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Younger male partners

Sabrina

Sabrina

Gentle & brave earthling
All the boyfriends that I’ve had (and ex husband), have been younger than me (six months, a year, two years, three years, three years).

I’m curious to know if there are other female aspies like me. I used to think that it was because I looked younger, but maybe I’m emotionally younger too (an euphemism for emotionally immature).
 
Damn... um, I lied on my registration, that's it, I'm really 41. Yeah.

Seriously though, that's not a big difference in age at your age, three years hardly makes you a cougar. Six months, a year? Same age in my book. Although I guess some people do really try to be with others nearly exactly the same age, maybe three years is significant to lots of people, I don't know.

I guess it may be seen as a bit unusual in that many, if not most women tend to date men a bit older than themselves. Maybe interesting, I hope it's not something you're worried about.
 
I am not an Aspie but if it is any help, I too had ex husband who was younger, 4 years, but looked and behaved older and now I am with someone who is 18 yrs younger But we actually look the same age I need to be with people who I connect with and age is never the issue. I do believe that I am emotionally younger and don't think I am going to change any time soon.
 
I find it an interesting concept. Because when we are interested in someone, we do not first ask their age lol

My ex boyfriend was a couple of months younger then me. My husband is close to 10 year's older than me.
 
MrSpock said:
Seriously though, that's not a big difference in age at your age...

I hope it’s not something you're worried about.
Click to expand...

It’s not a big difference, and I’m not worried about it. I’m just curious to know if it has something to do with being an aspie woman.
 
Sabrina said:
All the boyfriends that I’ve had (and ex husband), have been younger than me (six months, a year, two years, three years, three years).

I’m curious to know if there are other female aspies like me. I used to think that it was because I looked younger, but maybe I’m emotionally younger too (an euphemism for emotionally immature).
Click to expand...

I have had several lovers less than half my age. I also have had long term relationships with men in my own age range or 10 years younger, or 3 years older. The sexual encounters have been amazingly awesome with guys half or more younger than myself.

It was awesome being 45 and dating men in their early 20s. However for long term, I like the maturity of people within 5 years younger or older than myself. It’s not a steadfast rule, but just seemed to work out that way over my life. I did have an aspie liver 10 years younger, but he is so brillliant and mature, that it was like dating an older man.
 
The last couple of times I did speed dating I was annoyed that I had to be lumped into the "older" category. Seriously, I'm 43 so why am I expected to have more in common with a 53-year-old than a 38-year-old?
 
It's unusual for the woman to be the older one, but seems to be increasingly more common these days. Especially as people get older, since there is such a big variation in how slowly/quickly some people age. I know 35 year olds who look like a stereotypical 50 year old and 60 year olds who look 35 due to a combination of good genetics and healthy lifestyle. As long as you are both legally consenting adults then it shouldn't be an issue.

I'm the opposite; I've only ever dated men older than me. As a teen I was only attracted to guys 30+ and dating younger guys (due to my age) never worked. The first long term relationship and engagement I had was with a man 11 years older and my last long term partner was 13 years older than me. A lot of my family have bigger age gap relationships, since they are quite 'traditional', so it's always seemed more normal. Although it's difficult to tell with most of them. There's 20+ years between my grandparents, for example. I'm in my mid 30s now, so it's not a big deal any more. I think it's far more important that you share similar values, goals, interests, etc, and are a good fit, rather than a specific number.
 
I don't know if this is relevant but ... Almost all the men I have been attracted to have been the same height as me, which at 166cm is on the short side for a man. This would appear to refute the Freudian stuff about women being subconsciously attracted to men who remind them of their fathers (mine's 183cm tall). Not that I would take a tape measure to a first date, unlike a certain participant on The Undateables!
 
Aeolienne said:
I don't know if this is relevant but ... Almost all the men I have been attracted to have been the same height as me, which at 166cm is on the short side for a man. This would appear to refute the Freudian stuff about women being subconsciously attracted to men who remind them of their fathers (mine's 183cm tall). Not that I would take a tape measure to a first date, unlike a certain participant on The Undateables!
Click to expand...

Many notable people (brilliant licensed doctors, therapists, clinicians, etc) in the mental health have refuted Freud and continue to do so.
 
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