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Featured Anyone Else Forgetful When It Comes To Names?

Discussion in 'Friends, Family & Social Skills' started by RiverSong, Apr 4, 2017.

  1. RiverSong

    RiverSong Spoilers

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    Is anyone else really forgetful when it comes to names? I mean, I've never been any good with names. I usually have a hard time remembering people's names unless they're someone I see on a daily basis. And even then, I still tend to call people by the wrong name. Or I just flat out forget the person's name all together, which makes for an awkward dance of me trying to avoid asking them, "I'm sorry, but what's your name again?"

    I'm not sure if this could be spectrum related or if I just have a memory lapse when it comes to people's names, but this isn't getting any better. It's gotten to the point where I'll meet or be introduced to someone at work and as soon as they say their name, amid the handshaking or questions of what I do or where I'm from, I immediately forget the person's name that was just mentioned a few seconds ago. And no matter how hard I try to remember, I just draw a blank.

    I've tried doing the name association thing where you associate a person's name to something memorable like a tv personality or cartoon character, etc. But that doesn't work if I can't even recall the person's name in the first place. Does anyone else experience this?
     
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  2. toothless

    toothless this is mr shadow,my support cat

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    yes!
    i forget names even of family,its awful,i think its related to executive dysfunction.
    i continuously forget support staffs names and my mates names at a mencap social group so i just say 'hi mate' or 'hi' not 'hi duncan' or 'hi jemima', i will sit there and wait listening out for someone else to mention their name and then act like i knew it all along. :D
     
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  3. The Penguin

    The Penguin Chilly Willy The Penguin

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    Never been good at it. I'm trying to get better at it since my boss is having me meet customers more often.
     
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  4. LittleLemon

    LittleLemon Well-Known Member

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    Yes and it's starting to get embarrassing. As soon as they say it, I forget it. I've found that sometimes repeating their name helps.

    I'm in a mommy/child group and we used to wear nametags for both the parents and kids. We don't anymore and now I don't know anyone's name! Other moms will say hi to both myself and my son by name and I'm like, 'hi...you.' It doesn't help that some of the kids look exactly the same. There's only maybe 8 other moms in the class.
     
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  5. xudo

    xudo something and nothing

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    In terms of people I've just met, I'm probably not going to remember their name. I can however still remember the names of everyone I went to school with, from primary all the way through high school.
     
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  6. Gary DuBois

    Gary DuBois Well-Known Member

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    sometimes i forget peoples names and then i say sorry i forgot what is your name.
     
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  7. Mia

    Mia Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Not bad with first names if they're ones I've heard before, like Anne, or something unusual like Hattie. Worked in a place where there were two women who were similar in age, height, hair colour, dress, never could get their names right even after years.

    Have been calling my Vet; Dr. Peter for a while now, when I called recently to make an appointment no one knew a Dr. Peter, his first name is David. Oops!

    Luckily I live in a place where there are few unusual names. Most first and last names are ones I've heard many times, women names are; Marie, Annie, Jean, Manon, Sylvie, Lucy, Jacqueline, men's names are Pierre, Alex, Paul, Francoise, Felix, Christian, Marc, Philippe. So I rarely have to memorize a new or unusual one. Some names I remember because they are funny, one local last name: Gagnelatarte, or 'win the pie' makes me smile each time I see it.
     
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  8. When In Rome

    When In Rome Well-Known Member

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    Dreadful with names. People are used to me calling them the wrong name and are polite and tolerant.
     
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  9. Bolletje

    Bolletje Overly complicated potato V.I.P Member

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    I'm the other way around, I'm really good at remembering names and faces. I create awkward situations by greeting someone I talked to once, years ago. I still recall the conversation, they have no clue who I am.
     
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  10. WildCat

    WildCat V.I.P Member

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    I'm almost the exact opposite, both are burned into my mind after only a couple of times. Random strangers off the street I can forget easily, but after seeing the same faces and hearing the same names a couple of times it's hard for me to forget.
     
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  11. Suzanne

    Suzanne Well-Known Member

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    Just the other day, this chap acknowledged me by name, but for the life of me, I could not remember his and so, I just said: if you given the first letter, I will be able to tell you, but with deep embarrassment, I still couldn't and he rather tetchily said his name and I quickly apologised, but now when I think of it; he was not very nice, because I did not do it with evil intent. It was almost like saying: I remembered your name, so how dare you forget my name!

    If I see the person regularly, I will remember their name.

    It would be amusing if I forgot one lady's name, since she is Suzanne too, or my own husband's name, although I do get blank spaces in the brain and could not place his name for a minute, which got a few amused looks.
     
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  12. Aspie_rin

    Aspie_rin Well-Known Member

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    There's people saying hi to me sometimes and who seem to know me, but I have zero idea of who they are. I just say hi back and hope there will not be any conversation
     
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  13. NeoPhile

    NeoPhile Can I get a "Bright not Broken"?

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    I'm like that, too. I have to ask people their name more than once. I have a hard time matching names with faces. Maybe it's because people tell me their name instead of show it to me. I don't have anything visual to remember it.
     
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  14. Gritches

    Gritches The Happy Dog V.I.P Member

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    I've known people for months without knowing their name. I feel kind of bad about it, and I've tried different techniques to remember names, and I just can't. I've just worked my speech around to the point where I'd never need to use someone's name.
     
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  15. Katleya

    Katleya Sarcasm Lover V.I.P Member

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    Could it be that you are so focused on other parts of being introduced (i.e. the handshake, especially if you have sensory issues related to touch) that you have no "memory space available" for the names?

    I'm not sure if I'm bad with names, but I suspect that I am.
    Here's the thing: I hate calling someone by their name. I don't know why, but I do know it is not a cultural thing. It just doesn't come naturally and makes me uneasy, all while feeling just wrong. So I've never worried too much about not memorizing people's names right away, because it's not like I would have used it in the first place. Likewise, I'm uncomfortable with being called by my own name, except for a few people (incidentally, those who are allowed hugs + my dad). I don't know what's wrong with me --and I actually do like my name.

    I love name tags. They make everything so much more convenient. The place where I've worked the longest had name tags and uniforms, that made everything so much easier for me. I wish people would wear name tags almost everywhere, in fact, just so that when I'm told to go see Jack, I can find Jack.
    That being said, very unusual names are immediately set. And those that remind me of something I feel strongly about: I will remember your name if it's the same as someone who hurt me, just like I will remember if it's the same name as some of my favorite persons to be around.

    It also helps if I see the name in writing. Hearing it is never enough.

    One last thing I'm terrible at with names is associating them with the right person. But I don't recognize faces, so that doesn't come as a surprise.
     
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  16. RiverSong

    RiverSong Spoilers

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    I hadn't thought of that before. It could be that I'm more focused on other things than the person's name because there's a lot going on during the verbal exchange. It's as if I hear the person's name but it goes in one ear and out the other, so it doesn't register with me.

    I'm usually just trying to keep up with the conversation without saying something odd or getting the infamous look from the other person. It's the "what's wrong with you" look that I've become all too familiar with.

    I do sometimes feel uncomfortable with saying people's names for those that I do know. It does feel like something more deeply personal that is somewhat difficult to put into words. It's good to know I'm not the only one who feels this way. :)
     
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  17. RiverSong

    RiverSong Spoilers

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    Thanks for all of the replies everyone. I've just started looking into executive functioning and that's why I was wondering about this. Because I'm realizing that I struggle in a lot of areas. I don't tend to forget the names of my immediate family members but I do with outside relatives or with my boyfriend's family, which can be super awkward. So, I try to avoid using people's names whenever I can but that doesn't always pan out.

    It would be great if people wore nametags. That would make things so much easier because I think I can better remember a person's name if I see it written. I know in the past that I've worked with people for months without knowing or having to say their names. I've always just hoped that people wouldn't notice but secretly I wonder if they do.

    Like sometimes, I'm the only one in the campus office at work, which I enjoy. But random or new people will come in from time to time, looking for my coworkers. This doesn't bother me too much unless I have to relay some information from this person to my coworkers. That's where things get tricky. Like recently, a guy from the IT department came in, introduced himself, blah blah, and left. Later I had to inform my coworker that this dude stopped by.

    My coworker asked which IT person it was, what was his name? I was clueless and just admitted I didn't remember his name. So, my coworker went a step further and asked me what the tech guy looked like. It was at this point that I realized I'm also terrible with faces! I couldn't even remember what he looked like. My coworker was nice enough about it but this wasn't the first time this has happened.

    I mean, I also struggle with recognizing and remembering the majority of people's faces. I do this on campus with a lot people. I've even done this with my dad and brother. I usually just try making the excuse that I'm terrible with names whenever these slips happen, but how do you explain that you're terrible with faces too?
     
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  18. Katleya

    Katleya Sarcasm Lover V.I.P Member

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    Yeah, memory has a lot to do with concentration. So if your concentration is busy on other aspects, there's no way information that your brains doesn't deem as essential will register. And since we tend to have this Fight or Flight mode, I'm pretty sure that means our brain focuses on analyzing stimuli, possible escapes and anything else that may come handy in case of flight. A name? Meh, not so much.

    Aah, THE LOOK. I feel your pain, I get it all the time too ;)

    Same.

    That's the first major quirk I've owned up to a few years back, because let's face it, that one is way too big to successfully hide. I got my own mother mixed up with people who were definitely not my mother. I've also not recognized myself on very recent photos, so it seems I'm either incapable of paying any attention at all, or am hopeless.
    People don't usually believe me, until I whip out the beautiful word that is "prosopagnosia". I've met 2 other persons who had this, one of them furiously NT, the other one, I have doubts. But mostly, people are taken aback and then ask the strangest questions, my favorite being "So what so you see instead of a face?".
     
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  19. Mia

    Mia Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Pretty good with faces, terrible with most full names especially if they're new. I have some sort of visual memory for facial recognition. Never, ever forget a face. I can look at pictures and figure out who's related to who by their faces.

    For some reason I've memorized faces all of my life without even realizing it until recently in the last ten years. Think it has something to do with the way I understand language, when people speak I have to look at their face, to comprehend what they are saying. I stare at them when they speak, mainly I look at their mouths and eyes and facial expressions.

    But otherwise my memory for things is terrible in other areas. Used to look at peoples mug shots online, and one day I recognized someone, the face was very familiar. I had seen the person a few days before, but I couldn't remember where. This person was wanted for something like robbery in another city. Never could remember where I saw him and even spoke with the person at the time. Sometimes I can't even find the car in parking lot, but I could probably draw the face of any person I talked to that day. Just don't ask me todays date, or when a relatives birthday is. :eek:
     
    Last edited: Apr 4, 2017
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  20. SameStars

    SameStars Well-Known Member

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    I'm not good with names. I'm not likely to remember it when first introduced (and not at all over the phone), but I will pick it up faster if I see it written down or I already know someone with the same name.
     
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