic environment in certain places. I don't dislike interacting with someone, but I can't stand noises, sudden activity, and distractions around me, especially if I need to concentrate, solve problems, and make decisions. It's true that you need to be your own best company. When you need to be alone, you can be alone. If I get bored, it's my own fault. Even though there are more than 200 flavors of ice-cream, I should never complain when there is only vanilla. Vanilla without chaos sounds pretty good.

 

[Bikutoso]

Yes, but not when every day for the last 5 years feels the same and you no longer remember when recent things happened.

 

[Pats]

Okay okay perhaps in my not-so-modern poor family only.. We didnt have that at that time. That was an embarrassing mistake.. (Plus, the internet was not as good as today's)

Btw i like to be alone too Sometimes i do prefer company

Don't worry about it - the internet may have come out 30 years ago, but there was nothing on it. It was not information filled, apps, banking on line, etc.

And @Connor W I love being alone - always have and always will. I liked being alone before internet.

 

[tlc]

Agree with most here. I prefer to be alone. Being alone is the only time I am ever sure of anything and I can be giddy happy. When anyone else is around there is stress and uncertainty.

I've been online since 1997. I preferred it back then. I found there to be tons of information, chat and forums for sharing projects, online banking and stores, dating sites. But very little of it was in realtime like it is today. Back then it was straightforward and optimized for dialup. Today I still have that same dialup service because that's all I can get so I do most everything at work. Thankfully there is a fiber optic service under construction that should be here in about 2 years.

 

[GBWest]

I hate it. I've been alone for 11 years now.

 

[Nervous Rex]

I like to be mostly alone but yeah you're right - socialization is good for you. I am technically not really alone though as I live with my family and I'm 15, so I still have people to talk to.

I think it’s about balance and individual needs. Some socialization is good for me, but too much will wear me down. I need some quiet time to keep myself calm, collected, and centered, but too much will make me antisocial.

 

[Aspychata]

My ex was so horrible to me, that l feel safe alone. He caused me so much pain and issues, that l associate men with pain and emotional issues. l lived with him 18 years, but the last 5 years were absolutely horrible with him. l took a year to meet a friend, because l have zero trust in people. As long as after a hard day of work, my apartment is empty, l am 100% happy.

 

[Weezer]

I don't mind people around me. It's when they talk to me or get in my way that bothers me.

 

[Fiona]

I NEED to be alone. I don't feel like myself when I'm with others, even family. I'm currently living only with my boyfriend and of course I love him and stuff, I can do almost everything around him but it's still a struggle for me that I just CAN'T be alone for YEARS now. I can't recharge my energy, reset, calm myself properly.

{somewhat offtopic rant part} Previously we were living with his parents and brother for 3 years and I thought I can somehow get use to them but my progress was like 0.1%... I was anxious all the time, I couldn't go to the kitchen or bathroom whenever I want to, I couldn't talk to them without overstressing, just pure struggle all the time. So I needed to change this situation and I thought I would go back to my family house but my parents didn't agree with my genius plan. That was in their mind "best for me" option. Now I don't think that would be that great either but still better than my last experiences. Anyway I rent a small apartment now. I'm here only a month and I'm freaking out inside. I don't feel able to deal with any part of adulthood. I do have money now and everything, our parents can help us anytime so I shouldn't been worrying about it that much BUT I DO. I DO SO MUCH. Like what are those cost of living even!? It's crazy! So I regret moving out now, even if I wasn't happy there but I could maybe think about a better plan or better flat or I don't know... Now all my money is going to trash so I don't have any security nor possibilities to change something. And I don't like the neighborhood, or even the city, it's ugly. And I'm crying all the time. And I have so much work now with which I can't deal because I'm exhausted but if I won't be able to do that then what then...? I feel so homeless. Oh, and I have mess all over the place because I don't have time/energy/something to be organized right now. I'm sorry, I just wanted to get it off my chest. It didn't help but whatever. {rant over}

 

[SusanLR]

I can't really relax around people and only ever really feel relaxed when I'm on my own

I feel the same.
Yet I don't like living alone. I don't find incentive to do anything but lay around or be on line
unless someone is around to get me going.
I could feel relaxed and myself with my Mom, but, she has been the only one.
Having someone else in the house although we each have our own parts of it,
I'm always not truly at ease until he is out somewhere or at night when he is sleeping.
Yet I feel the need of someone to do some things with or talk a little with.

 

[Bronzelincolns]

I'm actually seeing myself become more and more like this.

 

[Jeremiah]

I, too, find some kind serenity in solitude.
I am actually incapable of feeling loneliness and I never miss other people, like family or friends, which my mother doesn't seem to comprehend.

 

[Gracey]

I, too, find some kind serenity in solitude.
I am actually incapable of feeling loneliness and I never miss other people, like family or friends, which my mother doesn't seem to comprehend.

I notice rather than miss.

I’ll use an example of my eldest daughter moving into her own home.

I notice her absence because the routines she had, noises she made, company she provided for so many years under my roof,
Don’t happen anymore.

I’m proud, pleased and excited for her, Not sorrowful because she isn’t here.

She’s spread her wings, I want her to go on and delight in soaring.

I’m always here to help if she needs it.

 

[JDShredds]

Yes, I prefer to be alone the majority of the time. That is not to be confused with all of the time.

Living alone for 1 1/2 years has taught me that while I do thrive in solitude, it reaches a point - particularly without a day job (daily interaction) - that complete isolation can weigh on someone even as introverted and Aspie as myself. I've learned to compensate by keeping in touch with a small circle of friends and forcing myself out here and there, though usually its just walks, trips to the store, or reconnecting with nature.

However, I also know the other end of it, like living in a home full of people, and then having school or work on top of it... It can be one of the most exhausting experiences and lead to a severe need to escape. Hence my life being so quiet. In such environments I'm almost guaranteed to lock myself up in my room most of the time; or leave the house to get away from everyone.

I prefer a life where I can sit in what most would consider an "oddly silent" home, and I still think to myself, "Boy, the world sure is noisy," as I hear two clocks ticking, the wood from furniture creaking, the wind outside, the distant traffic, birds chirping, etc. And clearly, this usually involves no other people around; or if they are, they're being quiet.

 

[invisibility003]

I like being alone. Being alone, as in, no people are around, screaming and laughing and making noise and trying to talk to me and judging me. It's nice and peaceful and quiet and I'm calm and usually happy and i can think and do what I want and do my own thing. But I really don't like feeling alone. Like I'm invisible, worth nothing, I want to disappear, only person here and no one gets me at all and I'm by myself and sad and lonely and anxious, and no one likes me and they wish i was gone and i wish i was gone and they don't notice me and they judge me when they see me and i'm not here. Being alone is nice, sometimes. I need lots of time to myself. I just hate feeling alone. It sucks. And i'm scared i'm going to feel alone for the rest of my life.

 

[inkfingers]

I prefer to be alone, as well. Solitude is bliss. I get enough action and socialization in my household without dealing with the outside world. I have 3 siblings who are all home schooled, so I don't need any more social time apart from them. I like to take online classes for college, so that I can minimize my interactions with other people.

 

[Gracey]

Is it the extraneous noise created by groups of people we sometimes need a break from?
(Choosing solitude)

Rather than just the people themselves?

Processing happens easily in a much quieter environment.

Refrigerator humming, rain against the window, wind, distant traffic, heating system starting up.
All noises,
But we have the time and headspace to process.
Being able to hear ourselves think ?

Whereas a crowded workplace, a busy town or city, the hustle and bustle of lots of people shopping in a supermarket or retail park,
Lots of noise and lots to process ? Too much at once.

I’ve lost where I was going with this,
(Rolls eyes)
I might remember later

 

[Reirei]

I recognize that a certain amount of socialization is good for me, so when someone says, "Let's go to lunch" or invites me to something, I make myself go

This is what I do but sometimes even when I've agreed to plans, I often end up dreading going and it causes a lot of anxiety. My favorite thing is that my husband and I are both gamers so sometimes we'll be sitting in the same room both playing separate good games so we're alone but not?

 

[Nervous Rex]

Is it the extraneous noise created by groups of people we sometimes need a break from?
(Choosing solitude)

Rather than just the people themselves?

For me, processing speech requires effort. If only one person is talking and I'm not trying to do something else at the same time, it's okay. Multiple people talking is hard to deal with.

If I'm tired or preoccupied, just listening to one person speak is difficult. When I come home tired at the end of the day, my teenage daughter often tells me everything that happened that day in great detail - it usually takes about half an hour. It's exhausting to listen to, but if I'm doing the dad thing right, hopefully she doesn't know that.

 

[AHuman]

I like to be alone surrounded by total silence as often as I can, bonus points if my surroundings are clean and tidy.

I only live with my husband but it's been a while since I was last able to get some alone time, cicumstances have changed and it is bliss.

Up to about two weeks ago, he had been unemployed for about 8 months. We have also been through some traumas in the past year, and in December I hit burnt-out. I was off work for three months, I've only just gone back.

Since we've both been back at work, and I'm finally getting some true alone time my anxiety levels have dropped about 40%. I'm suddenly able to do things I want to do again, all because I get to be on my own for at least a few hours a week.

I love my husband, but even existing in the same house as another human is very, very tiring for me and I need a break sometimes.