Aspies, Passions, Obsessions & Money.

Let's preface it by with the fact that I don't want any obligations, therefore I do not want pets, children and I could do without a lot of stuff that needs finances to maintain. A lot of stuff I use, have and own is fine stuff qualitywise and I'll use it until it's not useable anymore. Chances are that I'd rather buy a car that cost me a few hundred bucks even if that would mean that within a year I'd have to buy a new one... at least I haven't spent a dime on repairs. But... I don't have a license as such, so the car doesn't even come near my realisation.

Perhaps I'm quite nihilistic in that way. Earlier today... the zipper of my pants broke. I could maintain my pants, fix them (or let them get fixed) or just not invest in it and not have this pair of pants anymore. Chances are it's the latter and I'll just settle with less pairs of pants. In my reasoning... I'd go outside without pants even. It's not MY problem there is a law that requires me to wear pants (or at least cover myself up). If they want me to wear pants... supply them. Yes, this is ridiculous... but I know a fair share of people ON the spectrum (in person even) that think like this. They'll just stay in for a bit more.

I'm halfway the category of this so called "self-harm" I guess. I'm not in denial, I have perfect reasoning and "back-up" by professionals. Therapists in the past told me to immerse myself in stuff. That's getting more out of life than being drugged up on anti-depressants and the like. Mind you, I said "halfway" since I can still afford groceries and stuff, but a fair share of money goes on to keeping me busy and not doing stupid things to myself OR others. To make it worse... my way of dealing with his is actually CHEAPER than getting professional help that way. That's an interesting situation. From personal situation, my girlfriends meds cost her more than the budget I spend on my hobbies. And then add in, in her case... she even has hobbies (and due to circumstances a lot of spare time) on top.

With all the questions you pose I have an interesting counter.. argument or question... something like that... might not really find the right word for it. Anyway;

Considering you adressed "being a working adult", what if I'm not a working adult and I'm on benefits because I have a medical record that clearly shows "barely employable on a regular basis". Would that mean that I should deny myself (since others will clearly not help me out) personal growth, aspirations, opportunities and whatever you have? Or is it someone else's task, like the government?

I'm quite sure that with the stuff I do and spend money on... and to some "flounder", it's all put to good use and not neccesarily to get a big collection of X. Is a book "floundering"? What about a computer? A guitar? Clearly I'm not employable on a regular basis because of a medical record and as such there are people that have been in this category for over 10 years (and some aren't even medically held back so to say, but just that jobs and laws make it "hard" for them to get a job). On a lifetime, sticking your time and money more wisely for a few months is nothing, but if that's a long term outlook, things tend to shift a bit in my humble opinion. Clearly there can be an argument about "elitism" and that those people got the wrong part of the deal, but that argument is outright silly (again, in my humble opinion).

I'm all for people adressing this sort of "self-harm", but with that there should be support for this, that's affordable, to even consider this worthy of support. If I hit "rock bottom" as in "I can't withdraw money from the ATM", then I can't spend any more. That by itself is fine. But what if... just what if... I tend to steal or even rob people for money, because I feel that to maintain my mental stability to not involve myself in worse acts than stealing and robbing is an overlooked issue. If I look for support I get either financial or mental support, not both... but both are the issue. On a related note, that's how I feel that support for addicts is similarly bad. I don't believe in going cold turkey and that's all... I'm quite sure that with the time left I'd have to fill it with something else, and if I don't have the qualifications to get employed OR the interest for something else... that leaves a big gap of "nothing". Result; relapse. And to be honest I feel that with people on the spectrum it's worse because we in general have really strong interests and we'll do anything to get out "fix". Also; an interest as such isn't damaging when using like alcohol, and therefore it's not really seen as an "addiction". Apparently it's only abuse if you're suffering from it before, during and after... financial issues usually only occur after.

Soup;bt1273 said:

We cannot force a person with a severe mental illness to medicate himself halfway to death so he can crawl to a minimum wage job that is killing him.

Click to expand...

This is pretty much something I adressed about 10 months ago at the social services in terms of that I need support in a variety of ways before I can even consider a job as a priority. But to them it was "the way it works". It's silly when governments and support centers (that in my opinion both are in service of the citizens, not the other way around) apply bureaucratic rules and no apparent logic there. Yes, you're providing a decent set of rules everyone should work with, but with modern dynamics, those rules can and will not work for everyone equally.

Even though I'm one of those that, in my country benefits from a priviledge to visit concerts on government money, I do agree though. I don't think it should be limited to just those on support. However, the ruling here is; I can file for about 100 euro yearly for cultural activities. The criteria you have to adhere to is that you have to collect welfare checks which are 50% of minimumwage... there's a bit of leeway for people who have a small job, they can make 110% of the 50%... so 55% of minimum wage. That's the only time you're eligible for that "extra". For me it sounds fair, since I still have way less than anyone having ANY fulltime job since there's laws about minimumwage (which isn't true for every country globally speaking)

As for people abusing the system... that's what happens. Social services' money will get people to commit "crimes" and fraud already. And the way they're putting up new regulations and rules to make it even harder to even file for services only punishes the ones who don't have bad intentions. It's a thing that bothers me personally. Having everything legally sorted out for them is fine, but having measures that are there so people don't go "oh, hey... let's see if we can abuse the system, because we feel we're entitled to more and we want more money for more luxury" is a problem that you wont change by more rules... it's a mentality problem.

I read this article. Indeed, I'm in denial. I'm an overgrown teenager and I am 22 currently, and indeed, I really live in denial.

I confess, I collect sneakers and baseball hats. I'm fortunate I choose not to have a girlfriend and a family, and my family really likes me sharing the sneakers with others. They even quite like the stories I tell to them, especially about who wears the sneakers, and the different achievements a certain team or player does, with the sneakers on their feet. But well, it's all baloney. I'm still living in denial.

I also confess: My parents do give me money for sneakers (and food, too) because I am their employee in their company, I work in my parents' firm as and when they need me. But what if...? I got to save for a rainy day.

I do pass on my sneakers to other family members and friends. However, I think I am spending too much on hats and shoes. They are not what I need in life.

With a better understanding of money, I hope to cut my spending on sneakers and hats, and start saving them for a real rainy day.

I thank you, Soup, for sharing with me your thoughts on spending.

I went down this path of spending way too much on collections. I am now in financial recovery.