I know there have been many posts since, but I would like to insert my thoughts.
If you told me OCD was a difference and not a disability, I would point out that OCD is caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain
This is not how it has ever been diagnosed. Even the most recent criteria, it's diagnosed on obsessions and compulsions, not by analysing the brain. See
DSM 5 diagnostic criteria. And a condition, such as most autism cases, being idiopathic (unknown cause), does not mean it's any less real.
Since a disability is widely agreed to be something that is unable to be "fixed," I would question whether or not having OCD and Asperger's would be disabilities in the first place, or if I just perceived them to be which brings me back to my original point.
It was not only you who perceived them this way, whoever diagnosed you also did.
DSM IV OCD diagnostic criteria
DSM IV AS diagnostic criteria
Look at point "C" in both:
OCD: "The obsessions or compulsions cause marked distress, are time consuming (take more than 1 hour a day), or significantly interfere with the person's normal routine, occupational (or academic) functioning, or usual social activities or relationships"
AS: "The disturbance causes clinically significant impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning"
The person diagnosing you must have seen your functioning as significantly impaired.
If this is no longer the case, that's good. But it brings me back to the bullet points. "I don't have a disability" > "I have autism" > "autism isn't a disability" > "people with autism are not disabled". Please examine the assumptions you are making during each stage.
Nothing I said was directed at you specifically or meant to be offensive, but if you choose to be offended that's your choice.
"Offended" is not the word I would use. I am frustrated. It is frustrating that you refuse to even open your mind to the possibility of different perspectives being valid. That you inaccurately try to explain other perspectives that don't fit into your rigid worldview. You have a "bottom-up" perspective of autism based on your own experiences, the people you know, and your (limited) college education. This is of course important, but you need to consider it from the "top-down", which based on your generalisations, is something you've not considered. All those of us diagnosed have in common is we fit the diagnostic criteria. What else we have or not is not something that can be accurately generalised. Please try to be aware of this.
My perspective is based on a lifetime of trying to change who I am
Mine too, but without the safety net of having diagnoses. This is a fundamental difference. I don't expect you to ever truly understand what that's like, but it should not be impossible to gain a superficial understanding.
attitude and belief in yourself largely controls your ability to do something
Of course it does. But you're equating perspective and opinion to attitude, which is wrong, as they're different. My attitude towards myself and life have improved dramatically since I was diagnosed. I'm more positive, not less. I do much more activities, not less.
Where is this supposed attitude you are fighting against, anyway? I've only seen it from members of this site with depression. If you spend more time on the site, you'll see that many (I'd say most) believe they are superior. Like this recent topic and the replies, for example:
What would I be missing out on if I wasn't on the spectrum
Once you define being Autistic as a disability, you're doing two things:
1. Admitting that being Autistic is limiting your ability to do something or achieve something.
2. Admitting that you'll never be able to change that.
What does "that" at the end refer to? I believe I'll always be autistic. However, as I stated before, abilities are not static and difficulties can adapted to. What I struggle with now is different to what I struggled with 10 years ago. What I struggle with now will be different in 10 years. There are things that autism is currently limiting, but I know that's not permanent, which is why I never stop trying.
If you believe that, then these are my points.:
1. Being Autistic may change your priorities, comfort level in certain situations, and the way you perceive the world, but it doesn't keep you from being happy unless you define your happiness as your ability to be like other people.
2. You shouldn't want to change who you are unless it's for yourself and not for validation
Again, I've already stated this. It's my own internal drive, not external. And I am happy, but I really wasn't before I knew I had a problem.
I think many people with Autism have two conflicting thoughts that are the source of much of their anxiety:
1. The inability to like the same activities, do the same things, or act the same way as the people around them, which leads them to a belief that there is something wrong with them.
2. The inability to emulate others. Since Autistic people have a natural inability to empathize and know what's "normal," we tend to use the behavior of others as a model for what we should be ideally.
This is a generalisation based from your own experience.
Since that person likely has spent a lifetime being in uncomfortable situations without running away from them, it's manageable. It still may be difficult, but it's tolerable.
A neurodiverse person in the same situation may find it intolerable. Not because there's something wrong with them, but because throughout their life they may have run away from every uncomfortable change. Maybe they had to eat a type of food they disliked, or there was a small change in their daily routine. A neurodiverse person is likely to have avoided uncomfortable situations as much as possible whether necessary or not, and throughout a lifetime that limits their ability to confront changes that are uncomfortable but necessary.
Again, this is your own experience. For those of us with adulthood diagnoses, this is unlikely to be the case. I didn't have the opportunity to run away from uncomfortable situations. I'm not neurotypical, but your description of a neurotypical fits me there.
So at the root of the problem is that neurodiverse people generally have no experience knowing which situations they have to confront directly, and which ones would always make them miserable despite pressure from neurotypical people who think it's what would be best for them. Making the decision to confront difficult situations can be discouraging when you don't know which situations to confront and which ones are unnecessary.
Maybe this is true for those with a childhood diagnosis. I wouldn't know. But it's not true for me, and I would be surprised if it was true for anyone first diagnosed with anything in adulthood. We all have very different experiences, please try to remember this.
The ability to know what's best for you is something that takes practice just like anything else in life. If you spend your life having self-limiting thoughts, those thoughts will be true for you. The determining factor in being able to lead a happy and fulfilling life isn't where you are on the spectrum, it's the ability to understand yourself and know what you want out of life.
Again, as difficult as it may be for you to understand, finding out you have a disability can be a very positive thing. It may have been self-limiting for you, but you can't accurately extrapolate that to everyone. I understand myself far better now I know I'm disabled. I lead a happier and more fulfilling life now I know I'm disabled. Why? I'm not comparing my abilities to others. I'm comparing my abilities to what they were in the past, and looking at where I want them to be in the future. It's increased my self-esteem and self-confidence to know it's not my fault I'm struggling.