Some regulars might have picked up on me being stressed out about an assessment I had going on with a psychologist from social services.
I had said appointment today and it was mildly amusing? and then some. Here?s some interesting highlights.
I got there sat down and he was all like ?so, what?s your problem??. My response ?take out a pen, take out paper, start writing.. and try to keep up!?. 90 minutes later he ran out of paper.
I took some tests including the BDI-II and the DISC, an ADHD questionnaire and some other test.
After that the final ?verdict?, which kinda took the cake.
He started off with the DISC results, which confused the f out of him. Generally speaking, I came across as a dominant extrovert with little to no interest to submit, comply or adapt at all. It confused him because that?s not what aspies are like according to him. Then I gave him a step by step walkthrough why I think this assessment actually is correct. And how his perception of the past 2 hours is totally off.
When I saw a therapist 2 years ago I was on the brink of being diagnosed with a narcissistic personality disorder (as well as some others) and I told him where it showed in what regards I?m actually extroverted, and in which regards I?m actually a pretty dominant person. Simply put I roll with a ?my way or the highway? attitude a lot, I?m not the person to collaborate with, and I?m a control freak to some extent that will go to some lengths to maintain control. That?s how I have narcissistic tendencies.
My history in a variety of things from school, to jobs to even hobby projects actually underlines all this. Example; When I was In a band in the 2004-ish era, I actually was the person who did almost everything in the band. It was pretty much ?my band? and the ones included were merely musicians to live shows to some extent. I wasn?t that extreme that I didn?t value input, but honestly, most of it was mine, and that?s how I like it.
I am inclined to say that it?s more of a control than an ?ego? thing though. I like to maintain some personal integrity and quality control on whatever my name is associated with.
Extrovertedness shows itself as an artist of sorts. I don?t compose music for myself, I don?t make art just for me. I create it to put out in the world? to share. I?m not that stuck up, lol. And I think my look kinda adds to it for not being a the quiet introvert that rather just remains hidden. I?m visibly present with my 6?2, 240+ pound frame, lol. And then comes some body modifications, long hair and the list goes on.
The non-conforming aspects are the ones I gladly attribute to lateral thinking and acting out of the box. And to some extent an inability to think within guidelines. Rules and structure just don?t work for me for most part.
My ADHD questionnaire isn?t revelant at all. I know I have this and it has been diagnosed already. Kinda pointless to take this test as well.
However the BDI-II test was interesting. I?ve taken it many, many times and I could, probably, if I wanted to, mess with it. For anyone not familiar with said test. It?s a depression index. 21 questions, 0 to 3 points scored on 4 answers. And the total indexes if you are depressed and if so, if it?s mild or severe. No, it?s not a clear test as a standalone thing, but I guess it gives some indication to further look into it.
I did the test and did a quick count to see my score. The highest one can score is 69 points (21 times 3; the highest score on a question). I ended up 37. I know I?m feeling miserable and somewhat depressed.
Said professional told me ?honestly, looking at these results (from the BDI), there?s nothing wrong with you?. I didn?t inquire scaling and benchmarks, but I did a checkup when I was outside and had internet access.
This is the scaling on the BDI-II
0?13: minimal depression
14?19: mild depression
20?28: moderate depression
29?63: severe depression.
Higher total scores indicate more severe depressive symptoms.
The last time I did this test at a therapist 2 years ago I scored 16, which was low and no real cause for alarm, yet it was enough for him to refer me to see a therapist and see what else was up.
In 2 years, things clearly have changed, and not for the better.
So clearly ?nothing wrong? I say to myself with a distinct sarcastic undertone.
Based on the other information I provided he figured however;
I should seek out therapy and see what they say. However, because of narcissistic tendencies as well as the already existing autism diagnosis, which both don?t really have a lot of therapeutic support in the long run, are really slim, he figured I?d check it out at least. I?m having personality traits that clearly don?t compliment my Asperger?s. He thought my personality profile conflicted with the traits that come with autism. That?s actually an inner struggle I fight daily. He did agree with me that my narcissistic tendencies lie more dormant now, because I?m not feeling that good. These can skyrocket if I actually feel up? and it could end bad? really bad. So perhaps, therapy will, for once? be the worst to do. The irony, oh the irony!
I?m not fit for ?normal? employment and should apply for some kind of special needs employment file. He assess these files as well, and he told me it would be no problem for me to get that fixed, since my problems are serious enough in terms of employment. However, it seems this good sir did not get the memo that;
?special needs employment? companies have all closed on January 1st 2013! (cutbacks, since it?s government funded) So technically, I can file for it, get my documents and be unemployed? but hey, at least I can say ?I can?t hold a regular job?.
And that my friends is how you motivate people back to a route into employment.
I had said appointment today and it was mildly amusing? and then some. Here?s some interesting highlights.
I got there sat down and he was all like ?so, what?s your problem??. My response ?take out a pen, take out paper, start writing.. and try to keep up!?. 90 minutes later he ran out of paper.
I took some tests including the BDI-II and the DISC, an ADHD questionnaire and some other test.
After that the final ?verdict?, which kinda took the cake.
He started off with the DISC results, which confused the f out of him. Generally speaking, I came across as a dominant extrovert with little to no interest to submit, comply or adapt at all. It confused him because that?s not what aspies are like according to him. Then I gave him a step by step walkthrough why I think this assessment actually is correct. And how his perception of the past 2 hours is totally off.
When I saw a therapist 2 years ago I was on the brink of being diagnosed with a narcissistic personality disorder (as well as some others) and I told him where it showed in what regards I?m actually extroverted, and in which regards I?m actually a pretty dominant person. Simply put I roll with a ?my way or the highway? attitude a lot, I?m not the person to collaborate with, and I?m a control freak to some extent that will go to some lengths to maintain control. That?s how I have narcissistic tendencies.
My history in a variety of things from school, to jobs to even hobby projects actually underlines all this. Example; When I was In a band in the 2004-ish era, I actually was the person who did almost everything in the band. It was pretty much ?my band? and the ones included were merely musicians to live shows to some extent. I wasn?t that extreme that I didn?t value input, but honestly, most of it was mine, and that?s how I like it.
I am inclined to say that it?s more of a control than an ?ego? thing though. I like to maintain some personal integrity and quality control on whatever my name is associated with.
Extrovertedness shows itself as an artist of sorts. I don?t compose music for myself, I don?t make art just for me. I create it to put out in the world? to share. I?m not that stuck up, lol. And I think my look kinda adds to it for not being a the quiet introvert that rather just remains hidden. I?m visibly present with my 6?2, 240+ pound frame, lol. And then comes some body modifications, long hair and the list goes on.
The non-conforming aspects are the ones I gladly attribute to lateral thinking and acting out of the box. And to some extent an inability to think within guidelines. Rules and structure just don?t work for me for most part.
My ADHD questionnaire isn?t revelant at all. I know I have this and it has been diagnosed already. Kinda pointless to take this test as well.
However the BDI-II test was interesting. I?ve taken it many, many times and I could, probably, if I wanted to, mess with it. For anyone not familiar with said test. It?s a depression index. 21 questions, 0 to 3 points scored on 4 answers. And the total indexes if you are depressed and if so, if it?s mild or severe. No, it?s not a clear test as a standalone thing, but I guess it gives some indication to further look into it.
I did the test and did a quick count to see my score. The highest one can score is 69 points (21 times 3; the highest score on a question). I ended up 37. I know I?m feeling miserable and somewhat depressed.
Said professional told me ?honestly, looking at these results (from the BDI), there?s nothing wrong with you?. I didn?t inquire scaling and benchmarks, but I did a checkup when I was outside and had internet access.
This is the scaling on the BDI-II
0?13: minimal depression
14?19: mild depression
20?28: moderate depression
29?63: severe depression.
Higher total scores indicate more severe depressive symptoms.
The last time I did this test at a therapist 2 years ago I scored 16, which was low and no real cause for alarm, yet it was enough for him to refer me to see a therapist and see what else was up.
In 2 years, things clearly have changed, and not for the better.
So clearly ?nothing wrong? I say to myself with a distinct sarcastic undertone.
Based on the other information I provided he figured however;
I should seek out therapy and see what they say. However, because of narcissistic tendencies as well as the already existing autism diagnosis, which both don?t really have a lot of therapeutic support in the long run, are really slim, he figured I?d check it out at least. I?m having personality traits that clearly don?t compliment my Asperger?s. He thought my personality profile conflicted with the traits that come with autism. That?s actually an inner struggle I fight daily. He did agree with me that my narcissistic tendencies lie more dormant now, because I?m not feeling that good. These can skyrocket if I actually feel up? and it could end bad? really bad. So perhaps, therapy will, for once? be the worst to do. The irony, oh the irony!
I?m not fit for ?normal? employment and should apply for some kind of special needs employment file. He assess these files as well, and he told me it would be no problem for me to get that fixed, since my problems are serious enough in terms of employment. However, it seems this good sir did not get the memo that;
?special needs employment? companies have all closed on January 1st 2013! (cutbacks, since it?s government funded) So technically, I can file for it, get my documents and be unemployed? but hey, at least I can say ?I can?t hold a regular job?.
And that my friends is how you motivate people back to a route into employment.
