advice for getting child to clean room

[Ylva]

Clicked on this thread ready to say:

"Clean your room" is too broad. Give him more specific tasks.

But I see you already thought of that.

Maybe you can make it into a practice, if he likes that sort of thing. "Let's practice sorting books", "how about we practice dusting?" etc. When I was six or seven it even beat pretending to be Cinderella.

 

[Dias]

My experience is quite the opposite.
Due to personal traits or necessity (don't know, maybe both) I started doing the cleaning of the house mostly alone by the age of 12. But I didn't do it because I needed cleanliness so much but because I saw it has being entertaining...also keeping things in order on the outside made me feel safe and with a sense of stability and order which I do appreciate and need. If my mind is chaotic but the outside is in order I feel like not everything is lost somehow...there is still hope and a bit of sense of normality.
What I do now is more out of practical reasons: I just don't have time for big cleanings, so what I do is to keep everything always in the right place and don't change anything, this way I don't waste time looking for things or cleaning. Everything is always tidy even if I am having a big crises. It actually serves as a therapy to me when I clean.
But I never raised a child so I have no idea what you are going through. Maybe you can tell him as an incentive that if he keeps is room tidy everyday he will never need to waste an afternoon on cleaning it, half an hour is enough.
Works with me

 

[ZebraAutismo]

Social stories, tick lists and labeled box’s could help it seem like a more manageable task.

 

[Fino]

I dont know if these suggestions are any good or have been said already but things that would help me are:
1. Being told where to keep each thing every time, that's where it goes forever and always because that's its spot.
2. Being told why this matters. Even if its just, "it makes mommy happy" but whatever other reasons could be good too.
3. A star/sticker/something every day that ends with it clean or something along those lines, with a total number of them resulting in something. The gradual build-up of that is my life.

 

[Adora]

From my own experience of when I was a kid patience is key,he may find cleaning overwhelming and so just doing bits at a time will help stop it from being too much for him,disorganisation is something that can be hard to deal with since even now as a adult I struggle with this so maybe focusing on helping with just keeping things in certain places might help,also agree what others have said here make it fun for him because if you enjoy something you will more likely keep doing it.

 

[mw2530]

Reward him. For each, say, 5 to 10 things he puts away or however many you think would be a decent amount, you'll give him something in return, such as a cookie or change for candy from the store or what have you.

A cleaning chart of some sort might help as well, with visuals if he's unable to read big sentence structures and the like yet.

Wow, brilliant advice. Great ideas.

 

[Catalyst]

Keep up helping him clean, but do it ritualistically, and he's more likely to get it. Like, if he has clothes on the floor, have him pick up from the top of his body down... Hats, shirts, gloves, pants, socks, shoes. Then move on to toys by where they go. That sort of thing. Try to have him clean the room a similar way every time. And have him clean his room either the same day and/or same time each day. Some people have mentioned checklists, especially with pictures and magnets or velcro. This is an excellent idea. He can start at the top of the list and work his way down. This gives him a plan to follow. Many autistics have executive dysfunction, and that can make planning out a strategy for things like cleaning a space more difficult, if not close to impossible without help.

 

[Progster]

I think that if I had kids, I would only have 2 rules for keeping the bedroom tidy:

No stuff in the middle of the floor (because you or someone else might trip over it or stand on it)
No uneaten perishible foods left lying around, such as sandwiches. Used plates, glasses or coffee mugs must be gathered up and taken to the kitchen once a day (for hygiene purposes).

 

[inkfingers]

You son sounds just like me when I was a kid. I could not put away my laundry without a load of angst and anxiety. If my room was a mess, it stayed a mess until my mom helped me sort it out.

I'm not saying this is your son's problem, but in my experience, I was just overwhelmed with the array of tasks that needed to be completed. Separating "clean the room" into, pick up dirty clothes, put them in the hamper. Pick up clean clothes, put them on your bed, fold them, put them in the dresser... etc.. is very helpful. I think that just breaking each task down into small steps will help a lot.

It may take time before he is able to do this by himself, so just be patient and understanding and he will get there

 

[selectivedetective]

Have to comment on @UberScout and @TheFreeCat before I read any further and forget.

@TheFreeCat I love the bonding experience idea. How nice to make it a game rather than a chore.

@UberScout I like the music idea and use it sometimes. I also like the idea of guessing what has been put away. May try that one.

My two share a room that is very small, so tidying has to happen quite regularly. I tend to give them a type of clearing each, to take responsibility for, when we start tidying. So one will put any rubbish in the bin, the other may pick up any pens or writing things. Then I will guess how many dirty socks they will find, and they will go looking for them underneath things. Etc etc. Sometimes their time limit is a particular song, sometimes they set an alarm for a few minutes. It really helps to have a time limit as otherwise... well... you know what we are like. I will go back and they will be daydreaming or side tracked.

 

[UberScout]

The important thing is, dont force it and dont rush it; forcing it will stress them out, and rushing it will...well, stress them out. Not that you are or would, but there are "strict" people who might read that and say something like "well, you want them to take it seriously, let them know its not some kind of game" or something.