Analytical Aspie or Emotional Aspie?

[Maelstrom]

Oh lordie.
I read that Aspie men aren't emotional. Now I'm confused again!

Hi you have my sympathies Nurseangela, there are two basic problems with this question, (who), and (which are you?). With (who), a host of irregular brain development combinations are being dumped in the same bucket, it's like pigeon holing a personality there are always secondary traits which may conflict. On, (which), it can be either or both depending on situation. My default thinking mode is sitting on my iron throne of logic. I will say, "pawn to bishop 3", and a poor NT will start hopping around pulling their hair out, and I'll go "what? that was totally obvious". Mean while their decapitated sacred cow is bleeding out in the ditch. If I step into relationship mode I can be warm and loving whatever...But if stress begins to climb, the emotion begins to drain, like water from a Japanese nuclear reactor..and I get blanker and blanker..until it runs dry and...BOOM! Fortunately I'm H/F so someone has to try hard to push me over the edge. My mother did it to me once at a wedding, just kept picking at me breaking my mental balance, while I was struggling to deal with all the strange people and stuff. Not good! I hope this helps some.

 

[On the Inside]

Unless he cut off the following first bit:

Harrison: "You're kinda cute. Smart, too. Interested?"
Girl: "I'm an Aspie. Sure, let's try it."
Harrison: "Really? Me, too."
Girl: [Silence]
Harrison: [Silence]

The secret is what's happening during that long silence.

 

[Harrison]

The secret is what's happening during that long silence.

I never tell, sir

 

[On the Inside]

Mean while their decapitated sacred cow is bleeding out in the ditch. If I step into relationship mode I can be warm and loving whatever...But if stress begins to climb, the emotion begins to drain, like water from a Japanese nuclear reactor..and I get blanker and blanker..until it runs dry and...BOOM!

Well put Maelstrom. I think I've inadvertently sacrificed a few sacred cows in my time. How was I to know?

Stress is my biggest trigger, and the worst comes from the interrogations, I mean conversations around feelings and emotions so prevalent in relationships.

 

[Grumpy Cat]

Mean while their decapitated sacred cow is bleeding out in the ditch.

Huh? I had to deal with a dead horse in the "How many Aspies does it take to screw in a lightbulb" thread and now a decapitated cow. WTH?!

 

[On the Inside]

Sorry, nurseangela. We Aspies are known for our strange relationship with metaphor.

I'll have to check out that light bulb thread.

 

[Maelstrom]

I had a short relationship with an aspie not long ago, too short to really count it (so I don't). We brought out the logic in each other is the best way to describe it.Our break up went like this -

Her - 'I really don't think this is working'
Me - 'You have evidence of this?
Her - 'Of course'
Me - 'I see, so there is no point in arguing against your evidence?'
Her - 'No, it is well grounded'
Me - 'OK, I'll see you to the door'

Hi well you are more trusting than me, I would have called her out on her evidence, made her put it on the table, dissected said evidence thoroughly. Then I would have pronounce judgement on weather she was incorrect, and being silly, and should stay with me. At which point she would be so angry with me, she would dump me anyways, even if I was right. And that is how I manage to stay single (sigh!)

Your way of losing the girl, is more efficient but less satisfying.

 

[Harrison]

At which point she would be so angry with me, she would dump me anyways, even if I was right.

Yep, I pre-empted that bit. It's why we're both single

 

[On the Inside]

Yep, I pre-empted that bit. It's why we're both single

Ah, that is what I'm after here, the ability to keep things calm and rational. Yet this says that either way, the end result is the same. We're doomed.

 

[Maelstrom]

Ah, that is what I'm after here, the ability to keep things calm and rational. Yet this says that either way, the end result is the same. We're doomed.

Well as long as we're not dead, we can still keep looking for that lovely mutant girl, who thinks our minds are beautifully correct. Don't have much else better to do with my time anyways. Ha ha!

Or we could start trolling insane asylems

 

[Harrison]

Well as long as we're not dead, we can still keep looking for that lovely mutant girl, who thinks our minds are beautifully correct. Don't have much else better to do with my time anyways. Ha ha!

Or we could start trolling insane asylems

Trolling is about our only chance. I mean, we are on an aspie forum where the males are outnumbered by single aspie females. Has anyone said to you 'Maelstrom dude, you seem pretty cool, want to make aspie babies?'

We are lost bro, lost.

 

[On the Inside]

We're outnumbered? All is lost, all is lost.

 

[Maelstrom]

Trolling is about our only chance. I mean, we are on an aspie forum where the males are outnumbered by single aspie females. Has anyone said to you 'Maelstrom dude, you seem pretty cool, want to make aspie babies?'

We are lost bro, lost.

Well um, I'm actually am being pursued quite heavily by at least one at the moment. I'm not sure on the logic about being out numbered. In my book being the center of a cat fight, is good. Perhaps more posts with chocolates and kittens in them will attract the butterflies. All women seem to have their lists, is he good with kids, romantic, manly, $$$$. I'm in the same boat as you guys, just have to polish up the best you can, bait the hook and toss it in the water, and hope she bites. The willingness to marry down increases with age. But mercy and tolerance maybe more important than NT or Aspie. So I think charm her, but, put it all on the table and see if she runs.
I don't know I'm no expert what do you think?

 

[Aspergirl4hire]

[...
If anything what it is to be Aspie is to frequently be at odds with one's self. Better to identify that dynamic first and foremost, rather than to make any conditional assumptions such as we're exclusively logical, and never lie.[/QUOTE]

"Do I contradict myself? I contain multitudes."--Walt Whitman.

I don't feel at odds with myself, as often as I feel at odds with who I'm expected to be. I get hurt most often, and hurt others most often, when I have to drop the mask I wear so well for such a limited time every day. Transitions. It's a bit like being a steampunk werewolf: the period of change is the most dangerous, but when fully wolf or fully human, it's easier to be predictable. (The reference is from the novel "Changeless." Fun read, if you like steampunk.)

 

[On the Inside]

Well, Maelstrom, I'm not currently looking, but I will say it is important to be honest with where you're at. At least as far as you know.

My current relationship started at a time when I was unrealistic about my self confidence in life and relationships. Partly from naivete, inexperience, and not knowing I was Aspie. I was pretty sheltered while I went through a 6 year monk stage following a divorce. It has been a long journey of self discovery in terms of the self relating to others, society, education and work. There have been a lot of hard knock lessons and a lot of pain given and received.

Good luck in your endeavors.

 

[Maelstrom]

Well, I'm not looking, but I will say it is important to be honest with where you're at. At least as far as you know.

My current relationship started at a time when I was unrealistic about my self confidence in life and relationships. Partly from naivete, inexperience, and not knowing I was Aspie. It has been a long journey of self discovery in terms of the self relating to others, society, education and work. There have been a lot of hard knock lessons and a lot of pain given and received.

Hi I know how you feel, I often wonder if I should have done more of this or that, but am not sure I was ready at the time. Who knows how bad things would have turned out, and weather I would have survived. Some of this stuff, you just have to toss it into the water under the bridge category, and try to learn and move on. Maybe next will be better, as I'm a little wiser. (fingers crossed)
You go mad if you think on regrets too much.

 

[clg114]

Analytical or emotional? For me it's a split decision. If it involves my family, it's emotional. Everything else, it's analytical, because that is how my mind works. The only thing that interferes with that type of thought train is love. It's been like that for me for a very long time. I like things that stay the same.

 

[Ylva]

I guess it comes down to that old sliding scale again

Speaking of sliding scales, I keep thinking every possible trait is a "spectrum". And most people would fall in the average range, because duh, but there will always be some who score high on, say, logic, and low on, say, emotional "intelligence", and can fall anywhere on the "social instincts" spectrum. Even if most aspies prefer logic, it doesn't mean that most logical people are aspies. In fact I would hope not, because if less than two percent of the population prefer logic we really are doomed.

That was just a freight car from a train of thought elicited by the quoted comment, not a lecture directed at Spiller or anything.

 

[Heissonear]

Angie, I keep seeing you post things about Aspies in such absolute, conditional terms. The reality is that we are a jumble of contradictions. You're looking for logic and consistency where quite often there is none.

Perhaps our contradictions are one of the few consistencies about us in general.

And yes, more often than not it can make life hell for us.

Well stated - I think many refer Aspie behavioral characteristics in black and white, which from my understanding is untrue. We have select traits that appear dominant in most circumstance, but show colors rather than only black or white Aspie.

 

[Ylva]

When I tried to be purely analytical it ended up in WWIV (gave up on that)

What Would I Verify?

Her - 'I really don't think this is working'
Me - 'You have evidence of this?
Her - 'Of course'
Me - 'I see, so there is no point in arguing against your evidence?'
Her - 'No, it is well grounded'
Me - 'OK, I'll see you to the door'

Him: Is there anything I can say to make you stay?
Me: If I already knew of an argument that could change my mind, my mind would already be changed by it.

I found the same problem, and being visual as well, starting charting ways out of the pattern. If I could find an exit in a diagram, I could apply it to myself. Just an idea. May not work for everybody

I grew tired of journalling because of all the sentences. Eventually I took it up again just using keywords. Writing is like speaking with my hands, but too many repeating phrases and my throat feels exhausted whether I wrote or spoke.