What I mean is that I am not in the right mental state to face the world. I'm not entirely ready for situations that can happen in the world. This isn't self-deprecation. Just self-realization.
I am not pleased by this, but I need to also remember this till I am ready. Same with my foggy, lost mind set. I need to tell myself that I am allowing my step-mother to win when I am list and in a low period. I despise her, but she obviously does back. What else explains her wanting me to be shipped away 80+ miles away. It wasn't for my benefit. It was for her's.
But I need to temper my anger with resolve. My emotions need to be let out. However I cannot be a child about it. Just freeing myself is all it is. Not a tantrum. There is no justification for a tantrum.
I'm not ready, yet.
But I will be.
How soon?
I don't know...
It maybe some time yet...
But it will happen...
I know it will.
I cannot go back to ignorance after the changes I've made in my life. That is not possible. Not anymore. It's too uncomfortable to live in that misery cycle. To live in a mind full of fog and confusion.
I am not pleased by this, but I need to also remember this till I am ready. Same with my foggy, lost mind set. I need to tell myself that I am allowing my step-mother to win when I am list and in a low period. I despise her, but she obviously does back. What else explains her wanting me to be shipped away 80+ miles away. It wasn't for my benefit. It was for her's.
But I need to temper my anger with resolve. My emotions need to be let out. However I cannot be a child about it. Just freeing myself is all it is. Not a tantrum. There is no justification for a tantrum.
I'm not ready, yet.
But I will be.
How soon?
I don't know...
It maybe some time yet...
But it will happen...
I know it will.
I cannot go back to ignorance after the changes I've made in my life. That is not possible. Not anymore. It's too uncomfortable to live in that misery cycle. To live in a mind full of fog and confusion.
