Your funniest injuries

[Bolletje]

And I am now thoroughly forewarned of potential injuries arising from outdoors toilets...

Indeed, one must never underestimate the dangers of outdoor toilets. Lurking. Watching. Waiting…

 

[Raggamuffin]

When I was a kid I used to keep big plastic tubs of toys next to the bed. In my infinite wisdom I thought I'd jump on the bed, but in the air I wanted to do a barrel roll style spin. Spinning through the air like a drill or some such.

Needless to say I missed the bed entirely and landed on one of the box of toys.


The day I got my road bike and cleat shoes I wanted to trial it in the garden before going on the road. I was coming to a stop and tried to snap the foot out of the pedal, but it remained stuck. I panicked, and whilst attempting to dismount I went over the handlebars, did my first, and only ever front flip - whilst still attached to the bike, and landed crumpled on the grass in fits of laughter.

Ed

 

[LadyS]

@crewlucaa_ @LadyS

Blimey! I wonder how many of us have actually done this?

I was about 10, when I ran into a huge plate glass window in the lobby of a hotel. Just because it was clear didn't mean there was nothing there, and yet I ran straight into it as if it was somehow an empty space. I was so shocked I couldn't believe what had happened, and also really glad that I hadn't gone through it. I remember being very embarrassed too. Fortunately it wasn't seen by anyone, at least that's what I told myself at the time.

And why always hotels?! Lol. Reminds me of another incident with two NT friends. They were both a little tipsy after a night out in the town and one of the friends was running dragging the other to go show her something in the hotel and they both ran smack right into the glass wall. I was supposed to be with them that night but had to take a friend home earlier who had also injured herself slipping in the hotel tub and chipping her two front teeth. Surely a night we've all remembered lol.

 

[Nitro]

When I was a kid I used to keep big plastic tubs of toys next to the bed. In my infinite wisdom I thought I'd jump on the bed, but in the air I wanted to do a barrel roll style spin. Spinning through the air like a drill or some such.

Needless to say I missed the bed entirely and landed on one of the box of toys.




Ed

This makes that seem mild in the bigger picture

 

[SimonSays]

And why always hotels?! Lol.

Right!

Perhaps it is because we are in a strange place, feeling different, elated even, at having the hotel experience. I've always liked them, even though I almost never stay in one.

In my case, I was on my way to the pool. I was excited. I could see it through the window, and I must've assumed I could get to it from there. I even remember jumping as I went to go though the 'open space' and being thrown back so violently was just shocking. Had I been older or just bigger I could easily have gone through it. I was dazed for ages. Didn't do much swimming.

 

[Nitro]

As an older child in a bigger family, I was given the top bunk in the bedroom.
Needless to say, it was an oldschool bunkbed with no sissy bars.
More than once, I rolled off the top and got blasted on the bare hardwood floor.
Tears, parents, you get the picture...

One night I surmised that the reason I fell so fast was because I tensed up during the fall.
From observing paper float off the top, I figured if I was totally relaxed, I would glide smoothly to it.

Ok, time to test my theory.
Back towards the floor side, slowly I start my roll.
Felt the tension build, so I aborted my mission.
OK, get totally relaxed, in fact limp.
Roll.
That damned floor came up just as fast....

Tears, parents, you get the picture

 

[Callistemon]

Indeed, one must never underestimate the dangers of outdoor toilets. Lurking. Watching. Waiting…

I see you have picked up the main point of my story exactly, and put it in a nutshell!

 

[Magna]

I've still got the faint scar from that to remind me. And I am now thoroughly forewarned of potential injuries arising from outdoors toilets...

A coworker at an old job used an outdoor toilet at a campground and was bit on the ass by a brown recluse spider (the only kind of poisonous spider that inhabits that area). From what he described he had to have a sizeable area of his flesh and muscle of one of his glutes debrided (removed) from the poison damage.

 

[Callistemon]

@Magna, the old Aussie outdoor dunnies always came with an expectation of redback spiders. To play on this, you can buy toilet seats with fake redback spiders embedded in resin. Quite lovely looking and a bit of a showpiece for a toilet, I think.

 

[AGXStarseed]

A coworker at an old job used an outdoor toilet at a campground and was bit on the ass by a brown recluse spider (the only kind of poisonous spider that inhabits that area). From what he described he had to have a sizeable area of his flesh and muscle of one of his glutes debrided (removed) from the poison damage.

Ouch! Reminds me of a near-incident I had back in 2018.

One night in June 2018 when I got in bed to go to sleep, I felt myself lay on something underneath my backside so I lifted myself up and got hold of what I had laid on. Due to the light been off, I put the object I had laid on on my pillow and slipped out of bed to turn the light on so I could see what it was.
When I put the light on, I freaked because it turned out I'd sat/laid down on a honeybee and it was still alive. Using the jug from the bathroom I scooped up the bee (which began to buzz its wings) and quickly chucked it out of the bedroom window.

When I told my mum about it the next morning and pointed out that I was lucky it didn't sting me, we both had a giggle about what could have happened and how embarrassing/funny it would have been for me to have to go to the hospital and - when the receptionist asked me what the matter was - to reply "a honeybee stung me in my butt".

 

[Magna]

One for me would be sneezing while brushing my teeth and throwing my back out in the process. That's as pathetic as it is funny.

Another would be running drunk down a carpeted hallway in a hotel with my friends in my early twenties, tripping over my own feet in the process and skidding to a stop while using the palms of my hands as brakes. I ended up shaving off an area the size of a nickel on the palm of one hand from rug burn and it shaved deeply enough where I had a scab there for weeks before it healed.

 

[Callistemon]

One for me would be sneezing while brushing my teeth and throwing my back out in the process. That's as pathetic as it is funny.

I've had that happen too.

My husband's most ridiculous injury is when he damaged his rotator cuff - not building our house or digging ditches or shovelling sand or trimming trees, but by reaching around from the driver's seat to the back seat to retrieve his lunch pack...took three months to get better...

 

[AGXStarseed]

I've had that happen too.

My husband's most ridiculous injury is when he damaged his rotator cuff - not building our house or digging ditches or shovelling sand or trimming trees, but by reaching around from the driver's seat to the back seat to retrieve his lunch pack...took three months to get better...

Reminds me of British comedian Michael McIntyre in his stand-up show "Happy and Glorious" when he mentions some of the injuries he's had, which included the following.

- He pulled a muscle in his back while reaching for food on the bottom shelf of the fridge. Apparently, he didn't immediately call for help and instead just ate all the food he could reach before finally calling for help when there was a Yop that was out of his reach.

- He apparently got "Golfer's Elbow" despite not playing golf.

- He cricked his neck while watching a football match. He simply made the motion for one of the players to "head" the ball into the net and cricked his neck in the process; meaning he could only watch one half of the rest of the match.

 

[Forest Cat]

@Magna, the old Aussie outdoor dunnies always came with an expectation of redback spiders. To play on this, you can buy toilet seats with fake redback spiders embedded in resin. Quite lovely looking and a bit of a showpiece for a toilet, I think.

I was watching a show called Aussie Gold Hunters yesterday. A woman was working outside, she lifted up a piece of wood and suddenly something huge jumped off it. It was a Huntsman spider. She poked it with a stick to make it leave, it then viciously attacked the stick! Why is everything in Australian nature so big and horrible? So much poison and snakes and huge spiders.

 

[Callistemon]

Weren't there bears in Norway once? And you still have Fjord ponies. There is nothing that size in the current Australian fauna, @Forest Cat. The Eastern Grey kangaroo is about as big as it gets, about as tall and heavy as a human, although old boomers can be bigger as male kangaroos grow indefinitely (but only in tiny amounts later in life). But our megafauna died out about 10,000 years ago, and huntsman spiders are not dangerous unless you are an insect, and they are kind of cute!

 

[Forest Cat]

Weren't there bears in Norway once? And you still have Fjord ponies. There is nothing that size in the current Australian fauna, @Forest Cat. The Eastern Grey kangaroo is about as big as it gets, about as tall and heavy as a human, although old boomers can be bigger as male kangaroos grow indefinitely (but only in tiny amounts later in life). But our megafauna died out about 10,000 years ago, and huntsman spiders are not dangerous unless you are an insect, and they are kind of cute!

There are bears and wolves in the forest where I live, but they don't have eight legs and they are not poisonous. You guys have so many poisonous snakes and spiders that are just too large. That Huntsman spider was so big! I was worried it would wrestle the stick out of the womans hand and beat her with it.

 

[Callistemon]

There are bears and wolves in the forest where I live, but they don't have eight legs and they are not poisonous. You guys have so many poisonous snakes and spiders that are just too large. That Huntsman spider was so big! I was worried it would wrestle the stick out of the womans hand and beat her with it.

ROFL. Want some spider stories? I wrote some once for general entertainment, having met too many Americans who were talking about our awful big poisonous spiders in Australia.

Insane Entertainment Especially For Cure Fans - Page 2

"Let's go for a walk" - A tribute to The Cure (April Fools joke)

That's the two funniest.

Especially for the Norwegian dude who lives in a forest full of bears and wolves!

 

[Judge]

ROFL. Want some spider stories? I wrote some once for general entertainment, having met too many Americans who were talking about our awful big poisonous spiders in Australia.

LOL....true dat. But then I'll keep our rattlesnakes and you can keep those spiders.

I know, I know...when it comes to creepy crawlers the US can't hold a candle to Oz.

Though I did live on the island of Guam....lots of interesting critters there too, but only the stonefish were lethal as I recall. Lots and lots of geckos on the ceiling, with one falling down my mother's dress. It was like a scene out of the Three Stooges. Luckily only her pride got injured from all her hysterics.

 

[Forest Cat]

LOL....true dat. But then I'll keep our rattlesnakes and you can keep those spiders.

I know, I know...when it comes to creepy crawlers the US can't hold a candle to Oz.

Though I did live on the island of Guam....lots of interesting critters there too, but only the stonefish were lethal as I recall.

Australia has 21 of the world's 25 deadliest snakes... 21 of 25! It's like Australian nature hates the world and wants to kill everyone.

 

[Judge]

Australia has 21 of the world's 25 deadliest snakes... 21 of 25! It's like Australian nature hates the world and wants to kill everyone.

Yes, but what a great place to photograph wildlife!