Martha Ferris
Seeking answers
I am going to try to explain this even though I haven't figured it all out for myself yet. Sorry this is so long.
My sister PMd me last night about having had her DNA tested to see what her (our) family history is and gave me the results. I responded that our brother had done this several years ago and that he had sent me the results when I asked to see them. I wondered to myself why she hadn't just gone with those rather than being tested herself as we are all siblings. I told her I was not interested in geneology. I also pointed out that both of our brothers had researched our geneology and that one of them had been doing so for many, many years and that they had sent me the reports of their findings. She said the one brother was still doing it. I expressed my surprise and wondered what more he could hope to find to which she replied that with the internet there is so much more opportunity to discover things. I suggested that at least it was something to keep him busy and to myself thought that it was perhaps an autism trait as he is on the spectrum. I replied that what is on the internet has to be inputed data and unless one has done something notable then it is not likely that there would be much information about someone especially from generations ago. She then cited all the places to get information but these are very limited sources and again the farther back one goes the more limited they become. She said that her husband is also very interested in the subject and that when they went to Cleveland, Ohio they found the steet and the house where his grandmother had lived. Oh excitement. I replied "That's cool" trying to be friendly in a tense situation and that ended the converstation. No reply back. My sister is quick to annoy and anger.
This is just another example, as I have mentioned in my comments in other posts, where I am the odd one out. Where one of my family members seemed to have become upset or even dismissed me when I was not in agreement with them on a topic.
I don't get this fascination with other people. I, as a rule, don't gossip. I just don't care about the lives of others unless I can help them in some way. We all are born, we live our lives through easy and hard times, we all have our sorrows and our joys then we die end of story. Our ancestors lived that is why we are here. For me there is nothing more of interest and certainly nothing that would make me spend time and energy on. Did you know this about so and so? I don't care.
I can accept that geneology is of interest to my family. I don't understand the interest but I can accept it. I can't understand the hostility.
For myself I prefer objects over people. I like antiques. I like the history of things. I like the unusual. I like the craftmanship. The creativity. On the many Autism tests I have taken this was one of the questions: Do you prefer people or things? Perhaps it was worded differently but that was the gist of the question. Everytime it was things. Things over people.
I am tired of the hostility because I am different. I am tired of being "other" and not accepted as being of the same value as the next person because I am not like someone or "everybody" else. I am tired of the judgement. I am tired of others opinions of my "shoulds". And I am sad because again there is strife in my family over something so insignificant which has put up a barrier again in a relationship.
My sister PMd me last night about having had her DNA tested to see what her (our) family history is and gave me the results. I responded that our brother had done this several years ago and that he had sent me the results when I asked to see them. I wondered to myself why she hadn't just gone with those rather than being tested herself as we are all siblings. I told her I was not interested in geneology. I also pointed out that both of our brothers had researched our geneology and that one of them had been doing so for many, many years and that they had sent me the reports of their findings. She said the one brother was still doing it. I expressed my surprise and wondered what more he could hope to find to which she replied that with the internet there is so much more opportunity to discover things. I suggested that at least it was something to keep him busy and to myself thought that it was perhaps an autism trait as he is on the spectrum. I replied that what is on the internet has to be inputed data and unless one has done something notable then it is not likely that there would be much information about someone especially from generations ago. She then cited all the places to get information but these are very limited sources and again the farther back one goes the more limited they become. She said that her husband is also very interested in the subject and that when they went to Cleveland, Ohio they found the steet and the house where his grandmother had lived. Oh excitement. I replied "That's cool" trying to be friendly in a tense situation and that ended the converstation. No reply back. My sister is quick to annoy and anger.
This is just another example, as I have mentioned in my comments in other posts, where I am the odd one out. Where one of my family members seemed to have become upset or even dismissed me when I was not in agreement with them on a topic.
I don't get this fascination with other people. I, as a rule, don't gossip. I just don't care about the lives of others unless I can help them in some way. We all are born, we live our lives through easy and hard times, we all have our sorrows and our joys then we die end of story. Our ancestors lived that is why we are here. For me there is nothing more of interest and certainly nothing that would make me spend time and energy on. Did you know this about so and so? I don't care.
I can accept that geneology is of interest to my family. I don't understand the interest but I can accept it. I can't understand the hostility.
For myself I prefer objects over people. I like antiques. I like the history of things. I like the unusual. I like the craftmanship. The creativity. On the many Autism tests I have taken this was one of the questions: Do you prefer people or things? Perhaps it was worded differently but that was the gist of the question. Everytime it was things. Things over people.
I am tired of the hostility because I am different. I am tired of being "other" and not accepted as being of the same value as the next person because I am not like someone or "everybody" else. I am tired of the judgement. I am tired of others opinions of my "shoulds". And I am sad because again there is strife in my family over something so insignificant which has put up a barrier again in a relationship.