Hi Savvy, sorry to hear about your situation, it really is so tough when you love someone. It's hard when there can't be a conversation to talk things through, and you have questions unanswered.
Things have changed here but sadly not for the better. He has been diagnosed with depression and has started talking antdepresants. This l think began around 7 weeks ago, l could feel him withdrawing from me, less contact and no mention of us as a couple, no more telling me he loves me which he used to do alot. He always wanted to Skype when we wernt together and very loving messages and chats. He is not in a very good place and l have had to back off because it is eating me away inside. Not sleeping, feel physically sick to stomach, constantly on the verge of tears, living on my nerves. It feels like he has no clue this is devestating for me. I have been there for him 100%, tell him l love him, am here for him and am not going anywhere. Im giving him space because l can see he need it to come through this. I have nothing back, just messages/ chat about anything but our relationship. I told him l loved him a few weeks back to hes face and he couldnt answer me, he said that he cant feel anything right now and just knows he loves me and wants me around. He has stopped coming to visit me though, l saw him 2 weeks ago, had a nice day together but could see he was down and he was on the verge of tears a few times. He was supost to come down last week after work but said the traffic was so bad, it was stressing him out too much so he drove home, he called me to let me know. Other contact is just him telling me what he's been doing and that he's not feeling good, he's very down. I haven't told him how l feel and what I'm going through because I know he has to get better on he's own and won't be able to handle my feelings on top. I think that would completely push him away. I feel like l am just in limbo. I want to be there for him but at the same time when l don't get anything back, not even a glimmer of hope he still cares and sees a future for us lm thinking l can't. I know this isnt about me, him getting depressed, its not hes fault and l hope he comes through it well. It's a horrible situation and l love him so much, seeing how much things have changed is heart breaking. I was thinking about calling him this weekend to have a conversation about if he can see me in he's future, then l stop myself and think if he did l would know already. What's worse is we work at the same place, l see him everyday, no-one knows we are together we have kept work very separate. We say hello but its not an option to chat there anyway. It's the hardest thing seeing him there and not seeing him now out of work like we used to. It will be very tough if we completely go our separate ways but I'm sure in time it will get easier.
I hope things get easier for you and you get peace of mind away from this emotional rollercoaster.
