tired

i'm so tired of trying to interact with people and it ending up with either my outlook/actions/thoughts being wrong, it repeatedly gets to the point i don't want to try anymore and feel like crying. no wonder i dont want a job, i'm trying to save some money from what the government gives me to buy things to occupy my time, i want to make things but drawing takes practice which stupidly is disheartening when you get it 'wrong'

every time i end y thinking i need to stop trying to interact with people i feel frustrated (and hot/slightly itchy for some reason) feeling the need to throw things around and trash something (maybe so something i do actually has the desired result) i don't know what i can do and typing this feels like one more futile call for help, i can do nothing that i need to do in life on my own and its depressing as all hell i feel like a toddler always needing a guiding hand because neither my mind or body work. i hate this