Wistful hopes and hobbies lost.

[Owliet]

I have been thinking about this, and I was wondering if there are others that are also feeling the same. I used to have so many different hobbies and interests, and it is not because of “growing out of it” that I find myself have lost them. I guess I am fearful or something. I guess that I would like to restore some hobbies that I used to do.

Things lost:

Baking
Piano
Writing
Drawing
Reading a lot more than I do…

I used to be fixated on my more special interests. I used to be fixated on talking about them constantly (to some extent I still do) but I have lost the passionate spark that I would just talk and talk, or allow it to drive me. I thinK I’d like to get Better with actually doing them And finding that spark again.

Have you lost anything that you used to do?

 

[AprilR]

Yes, i don't do a lot of things i used to do. Like drawing and reading. But i feel like i can always get back to these things. So they are not lost to me.

 

[Owliet]

Yes, i don't do a lot of things i used to do. Like drawing and reading. But i feel like i can always get back to these things. So they are not lost to me.

I feel like I have lost some of them, I think most of it is because of lack of confidence. But they made me happy. I may not be the best, but I will really be trying to make an effort with trying to regain them.

 

[Markness]

I once believed playing the keyboard was my future. My struggles with reading sheet music and my mother scolding me because I couldn’t play a piece right on the piano put an end to that belief.

I took guitar lessons from 2003 through 2020 but I am honestly a poor guitar player. I can’t do certain techniques despite being shown how to do them and I mess up constantly when playing full songs. My guitar is currently collecting dust.

I have similar issues with drawing.

I thought I was going to get back into martial arts but my sparring partner stopped responding to my calls and texts.

 

[Angular Chap]

Yes, I'm a little annoyed that I've lost 2 special interests, and probably forever unfortunately.

The first one is military stuff. I used to collect all kinds of anything and everything military related. It's too hard for me to properly enjoy the hobby now with so much fear and ignorance.

The second thing I've lost is the ability to fully partake in shortwave radio listening. Sure I can go to a site or use an app to listen to radio anywhere in the world, but nothing beats listening to my own radios late at night, hearing shipping reports from other countries, cold war era numbers stations still transmitting to this day, decoding morse code from ham radio operators, all kinds of interesting things. Can't hear much now because of all the cheap, mass produced, poorly regulated electronics constantly plugged in, acting like radio jammers.

I wonder if your interests remind you of a happier time. Maybe you feel like you have lost the passionate spark if you are having a tough time right now? Maybe you feel nostalgic (the good kind, not the "rose tinted glasses" kind) for a time when you felt better?

On the bright side, your interests that you mentioned are things you can always get back into at some stage in future, lightly, heavily or somewhere in between. They can't easily be physically taken from you by fear, ignorance, or other changes like some of mine have.

I hope you can rekindle your own sparks!

 

[blue_bird]

I used to enjoy baking as well, but due to fatigue and medication related weight gain, I've given it up almost completely. I just don't have the feel for it anymore. It's not really due to lack of confidence but more due burnout and emotional overload.

 

[Sunny1]

I think emotional overload kills some of my passions because I am too drained to invest the energy. And I am too far from water!

 

[Mr. Stevens]

Have you lost anything that you used to do?

To an extent, yes. And I relate about talking less about my passions. I think this has more to do with depression, especially as a result of blending in too much to NT society. I'm trying to reclaim some of that now.

 

[Darkkin]

I need to do more with my watercolours. The templating has improved drastically and I would like to experiment with watercolour pencils.

 

[Slime_Punk]

I haven't really lost any that I didn't want to lose. I used to game a lot and that's pretty much gone, and I used to really like collecting things (for reasons I'll never understand), but they've been pushed aside for better ones.

I flirt with the idea from time to time of writing another instrumental metal album, but since nobody really listens to my music that I poured so much time and feelings into, I feel like it's a kind of wasted pursuit.

 

[Slime_Punk]

I took guitar lessons from 2003 through 2020 but I am honestly a poor guitar player. I can’t do certain techniques despite being shown how to do them and I mess up constantly when playing full songs. My guitar is currently collecting dust.

Do you enjoy playing? I still suck after many, many years but it always feels good to go back to it every once in a while. I've debated giving it up for similar reasons quite a lot, though, so I know what you mean.

 

[Rodafina]

I feel like I have lost some of them, I think most of it is because of lack of confidence

I am the same way. Lack of confidence leads to avoidance which leads to disappointment and lethargy for me.

I’m working on it though because I am learning that doing and learning interesting things is a hugely helpful coping strategy for when times get tough.

 

[Uppity Creek]

I tend to drift from one of my hobbies/interests to another and rarely will I totally abandon something. Now, like Angular Chap, radio has always been a big deal for me. I never listened to shortwave quite as much as broadcast band (especially AM or what folks outside north America would refer to as medium wave.) A couple years ago I bought a new refrigerator and it totally wiped out AM/SW at my house but I bought a big ferrite ring and wrapped the power cord around it as many times as I possibly could (even used an extension cord.) This cleared things right up. Of course, in a more urban area this wouldn't be enough.

The one sub-component of that interest was "police band" or scanners. At one time I had 2-3 units running 24-7 and one in each vehicle. I thoroughly enjoyed that, until technology changed and everything moved to new bands and digital formats. I never invested in the newer equipment and all my old stuff just gathers dust.

 

[Misery]

Yes, I did lose one, a big one, though... I'm not going to explain that directly, really. Here on the forums I'll talk about almost anything, but there are a couple of very specific exceptions, and THAT is one of them. Because currently that open wound just hurts too much to talk about. But there's nothing I can do...

Or so I thought, at least. TECHNICALLY, a potential route to getting that back has shown itself, but... only technically. Whether it's truly doable, I dont know yet. So for the time being, I'm really just trying to not think about it.

I once believed playing the keyboard was my future. My struggles with reading sheet music and my mother scolding me because I couldn’t play a piece right on the piano put an end to that belief.

I took guitar lessons from 2003 through 2020 but I am honestly a poor guitar player. I can’t do certain techniques despite being shown how to do them and I mess up constantly when playing full songs. My guitar is currently collecting dust.

I have similar issues with drawing.

Something I've learned through my art hobby/whatever is that this sort of thinking really is a trap.

Like, that sheet music thing, right. I ran into the *exact* same problem. Cant read sheet music. Visually, I cant quite process it (and also I'm very nearsighted and all those lines are so close together).

But... turns out, not all musicians actually use sheet music at all. It IS possible to learn to play without it (and there are all sorts of tutorials out there on this), but I didnt discover this until recently. I had allowed an assumption to keep me from playing at all for a bloody long time. In hindsight, that was pretty silly of me. I actually currently intend to FINALLY set up my ol' keyboard again and get back to it, I just have to actually figure out WHERE I will put it.

Same with drawing. There's this idea I see with many people, and that I previously had myself, where it's like "well I have to learn to draw LIKE THIS or it's not good". Schools of all types are particularly bad about this as they tend to instill that very idea into students' heads.

But what allowed me to FINALLY really get started with art, REALLY get into it and to start making things that even I think are nice, was to entirely abandon that idea.

Finding my OWN way of doing things... instead of trying to mimic the ways others do things (which is what most people do)... was the thing that sort of jumpstarted me with this stuff.

Remember, art is meant to be creative... not formulaic. That was the big lesson I had to learn. It's a lesson that I think could be applied to many different creative hobbies, really.

 

[Luca]

I used to be an athlete. I was a very accomplished soccer player for a long time, and I was a gymnast and even tried figure skating.
A genetic condition that started affecting me in young adulthood has stopped me from competing in sports.
That’s also one of the few things I won’t talk about on here. I will talk about pretty much anything except for that, detailed information about my family, and details of the abuse I went through (not because I don’t want to talk about it, but because most people find it physically sickening.)
I also won’t post pictures of irl people on here.
But anything else is fine. Sometimes discussing certain things is important.

Hairdressing is another interest I don’t really pursue anymore, after I left the training program many years ago due to people talking behind my back.
I also used to dye my hair all kinds of weird colors but now I prefer it natural (brown.)

I used to work as a DJ at a nightclub, and I went to nightclubs all the time when I was younger but that interest also faded with age and fatigue.

I used to like cars a lot growing up but after I sold my old car I got kind of disinterested. The car I have now is really boring.

I really liked rap music when I was younger, but I grew out of it and now I’m much more selective about it.

I played the saxophone when I was in high school and I would really like to play it again, but I don’t have the time or the patience anymore.

I know there are more, those are just the ones I can think of.

 

[SusanLR]

Physical disabilities have made a lot of things I was enthusiastic about just totally
impossible now. Tennis, fishing, walking in nature or theme parks.

Art, reading and cooking are things I enjoyed that I could do again once I adjust
to my new life abilities. Right now, most enthusiasm is gone as I work through
these issues.

 

[Owliet]

My struggles with reading sheet music and my mother scolding me because I couldn’t play a piece right on the piano put an end to that belief.

I used to play a few instruments: violin, piano and drums. The violin was my first musical instrument and whilst I wasn’t great at it because that takes years, I was good enough to be first violin in any musical performances that my school did — so I dont think I was that bad. My mom would constantly put me down for how “bad” I was. Eventually I stopped practising and stopped playing entirely. I think also sheet music is hard. Some people can quickly get it but it is still hard, especially if you’re self taught. My mom sounds a lot like your mom, and so I wonder if the reason why you lack confidence in this is because of your mom.

I wonder if your interests remind you of a happier time. Maybe you feel like you have lost the passionate spark if you are having a tough time right now? Maybe you feel nostalgic (the good kind, not the "rose tinted glasses" kind) for a time when you felt better?

Probably. Most of my interests even those not listed in my original post brought happiness to me. I dont think i really phased out of those interests but more about lack of confidence and worried about what people think. I gained a lot of freedom and happiness with most of my interests and special interests. And I am having a difficult time right now and every time I believe that I am no longer depressed or getting better, then something else comes to add to it. I dont feel happy within myself and I guess loss of what often kept me happy during those good times, yeah nostalgic is probably the right way to call it. It’s not like I dont do things now, but I’d like to just go back to doing what i used to do. I tell myself that I dont have time (which is not true) and I really need to stop that And just start doing things.

On the bright side, your interests that you mentioned are things you can always get back into at some stage in future, lightly, heavily or somewhere in between. They can't easily be physically taken from you by fear, ignorance, or other changes like some of mine have.

I hope you can rekindle your own sparks!

I hope that you can also rekindle your sparks-=)

I think this has more to do with depression, especially as a result of blending in too much to NT society. I'm trying to reclaim some of that now.

Yes, I think that is also a factor too. I keep thinking that I am not depressed because I may have a good week or a few months that aren’t bad but its possible that over the years, its not a lack of wanting to continue but i lack the willpower. It was the same with making costumes, and I picked that up again. With my special interests, I learned very early on that talking about the few things that really make me..me, was not something that was often welcomed. I would be told that I was boring and would be told that no one was interested. Going back to the nostalgic feelings like @Angular Chap said, i think those times were really happy for me the most whilst at University. I had friends, I had people who liked the same things as me, I was independent, I did new things and whilst it was difficult, I was not as down as I was. I was gaining confidence. I really need to reclaim this. It’s really not too late but I just have to just do it.

because I am learning that doing and learning interesting things is a hugely helpful coping strategy for when times get tough.

Yes, and I really need to find myself back to doing things that I used to do just to have a wide variety of things to cope for strategies when I may not be able to do iit. If I am in a highly stressful environment like a few days ago, I do this freeze And then well, go to the bathroom and hurt myself to calm down. I cant always go to the workshop, or go walking to let off steam. It is not always my go to thoughts. I used to write, I used to read and escape, I used to draw maps and make my own fantasy worlds, I used to make random excel spreadsheets of things, I used to research a to on a specific history interest although i haven’t really lost that but I guess I’ve gotten lazy over time and anything that does interest me, Its not always a “MUSt DO ThIS NOW”, its a “Ill do this later and later never comes. I wasn’t the best and drawing, but just sitting around and drawing something would be theraputetic for me. Piano, violin and bashing drums…Archery…tennis, and trying new things like badminton, baking, book club…yeah…Its not really an age thing. Or aging out. I used to collect dragon models, you know the kid toys that they have? Like this:

https://www.galaxus.ch/en/s5/product/schleich-ice-dragon-toy-figure-8089009?gclid=EAIaIQobChMIo7uw9Izv_AIVStiyCh3w3g68EAQYAiABEgJvNvD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds

With writing (fan fiction actually), I wasn’t bad at it and I just lost the spark. I even have old files still on my device. =/

 

[Mr. Stevens]

With my special interests, I learned very early on that talking about the few things that really make me..me, was not something that was often welcomed. I would be told that I was boring and would be told that no one was interested.

Yeah, totally. But, God forbid you treat other people that way. Then you're soulless and have no social skills