• Welcome to Autism Forums, a friendly forum to discuss Aspergers Syndrome, Autism, High Functioning Autism and related conditions.

    Your voice is missing! You will need to register to get access to the following site features:
    • Reply to discussions and create your own threads.
    • Our modern chat room. No add-ons or extensions required, just login and start chatting!
    • Private Member only forums for more serious discussions that you may wish to not have guests or search engines access to.
    • Your very own blog. Write about anything you like on your own individual blog.

    We hope to see you as a part of our community soon! Please also check us out @ https://www.twitter.com/aspiescentral

ABA Therapy?

Back on topic, here's a dog trainer who takes issue with comparing ABA to dog training:

Is ABA Really “Dog Training for Children”? A Professional Dog Trainer Weighs In.

An excerpt :

Why is there such a disconnect?

Some of it has to do with a breakdown in the way autism is perceived. Non-autistic people believe that “normalcy” is a fundamental need; indeed, a stated goal of ABA is to make the autistic child “indistinguishable from [neurotypical] peers.”

They think a child who blends into the crowd is a happy child.

When parents see their child engaging in unusual behaviours such as flapping, or ignoring other children, they see a child who is ill or damaged.

When they see that child talking and working well at their desk and playing with other children, they see a child who has been healed. Helped. Saved.

If only they would listen to the autistic adults who are trying to tell them that this is not necessarily the case. Because in reality, a happy autistic person may not look neurotypical.

Knowing how to stack blocks or how to suppress essential means of regulation and expression (such as flapping) doesn’t make an autistic person “happier.” Often, in fact, it makes them less happy.

When you are autistic, talking can be exhausting. Even if you are extremely verbal like I am – adults praised my precocious vocabulary as a child, and I have often been called a “chatterbox” – vocal speech is draining. My well of words may be deeper than that of most other autistic people, but it is not bottomless.
 
If it's neither traumatizing nor dehumanizing then it's not ABA. You already expressed that you understood there was something apart from "reward-based", and even that is dehumanizing. Now you say that all you did was explain NT culture to her in a way she could understand. So, all that is left is to congratulate you on successfully executed insurance fraud, and asking you to please stop advertising it as ABA.

Ylva your comments are hurting my feelings. I know this is the Internet and I'm supposed to wear big girl knickers but I truly do not have the energy at this point in my life not to be completely straight with people.

I do take note of your opinion though. You think ABA is not a good form of therapy and that there is no version out there that is acceptable.
 
An excerpt :

Why is there such a disconnect?

Some of it has to do with a breakdown in the way autism is perceived. Non-autistic people believe that “normalcy” is a fundamental need; indeed, a stated goal of ABA is to make the autistic child “indistinguishable from [neurotypical] peers.”

They think a child who blends into the crowd is a happy child.

When parents see their child engaging in unusual behaviours such as flapping, or ignoring other children, they see a child who is ill or damaged.

When they see that child talking and working well at their desk and playing with other children, they see a child who has been healed. Helped. Saved.

If only they would listen to the autistic adults who are trying to tell them that this is not necessarily the case. Because in reality, a happy autistic person may not look neurotypical.

Knowing how to stack blocks or how to suppress essential means of regulation and expression (such as flapping) doesn’t make an autistic person “happier.” Often, in fact, it makes them less happy.

When you are autistic, talking can be exhausting. Even if you are extremely verbal like I am – adults praised my precocious vocabulary as a child, and I have often been called a “chatterbox” – vocal speech is draining. My well of words may be deeper than that of most other autistic people, but it is not bottomless.

Okay, I see what you mean. I understand now what is meant by forcing change or masking. Thanks for the explanation.
 
Ylva your comments are hurting my feelings. I know this is the Internet and I'm supposed to wear big girl knickers but I truly do not have the energy at this point in my life not to be completely straight with people.

I do take note of your opinion though. You think ABA is not a good form of therapy and that there is no version out there that is acceptable.

Hey Vatblack,

I don't think anyone doubts your good intentions.

ABA is a polarising issue around here. In the sense nearly all are against it :)

Often made worse by very different approaches in communication.

Please don't take it to heart.
 
It is perfectly understandable, even laudable for a parent to want to help their child overcome adversity. A parent who ignores the stress of their child would be negligent.

There is a great divide at the moment between many NT parents of autistic kids and the autistic adults who lived through the various treatments, therapies, diets, special education and interventions that were embarked upon with good intentions.

Let me explain a little about what we mean by masking. Many allistic people think they know what masking is, in fact they often say to us "Oh I do that, I wear masks. I don't act the same at work as I do with my mates..."
That's not masking. Masking is far deeper than knowing to mind your Ps & Qs when the vicar or the boss is around. It's a fundamental shift in character which is extremely draining to sustain and is totally alien to our inherent nature.

I'll try to illustrate with a thought experiment. Often we'll say that being autistic can feel like being a foreigner in your own home country.

If you moved to a different country you might learn the language, make an effort to understand the customs and the social structure of their society. You could fit in reasonably well, have a job, a life, maybe even marry a local and have kids there.
You would make mistakes. You would sometimes use the wrong words, maybe offend someone by mistake because you didn't understand the customs or the social order as well as a local, but generally people would forgive you because you're foreign and you'll learn better for next time.
That is not masking. That's the dream life most autistic people wish they had. To do the best we can to fit in to a foreign culture and learn it's ways and be accepted. Being forgiven for our differences, maybe even appreciated for our different perspective.

Now let's take it a step further. This time you wake up in a foreign country with no idea how you got there or where you came from. You have amnesia, but you know this isn't where you belong. You have have to go unnoticed because foreigners are not welcome there. You must learn the language, the customs, the history of the place. You must perfect your accent and your backstory so that nobody you meet will suspect you are not one of them and you must do this all day at work, whenever you meet anyone in the street, whenever you socialise, go to church - everything. If you don't manage to convince people you will be an outcast for no fault of your own - you didn't choose to come to this intolerant, xenophobic place, but you don't know where you came from to return there.
That is masking. Hiding your true nature by pretending to be someone you are not - a foreigner who doesn't understand much of what is going on around them, but who has learned how to get by without drawing attention.

True ABA (and all it's "benign" derivatives) trains children to mask their true selves at severe cost to their well being. Pretending to be something you are not is tremendously exhausting mentally and emotionally. Holding our tongues when we have something to say, trying not to laugh when we find something funny, keeping still when we need to stim to calm ourselves or stimulate our thoughts, in case someone should stare at us and think us weird.

What you appear to be describing - teaching your child about cause and effect, how their actions could bring about adverse reactions is not remotely related to ABA. ABA is not concerned with explaining why, nor does it care about the child's need to express it's own natural identity in safe ways. It merely seeks to change. Success is measured by how "normal" the child appears, not by how happy they are, nor their use of their potential. It is a therapy for parents who don't want their children to look out of place, not for parents who want their autistic children to live happy, fulfilled lives. ABA does not seek to manage unhelpful behaviours, it seeks to alter the child.

There's an increasing number of "schools" and "programmes" describing themselves as using ABA who do nothing of the sort. They claim to offer ABA because it gets funding, whether from private insurers or government funds, depending on where you live. These have varied from positive programmes which seek to help kids by helping them learn how some behaviours could lead to them being hurt without trying to alter their nature, to full-on military style bootcamps. If they call it ABA they get paid, and since it is so under regulated they get away with it.
This is a good thing if it's a system that work like the first example, but such entities are rare. If you found one of these then you were very fortunate, and your daughter even more so.

There is no such thing as good or kind ABA and no loving parent would subject their child to it if they understood the consequences. Unfortunately many are unwilling to listen to the voices of autistic adults who were just the same as their kids not so long ago.
You have shown willingness to listen and I hope we've helped you to understand that ABA is not what you and your daughter have experienced. I am both relieved and happy that turned out to be the case after the initial shock at your earlier post.
True acceptance of autism and neurodiversity requires working to change the world into a place more tolerant of difference, not erasing the differences, which you seem to appreciate.
 
Last edited:
There is a great divide at the moment between many NT parents of autistic kids and the autistic adults who lived through the various treatments, therapies, diets, special education and interventions that were embarked upon with good intentions.

True ABA (and all it's "benign" derivatives) trains children to mask their true selves at severe cost to their well being. Pretending to be something you are not is tremendously exhausting mentally and emotionally. Holding our tongues when we have something to say, trying not to laugh when we find something funny, keeping still when we need to stim to calm ourselves or stimulate our thoughts, in case someone should stare at us and think us weird.

What you appear to be describing - teaching your child about cause and effect, how their actions could bring about adverse reactions is not remotely related to ABA. ABA is not concerned with explaining why, nor does it care about the child's need to express it's own natural identity in safe ways. It merely seeks to change. Success is measured by how "normal" the child appears, not by how happy they are, nor their use of their potential. It is a therapy for parents who don't want their children to look out of place, not for parents who want their autistic children to live happy, fulfilled lives. ABA does not seek to manage unhelpful behaviours, it seeks to alter the child.

If they call it ABA they get paid, and since it is so under regulated they get away with it.
This is a good thing if it's a system that work like the first example, but such entities are rare. If you found one of these then you were very fortunate, and your daughter even more so.

True acceptance of autism and neurodiversity requires working to change the world into a place more tolerant of difference, not erasing the differences, which you seem to appreciate.

This is a very concise response. Thanks.

Okay, I would not want to change my child's personality at all. In my opinion, autism is just a personality trait but I do feel I need to be an interpreter for her when it is needed. I have also noticed that many things that I was concerned about changes naturally as she gets older and apart from seeing a psychotherapist once a week and a psychiatrist once every 4 months, we do not pursue any therapies any more. We've got her to notice danger, we've got her to understand how routine is important and how to watch her p's and q's as you call it. I am still very concerned about the teenage years and I am strongly, strongly, strongly considering homeschooling for the mean girl stages of middle and high school. I'd rather her develop independently of bullying by NTs if I can help it. After reading some posts here, I am even more worried about this.

A few comments on the bolded stuff:
- I was oblivious of this divide till now. :)
- I can imagine how exhausting it must be to pretend to be different but I guess I'll never understand fully.
- If "normalcy" is the true intent of ABA, then no, I don't agree with it. But I must say, that there are other therapies that also try to make kids appear normal that is not labeled ABA. I hated when they tried to make my daughter sit still or not to stim. Unfortunately, her favorite form is stimming is to pinch me repeatedly on the fatty parts of my arms. I used to black and blue all the time when she was little until she learned to stim in other ways. But when she is having an "epic" meltdown, I allow her to gently knead my arms still.
- In my experience insurances do not pay for ABA. I had to pay out of pocket. It is interesting that there are states/countries where that is the opposite.
- The true acceptance quote - Yes!

Okay, I think I got a good education here. Thanks everyone for weighing in and explaining explaining explaining.

OP, sorry for highjacking your post. I hope that it helped you make up your mind though.
 

New Threads

Top Bottom