So, I'm a very clumsy person (hello!) and as such, I have had my fair share of accidents. I thought it might be funny to list them and see if I can supply anyone with a daily dose of Schadenfreude (and maybe get some embarrassing stories in return? Who knows!) Some of these happened while I was a kid, some of these were as an adult. Here are a few of my clumsy adventures, feel free to share yours:
- Broke my toe because I climbed into my wardrobe and pretended to be a cat, then the wardrobe collapsed because the planks were made to hold clothes, not humans
- Broke a different toe by stubbing it on an underwater rock on a sandy beach (literally no other rocks in sight)
- Got a sprained wrist because I was using clip-in pedals with my roadbike for the first time and forgot how to release my feet, so I helplessly fell over when I stopped at a traffic light
- Got a very painful pubic bruise because I was riding my bicycle downhill with an ice cream cone in one hand and my sister yelled for me to stop. I used only one handbrake, because I had an ice cream in the other hand. Sadly, the one handbrake was for the front wheel, so I slammed into the handlebar stem with my groin and flipped over the handlebars onto the asphalt. My sister mostly wanted to know if the ice cream was still okay.
- Got a bad ankle contusion because I tripped over the cat while walking indoors, fell and held on to the door handle, forcibly slamming the door with my ankle stuck between the door and the doorstep
- Got a bad knee contusion and skin abrasion because my friend convinced me it would be fun to ride my bike over a speed bump with my eyes closed and without holding the steering wheel (and I was the idiot that believed it)
- Got a bloody nose and a nose contusion because I tried to tie my shoelaces too enthusiastically and kneed myself in the face
- Broke my toe because I climbed into my wardrobe and pretended to be a cat, then the wardrobe collapsed because the planks were made to hold clothes, not humans
- Broke a different toe by stubbing it on an underwater rock on a sandy beach (literally no other rocks in sight)
- Got a sprained wrist because I was using clip-in pedals with my roadbike for the first time and forgot how to release my feet, so I helplessly fell over when I stopped at a traffic light
- Got a very painful pubic bruise because I was riding my bicycle downhill with an ice cream cone in one hand and my sister yelled for me to stop. I used only one handbrake, because I had an ice cream in the other hand. Sadly, the one handbrake was for the front wheel, so I slammed into the handlebar stem with my groin and flipped over the handlebars onto the asphalt. My sister mostly wanted to know if the ice cream was still okay.
- Got a bad ankle contusion because I tripped over the cat while walking indoors, fell and held on to the door handle, forcibly slamming the door with my ankle stuck between the door and the doorstep
- Got a bad knee contusion and skin abrasion because my friend convinced me it would be fun to ride my bike over a speed bump with my eyes closed and without holding the steering wheel (and I was the idiot that believed it)
- Got a bloody nose and a nose contusion because I tried to tie my shoelaces too enthusiastically and kneed myself in the face