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Asperger's & Autism Forum
Does anyone feel like you can't, or don't even have to right to, stick up for yourself and let people know what you need/want in order to feel comfortable and safe? Whether it was b/c no one ever really helped you learn how, or you tried to when you were growing up and were discouraged from doing so b/c it made you an "inconvenience" and "you couldn't always have it your way?"
I'll give an example....When I was about 13, I went to the hospital for some surgery. I took my favorite stuffed dolphin with me just so I would have a familiar object with me. When I was placed in the actual surgery room, I was pretty relaxed and comfortable with what was happening until the surgeon and nurses asked me to position myself in a certain way on the operating table. I was trying to move/ position my body in the way they wanted me to (while trying to stay decent in the flimsy hospital gown I had to change into earlier) and then one of the nurses noticed My Dolphin at my side. Just as I had...
I feel like my life isn't my own, ignored and fallen through the cracks. Like I'm not the captain of my own ship, stuck on someone else's auto-pilot.
And I just don't feel I have the energy to fight it or speak up for myself.
An ignored time-off request sending me on another spiral. Maybe I'm just over reacting.
But are policies not put into place in order to be followed and not ignored?
My S/O planned a birthday trip for me this weekend. He gave me a month's heads up, so that only slightly lessened the anxiety that trips/planning usually gets incited in myself.
It all comes down to the stress it causes me to ask for time off. Because in the past, no matter where I worked it always ends the same, with my requests being denied or ignored.
I should add, I am a line cook. So asking for a weekend day off, is always just "lol".
I requested the time off on March 1st. It was approved the same day by the owner/manager. Of course she didn't communicate that to my chef/kitchen...
We hear all about how Aspies often have a rigid adherence to routines, repetitive behaviors and maybe have difficulty with spontaneity and surprises. I haven't heard much discussion about schedules.
While I am not the most spontaneous person, I am also not particularly rigid with routines. Though I prefer to not have too many disruptions and changes, I can accommodate and be flexible to a point. However, I strongly dislike trying to adhere to a strict schedule. I am a daydreamy type, and my mind often focuses on my own thoughts, or what I am engaged in, rather than what is going on around me at the time. Consequently, I tend to have challenges with timeliness, switching activities, responding to the needs and requests of others.
This morning, my partner and I spent an hour and a half developing yet another schedule for me to follow, in order to keep on track with my various projects, our personal needs, and my work. My partner is adamant about the effectiveness, and necessity,...
I have always found death to be confusing. I don't get upset and am confused when others do. When my grandmother died (I was 13-14) I wasn't sad, I just felt inconvenienced. The same for anyone I've ever known who has died.
Even more confusing is when people are upset because people they don't know have died, like in the news. 9/11 was very confusing for me because I couldn't understand why people were so upset. They did not even live in the same country. Recently two teenagers died in my city (they were stupid and died because of it) and my mother was so upset, why? She didn't even know their families, let alone the kids.
Another example was in high school. My teacher was sad and told us that her bestfriends mom died. I asked her why she was crying when it wasn't her mother who died and it made her cry more and my classmates were angry with me. I don't understand why she could be upset. It would be reasonable if it was her mother, but not someone else's. Can anyone explain...
Today I was @ university the whole afternoon, a thing I've been trying since this year I am trying to follow my parents instructions and go to class, unlike last year.
Today, I was resting from one class and I went to the university garden -which is, by the way, huge-. There's a lot of grass where people usually sit and talk -since Spanish weather is so nice, you can practically do this every month but Jan and Feb-.
I saw from afar three people I knew (2 girls, 1 boy) -they are not close to me, but they are friends with a close friend of mine. They know me from first year, when I was doing weird stuff and didn't even know about Aspergers, so I was pretending to be the nicest guy possible to everybody, which, as I said before, is exhausting-.
I smiled at them, because they also saw me, and they were kind of staring at me from afar, which is weird. I kept smiling and I started walking towards them, if they maybe wanted something from me or do the usual 'hello how have you been'...
I know there have been other threads concerning driving, but I thought it would be nice to open one discussing driving and those on the spectrum. Where I work, there are many who are on the spectrum; most do not drive. My friends’ daughter (22-years-old), who is like a niece to me, is also on the spectrum and does not drive. She has tried to learn, but can’t seem to grasp the mechanics of it like turning, slowing down, etc. Her dad even bought her a golf cart hoping she’d learn. It didn’t help and she almost killed me in it.
I, on the other hand, took right to it from the get go. When I was a boy, I used to spend a LOT of time at the go-cart track burning up my allowance. That’s when gas was cheap . . . very cheap. When I got my driver’s license, I was at the drag strip every Saturday night. So for me, driving was not a problem and something I enjoyed. I even drove a tractor-trailer for a few years. I loved the driving part, but practically lost my mind in big city...
Being overly sensitive is one of Aspie's problems. I'm especially sensitive to sound, more specifically, the sound made by loudly-talking people. A few shouts or screams are fine since they last very shortly. But when in a club, cafeteria, etc., people often talk very loudly for a long period. And it sometimes drives me crazy. I wouldn't crawl on the ground or something like that. Usually my eyes open wide, and it's like, my brain cells keep exploding one by one. Does anyone have similar problem? How do you deal with it?
We currently live in the middle east where autism support, facilities and services are extremely poor and so many people do not even understand what autism is. We have a 6 years old kid who could be an autistic. We noticed he is hyper active, cannot focus, and can only speak a few words at age of 6. Many people are giving different opinions, but in general no one here in the region was able to give us clear diagnosis.
We will be moving to Germany soon for a job offer. I am not sure who is autism support there? We don't speak German, and we are not sure if our kid will cope with it? Will he get included in school? Is this the right move?
Any input will be highly appreciated.
Called a state agency I interviewed with awhile back today for an update and they told me they went with someone else. Ugh. I don't know what else to do at this point I go on multiple interviews and I either hear nothing or get rejected. I am a good interviewer but I have no work experience and being autistic some jobs I just cannot do due to the over stimulation or multi tasking. I'm not sure what to do. I've used some staffing agencies but they haven't done anything either so not sure why they even have me come in. I just don't know what to do. I'm using this agency that is supposed to help people with disabilities find jobs but they have just met with me multiple times and given me leads but nothing absolutely nothing has come from them. I'm just sick of it.
I had a discussion with my friend who's 5 y/o son has severe Autism, about his constant drinking habits. He's going nowhere without his bottle filled with either 'My Waddi' or the occasional 'Seven Up'.
I asked her how much he would usually drink per day and her reply was about 5-6 of those half litre bottles. So up to 3 litres or almost a gallon per day.
The reason I was interested in it is that I would drink about the same amount a day. But haven't met anyone else who does it too.
I also never leave the house without a bottle of water in the bag and I get thirsty very quickly.
I know it might be a long shot, but who knows, maybe it might be linked with autism and our need to be hydrated to work well.
My 6 y/o nephew also drinks quite a lot. He also shows a few symptoms of Asperger's, but my sister in law doesn't believe me so far and doesn't want to get him tested yet. But that's another story...
And no, I am not diabetic, as I get tested regularly due to family history, or...
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