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You might be an Aspie/Autie if?/Jokes

M

Mia

Well-Known Member
V.I.P Member
  • If after four days lost and barefoot in the woods you hear a rescuer shout your name and you respond, "What?"
  • Your computer's hard drive is in perfect order but you see no reason for making your bed every day.
  • If you count your time at the check out counter as social interaction.
  • You were a Trekkie way before it was cool.
  • You hold your breath down the detergent aisle.
  • If you've ever translated anything at all into Klingon.
  • Before baking a cake you read a book on the chemistry of baking to find out what exactly each ingredient does, how they all interact, and exactly what happens at each stage of the baking process.
  • Your pets have more social interaction than you do.

  • There are holes in all your clothes where the tags used to be...
  • The thought, "there has to be a pattern to this" is a major theme of your life.


I found these all familiar, this is from:You Might Be An Aspie If...

Please add more that apply, if you can think of some.
 
You be aspie if

-You carry around ear plugs in case you end up in a loud crowded space.

-Your response to "happy birthday" is "happy birthday".

-you got left in a office supply store because you wondered off to look at the fancy pens.

-You're 6'2" and you still try to hide behind people.
 
Hey! My bed being made every day is every bit as critical as my hard drive operating optimally at all times. :p

Yeah, removing those tags from clothing is tricky sometimes. o_O

Well, it's nicer to leave and say, "Exit, stage right." Or left. Anyway it sounds better than to bellow in Klingonese "Jol yIchu!" :eek:

Time at the checkout counter is about the only social interaction that happens for me in real life. :oops:

Yep, I'm big on patterns of just about any kind. :cool:

Me on the spectrum? Naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaw. :D
 
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korbin said:
-Your response to "happy birthday" is "happy birthday".
Click to expand...

I hate it when that happens!

- All your remote controls have missing or flappy battery covers from being opened and closed 200 times per night.
- Your wife says, "I'm going to take that remote control off you and #(-(+(*(*+* )
- After telling your wife off for leaving a door unlocked after leaving the house, and she says, well you must do that too some times, and you can say with perfect honesty - no never I check every door and windows, and I run through them again in my mind as I get in the car.
 
sorry,a long wall of text coming at you,ive had NO sleep at all last night after the previous nights lack of sleep so i have a lot of ideas in my head-itss took me a long time to write though as my word memory bank is being screwy.

anyway......you might be autie if:
*you dont know what age apropriate means-ie you dont give a crap about being seen with baby toys,childrens things etc whether they match your intellectual capacity or not.

*you suck at real world stuff but your own world is an indepth colourful and safe alternate dimension.

*you suck at verbal speech and may not verbally speak at all but you could write something indepth and wow people if it was in text or pictures.

*your language skills suck-you relie on a dictionary and thesaurus to understand other people and to use other vocabulary,but you can fix a computer.

*you have been misdiagnosed with intellectual disability before,or you actually do have intellectual disability;or at the opposite side intellectual giftedness.

*you are disconnected to humanity and see humans as objects but you have an incredible intense passion for animals or you are a caring person in general.

*you are cleverer than your support staff in any area but they treat you like a child and because of your lack of interaction or communication skills you cant argue it.

*people spot your autism instantly,but instead of asking you about it they ask your support staff/carer/family etc.

*because of your intense visual thinking you struggle to translate imagery to language and as a result have delays in your speech.

*you are called or have been called 'retard'/'retarded' by people who you are much smarter than-even if you happen to have come under that dreadful label.

*you were/are non verbal but can talk in some form of animal language.

*you cant read or struggle with reading and cant write,but you are smart in any area.

*you wonder why people cry when watching tv shows where something bad happens to a character,and you ask people; why are you crying? it isnt real-you cant understand this behavior.'

*you dont understand the concept of death and when in funerals can be found doing anything but crying which scares or angers people around you if they dont understand autism.

*you were classed as unteachable at school because of being so absorbed in your own world and lacking understanding of everything and everyone around you and/or you presented with very challenging behavior because of your frustration and sensory issues.

*following on from the one above,in school you were made to sit at a table for unteachable kids,away from those they gave a damn about,and/or you were left seated in the head masters office on the floor rocking until home time when your parents collected you and punched you on the way out as they couldnt do anything with you.

*you were expelled or regulary suspended from school for severe challenging behavior,even if you were at a special school.

*you struggle to relate to a lot of aspies.

*you would love to have some sort of paid work but everyone looks at your autism and sees you as sweet and innocent in need of care instead of being serious like everyone else.

*you dont want to date other people as you lack interest in relationships with human beings,this might have lead to people calling you gay.

*you grew up without understanding people are different because your unique thinking and your visual perception makes you see people as the same piece of generic flesh.

*you use easy read/pictorial material to help you understand various topics, whether its something medical that affects you,or a social story,or a news letter etc.

*you struggle with the concept of empathy because of your unique way of seeing and understanding humans but you have learned deep sympathy and care deeply for animals,vulnerable people etc.

*you technically have a religeon and you might go to church/mosque/temple etc ,but you struggle to understand its concepts and it means very little to you because you cant understand.
 
I AM LAUGHING AND CRYING HERE!! oh my goodness. Here are a few more:

1. Though a simple greeting may take 1/2 second, you will rehearse one for hours or even days, and once it's over, you will go over and over it in your head about how badly that went and feel more shame that humanly possible! Then it's time to do it again and again and again and again!!!

2. You listen patiently while some NT talks your ear off for about 1/2 about some stupid colour on his car seats and you make one little peep about Thomas Aquinas and he turns and walks off.

3. You can eat about 5 foods, tops.

4. You notice kids love you till they outgrow whatever age you stopped at. Kids under 12 love me to pieces!! After that? Then I am "weird".

5. You struggle with wanting to be non-verbal (or non-verbal again if you were in the past), because of the torments of social interactions.
 
OkRad said:
1. Though a simple greeting may take 1/2 second, you will rehearse one for hours or even days, and once it's over, you will go over and over it in your head about how badly that went and feel more shame that humanly possible! Then it's time to do it again and again and again and again!!!
Click to expand...
It irritates me when I rehearse me greet for and hour and then the other person goes of script, I'm not prepared for this.
 
OkRad said:
I AM LAUGHING AND CRYING HERE!! oh my goodness. Here are a few more:

1. Though a simple greeting may take 1/2 second, you will rehearse one for hours or even days, and once it's over, you will go over and over it in your head about how badly that went and feel more shame that humanly possible! Then it's time to do it again and again and again and again!!!

2. You listen patiently while some NT talks your ear off for about 1/2 about some stupid colour on his car seats and you make one little peep about Thomas Aquinas and he turns and walks off.

3. You can eat about 5 foods, tops.

4. You notice kids love you till they outgrow whatever age you stopped at. Kids under 12 love me to pieces!! After that? Then I am "weird".

5. You struggle with wanting to be non-verbal (or non-verbal again if you were in the past), because of the torments of social interactions.
Click to expand...
number 3 and 5 is me,i want to be non verbal again as i do not like the verbal world i have been dragged into by people who told me it would make life easier.
 
korbin said:
-you got left in a office supply store because you wondered off to look at the fancy pens.
Click to expand...

I was left in a museum of natural history as a child, they returned two hours later to find me playing with fossils and minerals in a display. I hadn't noticed that they had left.
 
More:

You know that there are 266 different species of squirrels.

You have eaten the same breakfast every day for the past decade.

You try to use exactly 500 words when asked to write a 500 word essay.
 
Or as Nitro once mentioned to me, our need to arrive on whole numbers pertaining to the price and/or volume at the gasoline pump. Guilty as charged. :cool:
 
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All of these are pretty much true. I tend to do this when someone says hello to me. "Say what?"
 
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