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Confused and Kind of Upset?

By catdog55616 · May 25, 2019 · ·
  1. I don't believe my current therapist is working out for me. I'm supposed to trust him, but I don't. I haven't trusted the previous one either. My only question is, how long will it take, and what will it take for me to trust them? Trust seems to be an issue with me, even with ordinary stuff like what music I listen to. There doesn't seem to be any other therapists close enough to drive biweekly to, and that doesn't even cover the cost of the actual session. But, back to trust though. Do other people have issues trusting people? I have a difficult time believing that other people aren't out to get me in some way. I avoid going out around town in fear of seeing someone I know goes to school with me. I don't share things easily with people, and if I do, I only give different people different bits and pieces of things, so they don't know the full "story". I don't like it when people know things about me, really. I would talk with someone about this, but, you know. But better-ish news! I got Minecraft, but my laptop is a bit too slow to run it properly.


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  1. Splatypus
    I work in mental health, and have also been through therapy myself, so I thought I'd speak up. First of all, not all therapists are created equal (some do really suck!) and even beyond that, each one has their own personality, strengths and weaknesses, and general approach to things. Finding the right therapist (instead of just a "good" therapist) is a bit like dating: You have to go and meet a few options before finding "the one" for you. Sometimes two people can both be great people, but they just don't "click." And if you can find one that "clicks," you'll find it much easier to trust. But I hear you that there don't seem to be many options nearby. You could try finding an online therapist, such as by using the search feature on https://www.psychologytoday.com/us . However, with whomever you choose to go with, please be aware that we are very accustomed to working with people with trust issues, so it won't be any issue at all for you to simply say "I have trust issues, and will not be able to open up very quickly at all for a very long time, if ever." A good therapist will then GUIDE you into opening up and trusting, pushing your boundaries just a tiny bit at a time, rather than forcing you to move too fast or getting frustrated with you. Be sure to stand up for yourself and speak up if they are asking too much of you and making you uncomfortable. There's a very real chance they didn't realize they were being too demanding, and should appreciate your feedback. Also, you may want to spend some time pondering what things would help you trust, or what kind of things you'd be willing to start with, so you can inform the therapist and take charge of your own trust pace. For me, I initially told my therapist I wanted to learn about my disorder and coping skills, but not discuss anything else. It let me get used to talking to her before talking about anything personal.
      catdog55616 likes this.
    1. catdog55616
      This was a very helpful and informative message to come back to after so long! I'll check out the website when I have a minute!
  2. tree
    You might talk with someone about not feeling you can
    trust people, but then that someone would "know things"
    about you, and you'd have to trust that person in the first
    place to discuss the subject.....

    There are other people who have issues trusting people,
    of course. Typically a person who doesn't trust is thinking
    there are reasons to not trust. The particular reasons vary
    from person to person. In general, it's the idea that once
    someone "knows" you, that person will have power over
      catdog55616 likes this.