Why everyone should educate themselves on how to recognise a narcissist ...

[Homebrand]

I have unfortunately got this topic stuck in my brain today but suddenly thought what an important topic this could be to share with others.

Now days its not uncommon to hear people throwing around the term 'narcissist' but unless you've truely experienced the kind of abuse you will suffer If one of these people manages to weasel into your life your probably fairly clueless to how severe you could by made to suffer when having dealings with these people.

I've decided that this is a topic I need to share with others and truely hope you take the time to read so you can learn to recognise these people and realise before its too late how important it is to steer clear of them. In fact I'd actually suggest you run far away from these people as fast as possible.

Narcissistic Personality Disorder
- The hallmarks of Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) are grandiosity, a lack of empathy for other people, and a need for admiration. People with this condition are frequently described as arrogant, self-centered, manipulative, and demanding.
(I have to add a complete disregard for the rights of other unless the protection of the rights of others could in anyway benefit the NPD person).

Symptoms
Narcissistic personality disorder is indicated by five or more of the following symptoms:

• Exaggerates own importance
  
  
• Is preoccupied with fantasies of success, power, beauty, intelligence or ideal romance
  
  
• Believes he or she is special and can only be understood by other special people (Often other Narcissists) or institutions
  
  
• Requires constant attention and admiration from others
  
  
• Has unreasonable expectations of favorable treatment
  
  
• Takes advantage of others to reach his or her own goals
  
  
• Disregards the feelings of others, lacks empathy
  
  
• Is often envious of others or believes other people are envious of him or her
  
  
• Shows arrogant behaviors and attitudes

If you ever get the time and if you feel like it, I highly recommend this particular website for a really in-depth view and understanding of these people, there many deliberating behaviours and as well information on other 'Cluster - B' personality types and ways to deal with these people if your unfortunate like me and have managed to get stuck with a NPD person in your life. This website has some really great read but also I feel its one website that truely understands and explains the level of abuse you will likely suffer if you let a NPD person into your life.

http://flyingmonkeysdenied.com/what-is-narcissistic-personality-disorder/

If you have been targeted for abuse by a narcissistic person or group of narcissistic peers who have banded together to bully, intimidate, or shame you while they stimulate their own sadistic perverse streak during the act of mobbing, don’t think you are alone. With an estimated 6% of the global population meeting diagnostic criteria for having this sort of personality disorder, very few people on the planet have not come across one of these toxic people in their lifetime.

One of the best ways to determine if a person has NPD or not is to simply listen to them talk.

Grandiose to the extreme and utterly egocentric, it’s difficult for them to praise other people or even validate opinions that are not in accordance or agreement with their own.

1. Listen for caustic ad hominem attacks on people or groups of people by stereotype.
2. Pay attention to irrational conversation tactic use life deliberate obfuscation or truth, revisionist history writing, or word salad.
3. Watch for changes in eye contact or body posture as a puffed up narcissist trying to convince someone to bend to their will or agree with a clearly ridiculous and/or illogical statement they know is false by using their physicality to intimidate them.
4. Then, pay careful attention to what seems to psychologically (albeit irrationally) insult or anger the person whose nature or temperament is in question.

Narcissistic people oftentimes experience what is known as “narcissistic injury”. They seem to take offence at random times then target a person, scapegoat, or group of scapegoated targets for what can only be described as punishment.


Actually I really think I have to add a little about another similar disorder.

Anti Social Personality Disorder (ASPD)
Not only can folks be considered Anti-Social in general (a mild condition that emotionally disconnects a person from friends, family, and all others not like them among humanity), there are more extreme personality disorders like fully blown Sociopathy or Psychopathy, Malignant Narcissists, and other people who have comorbid conditions like Narcopaths (people whose fundamental core nature is extremely sociopathic and narcissistic by diagnostic criteria at the same time).

In children, the precursor to having Anti-Social Personality Disorder is something called “Childhood Conduct Disorder”. Children with such personality types have roughly a 50/50 chance of developing the condition when full-grown.

IMPORTANT!!!
People with ASPD tend to seek out and find others like themselves. They prefer to use and abuse Empaths, People Pleasers, and people with high levels of emotional sensitivity.
(Personally I strongly believe most abusers have a preference for empaths and HSP because we are often likely to keep considering the rights of people around us and keep show them compassion despite the fact our own rights are likely being abused or disregarded. We give and give and give! I can tell you that in my own toxic relationship, I have considered what the abuser wanted as he broke down before my eyes, he wanted me to stay with him in the relationship. I put what he wanted before myself and what I wanted, which was to leave the relationship.)

If you are a kind person, expect the mind control and psychological games that all ASPD thinkers play to have a dramatic impact on your life, health, and family members each and every day.

If you are targeted romantically by one, end the social and emotional enmeshment as quickly as possible.


Is Your Partner a Narcissist? Checklist

1. When something goes wrong, does your partner blame everyone but himself or herself?
2. Does your partner refuse to be accountable for his or her bad behavior? (For example, “You made me so mad that I couldn’t help . . .”)
3. Does your partner believe he or she is always right?
4. Is your partner unable to tune in to your feelings or your children’s feelings?
5. Does your partner seem more concerned about how your behavior or your children’s behavior reflects on him or her than on understanding and accepting who you and the kids are as people?
6. Does your partner seem to be out of touch with his or her own feelings or seem to deny them?
7. Does your partner carry grudges against you and others?
8. Is it all about your partner and his/her money, time, parenting time, property, and wishes/demands?
9. Does your partner seem unwilling to listen to you and to hear your concerns?
10. Is your partner constantly telling you what to do?

This is just the first 10 examples in a list of 50 and again if you are interested in learning more please check out the above link.

The family unit epitomizes narcissistic values and entitlement thinking. Personality types of atypical people — those viewed as the creators of chaos or purveyors of bullying behaviors — include people with the following natures:

1. Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD)
2. Anti-Social Personality Disorder (ASPD)
   1. Sociopaths
   2. Psychopaths
3. Histrionic Personality Disorder (HPD)
4. Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)
5. Malignant Narcissists (MN)
6. Narcopaths Narcissistic Sociopaths)
7. Dark Triad (Malignant Narcissistic ASPD)
8. Those with TBI (Traumatic Brain Injuries)
9. Those under the age of 4 (children); those functionally impaired by physical age or mental handicap
10. Those with addictions issues (including but not limited to drugs, alcohol, gambling habits, compulsive spending issues, or sex addictions)

Please note it is critically important to note that people with personality disorders are not sick. They have unusual and caustic temperaments.

Several kinds of Cluster B personality types are considered “untreatable” for this reason. Because there is no illness, technically speaking there can be nothing to cure.


Honestly I'm kinda done with typing so I'm just gonna end it there but please feel free to tell me of your own experience with people like this in your life or ask any questions or whatever.

 

[Mary Anne]

Anyone living in the USA knows what a “narcissist” is...our current president.

 

[Suzanne]

I guess to protect oneself against them as they are extremely distructive.

 

[Judge]

It is interesting to see how much information there is out there from professional sources on the correlation between recognized autocrats and narcissists.

 

[Suzanne]

It is interesting to see how much information there is out there from professional sources on the correlation between recognized autocrats and narcissists.

Did you watch any of the royal wedding? Well, there was a part where famous guests were arriving and the beckems arrived ( David and Victoria). He broke away from his wife ( holding hands) and walked over to a "peasant" who had been invited due to being a survivor of the Manchester bombing and had a selfie with her. But it was his wife's reaction that really caught my eye. She had a look of pure disgust on her face and moving as far away as she could and looking annoyed that her husband allowed himself to mix with the "common girl". That is narcissim lol

 

[Judge]

Did you watch any of the royal wedding? Well, there was a part where famous guests were arriving and the beckems arrived ( David and Victoria). He broke away from his wife ( holding hands) and walked over to a "peasant" who had been invited due to being a survivor of the Manchester bombing and had a selfie with her. But it was his wife's reaction that really caught my eye. She had a look of pure disgust on her face and moving as far away as she could and looking annoyed that her husband allowed himself to mix with the "common girl". That is narcissim lol

Interesting. No, I didn't see the wedding itself.

Though when I mentioned autocrats, this is a reference to heads of states who truly wield power and in a brutal fashion as opposed to constitutional monarchs and their families who really are only political figureheads.

LOL...but yeah, you have to wonder how many royals and/or celebrities may just carry on like that. A life of wealth and privilege seems the perfect catalyst for narcissistic tendencies.

 

[Mary Anne]

Did you watch any of the royal wedding? Well, there was a part where famous guests were arriving and the beckems arrived ( David and Victoria). He broke away from his wife ( holding hands) and walked over to a "peasant" who had been invited due to being a survivor of the Manchester bombing and had a selfie with her. But it was his wife's reaction that really caught my eye. She had a look of pure disgust on her face and moving as far away as she could and looking annoyed that her husband allowed himself to mix with the "common girl". That is narcissim lol

Do you know for sure that was why she had that look on her face? No, you interpreted it. I too, am called out on my facial expressions at times, especially at work in the past. I assure you, that my expressions never had ANYTHING to do with what people interpreted them to be.
If I had to endure all those crowds and cameras, I too would have been making disgusting expressions all day long. One cannot “assume” and it is dangerous to do so.

 

[Fridgemagnetman]

Do you know for sure that was why she had that look on her face? No, you interpreted it. I too, am called out on my facial expressions at times, especially at work in the past. I assure you, that my expressions never had ANYTHING to do with what people interpreted them to be.
If I had to endure all those crowds and cameras, I too would have been making disgusting expressions all day long. One cannot “assume” and it is dangerous to do so.

My take is she couldn't move her face or it would break.

 

[Suzanne]

Anyone living in the USA knows what a “narcissist” is...our current president. He is abusive and continues to destroy the lives of many people, from women, to immigrants, to anyone disagreeing with his point of view.

Yet, the press secretary is a woman and a mother at that. He has many women who talk highly of him. So, not sure how he is abusive, unless you are a lover of CNN?

Do you know for sure that was why she had that look on her face? No, you interpreted it. I too, am called out on my facial expressions at times, especially at work in the past. I assure you, that my expressions never had ANYTHING to do with what people interpreted them to be.
If I had to endure all those crowds and cameras, I too would have been making disgusting expressions all day long. One cannot “assume” and it is dangerous to do so.

You need to watch the video of this account on youtube, to see what I mean.

 

[Theta.G]

Narcs are nothing to worry about. Comparatively easy to deal with. Sociopaths on the otherhand...

 

[Judge]

You need to watch the video of this account on youtube, to see what I mean.

Apparently there are countless videos capturing Victoria Beckham's demeanor throughout the day during this event. After seeing enough of them, I'm pretty certain this wasn't a display of narcissism on her part. Nor a case of RBF.

Seemed more like something else was very much on her mind. And yes, the media have speculated on that as well. An alleged issue of marital strife that occurred a few days before the royal wedding.

The media seemed pretty harsh about it all. Making a common assertion that public figures in entertainment have an indefinite duty owed to their audience.

 

[RetiredDinner]

Anyone living in the USA knows what a “narcissist” is...our current president. He is abusive and continues to destroy the lives of many people, from women, to immigrants, to anyone disagreeing with his point of view.

Whose lives has Trump ruined? And why? Specifically, how has he destroyed the lives of many women and immigrants?

 

[VioletHaze_03]

As someone who has seen the manipulation and grief that narcissists cause, i get that you would want to steer clear of them. But you're generalizing here, and stereotyping a group of people who genuinely need help. ASPD and NPD can be caused from childhood abuse and trauma. Those who were abused as children have a higher risk of continuing the cycle when they start their own families. If you're saying that "All narcissists should be shunned" You're including those who have suffered abuse. Would you run away from a survivor of child abuse? Would you go on a forum to say how horrible an abused child is? Would you tell people to shun them? Because that's what you're doing. Now, for my second point: NPD and ASPD are disabilities, just like autism. The brain is chemically altered in those with personality disorders (Smaller frontal lobe in antisocial patients, for example). You're on a forum for those with disabilities telling us to shun those with disabilities. Think about that for a moment. Third point: Narcissism is a spectrum, as well as ASPD. Functional psychopaths exist, just like functional aspies exist. They may have intrusive thoughts or manipulate someone from time to time, but they're not sadistic or abusive. I know a so called "functional psychopath." She's a normal high school girl, a few years behind me. We can have deep conversations about things NTs would be highly concerned by (Why plotting theoretical murders to baffle the theoretical police at 3 am is calming, why it's okay to manipulate people sometimes, why fries in a bowl is technically a salad). She's one of the few people who has never made any fuss about my autism, and never ostracizes me for my infinite list of issues, and she always seems to be laughing or making a joke. Even though she hates socializing, she'll let anyone sit at our lunch table, and is happy to help and support them with whatever they need, be it homework or dating advice. She gets straight A's in school and is hoping to become a cop in the future. Would you run away from this girl? Last point. People with disabilities need to learn to navigate the world. People with conduct disorders don't have that help yet, and this is why we see abuse. Instead of coming up with stratagies to improve the quality of life for this population, we've stigmatized them as "crazies." All people with disabilities are people. You can't label a whole group of people because you had a bad experience with one. If you write a whole group off, you're just as toxic as them.

 

[Mary Terry]

Narcissistic personality disorder and other cluster B disorders most certainly can be mental illness complete with breaks with reality for which they need in patient psychiatric care. It is a spectrum disorder. Everyone needs some degree of narcissism to survive and thrive. But when someone is so narcissistic as to have breaks with reality, then they are profoundly mentally ill. Prisons are full of these people and I've read that almost all serial killers are narcs. They are incapable of empathy just like sociopaths.

I speak from 60+ years of experience with a profoundly narcissistic and histrionic father who scapegoated me since I was 10 years old. My advice for anyone who has to deal with these sick people is to go "no contact". It will save your soul and your life. Their appetite for attention and admiration can never be satisfied and they will do ANYTHING to get their narcissistic supply. Hell hath no fury like a narcissist ignored - or scorned.

 

[Mary Terry]

While NPD is a disability, it is also a mental illness. If you're hanging out with a narc, then you are being used whether you realize it or not. It is totally different from autism.

 

[Sid Delicious]

This topic has come up a few times recently. Having grown up with a narcissistic father, I would also strongly advise little to no contact if you are already struggling with your own issues. I believe in giving everyone a second chance if they are genuinely wanting to change and seeking help, but unless the individual is willing to admit they have problems and get professional help then you cannot fix them and are likely to get hurt. Much the same as trying to capture and heal an angry wild tiger with a broken leg when you have no equipment or skills in that area and are already dealing with your own broken leg. Leave it to the professionals.

 

[Mary Terry]

As someone who has seen the manipulation and grief that narcissists cause, i get that you would want to steer clear of them. But you're generalizing here, and stereotyping a group of people who genuinely need help. ASPD and NPD can be caused from childhood abuse and trauma. Those who were abused as children have a higher risk of continuing the cycle when they start their own families. If you're saying that "All narcissists should be shunned" You're including those who have suffered abuse. Would you run away from a survivor of child abuse? Would you go on a forum to say how horrible an abused child is? Would you tell people to shun them? Because that's what you're doing. Now, for my second point: NPD and ASPD are disabilities, just like autism. The brain is chemically altered in those with personality disorders (Smaller frontal lobe in antisocial patients, for example). You're on a forum for those with disabilities telling us to shun those with disabilities. Think about that for a moment. Third point: Narcissism is a spectrum, as well as ASPD. Functional psychopaths exist, just like functional aspies exist. They may have intrusive thoughts or manipulate someone from time to time, but they're not sadistic or abusive. I know a so called "functional psychopath." She's a normal high school girl, a few years behind me. We can have deep conversations about things NTs would be highly concerned by (Why plotting theoretical murders to baffle the theoretical police at 3 am is calming, why it's okay to manipulate people sometimes, why fries in a bowl is technically a salad). She's one of the few people who has never made any fuss about my autism, and never ostracizes me for my infinite list of issues, and she always seems to be laughing or making a joke. Even though she hates socializing, she'll let anyone sit at our lunch table, and is happy to help and support them with whatever they need, be it homework or dating advice. She gets straight A's in school and is hoping to become a cop in the future. Would you run away from this girl? Last point. People with disabilities need to learn to navigate the world. People with conduct disorders don't have that help yet, and this is why we see abuse. Instead of coming up with stratagies to improve the quality of life for this population, we've stigmatized them as "crazies." All people with disabilities are people. You can't label a whole group of people because you had a bad experience with one. If you write a whole group off, you're just as toxic as them.

I hardly know where to begin in response to you but I'll try.

No one knows what causes NPD but it tends to run in families. It could be genetic or environmental or a combination thereof.

Just because someone was abused in childhood does NOT give them the right to abuse their own children or anyone else. To say they have that right sounds just like something a narc would say to justify their abuse of their own children. Some of my siblings and I were abused in childhood but NONE of us has the right to abuse our children or anyone else. I have PTSD from childhood abuse by my father.

This forum is about people on the autism spectrum - not people with mental illness or "disabilities" in general.

A wise person shuns a person whose mental illness cannot be treated, for which there is no medication, and which is clearly a disability to their ability to function in the real world. Narcs never seek medical/psychiatric help unless and until their families demand it or their worlds fall apart to the point that they seek help to reinstate themselves as kings/queens of the universe. They are grandiose. Always. There is NO effective treatment for them. Long term talk therapy might help a little but they rarely go for help because, after all, they are all brilliant, know more than any professional therapist, and their **** never stinks. There is no cure. They have sick, unalterable minds.

Full blown narcs are always abusive, sadistic, manipulative, and totally lacking in empathy but have high "emotional IQs" in that they know HOW to hurt and manipulate others. They know normal people have feelings altho they themselves feel absolutely none of those normal feelings or emotions. They exploit others using that information. They are essentially emotionally dead inside and get their high I(narcissistic supply) by hurting others because that allows them to "feel" something that they know is lacking in themselves.

It is healthy and honest for a person who has PTSD from lifelong abuse by a narc, such as myself, to share on a website their pain caused by the narc. Many people on the autism spectrum come here to talk about bulling and abuse from NTs. People who were bullied and abused by a narc have the same right.

You're suggesting that we are toxic victims of narcs. What the heck are you talking about? The narcs are toxic to their victims, not the reverse.

Wow, you really triggered a PTSD flashback for me. I hope you do some more reading on the subject and stay away from your toxic narc friends who are filling your head with nonsense.

 

[Homebrand]

Anyone living in the USA knows what a “narcissist” is...our current president. He is abusive and continues to destroy the lives of many people, from women, to immigrants, to anyone disagreeing with his point of view.

Even outside your country I'd say half the world would share this view of that guy.

 

[Mary Terry]

Even outside your country I'd say half the world would share this view of that guy.

I totally agree. Trump exhibits many traits of full blown narcissistic personality disorder - the incessant lying, manipulation, deflection of truth, need for attention and admiration, apparent promiscuity... multiple trophy wives, absentee father syndrome, blatant inflation of accomplishments such as net worth, lack of empathy ...blah, blah, blah. He's classic, IMHO.

 

[Homebrand]

As someone who has seen the manipulation and grief that narcissists cause, i get that you would want to steer clear of them. But you're generalizing here, and stereotyping a group of people who genuinely need help. ASPD and NPD can be caused from childhood abuse and trauma. Those who were abused as children have a higher risk of continuing the cycle when they start their own families. If you're saying that "All narcissists should be shunned" You're including those who have suffered abuse. Would you run away from a survivor of child abuse? Would you go on a forum to say how horrible an abused child is? Would you tell people to shun them? Because that's what you're doing. Now, for my second point: NPD and ASPD are disabilities, just like autism. The brain is chemically altered in those with personality disorders (Smaller frontal lobe in antisocial patients, for example). You're on a forum for those with disabilities telling us to shun those with disabilities. Think about that for a moment. Third point: Narcissism is a spectrum, as well as ASPD. Functional psychopaths exist, just like functional aspies exist. They may have intrusive thoughts or manipulate someone from time to time, but they're not sadistic or abusive. I know a so called "functional psychopath." She's a normal high school girl, a few years behind me. We can have deep conversations about things NTs would be highly concerned by (Why plotting theoretical murders to baffle the theoretical police at 3 am is calming, why it's okay to manipulate people sometimes, why fries in a bowl is technically a salad). She's one of the few people who has never made any fuss about my autism, and never ostracizes me for my infinite list of issues, and she always seems to be laughing or making a joke. Even though she hates socializing, she'll let anyone sit at our lunch table, and is happy to help and support them with whatever they need, be it homework or dating advice. She gets straight A's in school and is hoping to become a cop in the future. Would you run away from this girl? Last point. People with disabilities need to learn to navigate the world. People with conduct disorders don't have that help yet, and this is why we see abuse. Instead of coming up with stratagies to improve the quality of life for this population, we've stigmatized them as "crazies." All people with disabilities are people. You can't label a whole group of people because you had a bad experience with one. If you write a whole group off, you're just as toxic as them.

Sorry to burst your bubble but your really preaching to the wrong choir here. Your accusing me of prejudice and also assuming I have no regards for abused children and you haven't just missed the mark here. Also you yourself are acting like it's totally acceptable to make numerous judgement against me and like thats justifiable because you disagree with my particular opinions, lol go figure.
In future you might want to gather a little more information on the person am and maybe ask a few more questions first if your unable to wrap your head around why hold these particular views.
I didn't mention this in my original post but should probably try to explain why I personally have deep issues with these people.
I've been dealing with one person and their behaviours for last ten years, yes, but honestly don't never just assume you have they entire picture. I spent the first 16 years of my life living with an abuser that I'd classify as having co-mobid personality disorders. Honestly I couldn't care less about a persons particular label/s, for me its psychological and emotional abuse the is of far greater concern. Including all the various tactics used in abuse, all the tactics used to deny the abuse, Its what it feel like to spend years with people who take pleasure in seeing you suffer and so turn this into a sport or game for them, Its the particular way you feel when another person constantly exercises their various tactics to assume full power and control over you if and when you will be allowed moments of realise from there abuse ect. As a young child for my I experienced times when my mother completely remove all forms of affection and this could last for hour or at worst a day. There were times when I was told me mother needed me to just go and "entertain myself for a while" as she like to put it. This to her usually looked like her disappearing into her upstairs loft for 1-2 days and I was left in complete isolation except when she came down briefly to get me food. During these times her entire demeanour was cold unless I tried to bother her, then Id suffer her intense anger. Honestly I think anger towards was a favourite attitude over the whole 16 years. As I got older I suffer these rages that could last literally for months and day and day after day during these times I was hit with what I personally call verbal assault which was her ability to rant for hours on end at my and all inclusive other any way she could think of to run my down and blame me and tell me how hard it was for her to look after me day after day and how every thing revolved around me and how I had no respect for her ect. and so on.
Tbh I could gone on with particulars but I truely believe that if you yourself have been lucky enough not have dealing with this kind of person and the abuse, I'm not sure you could even really understand what its like.
Anyway at 16 I was removed from this persons care and placed with the state and the day that happened if probably the most important day in my childhood because of how free I suddenly felt. I vowed to never become trapped like this ever again with somebody like this. However It perhaps to late and enough damage had been down and within just 3 years I end up with someone else who treats me basically the same. Unfortunately repeated cycles of abuse like this aren't uncommon.
So out of my entire 29 years of live I have 26 of those years living with abusive people and experience a rate of abuse at about an every age of every second day. I really think theres absolutely no need for you to act so high and mighty when from what you've described, the only person with a PD that you've encountered doesn't even display and kind of abuse toward others. I think a better attitude might be to infect count your lucky stars that the people I'm referring to haven't been a part of your life.
And I don't say this with any judgments of your particular friend but the way you describe this person doesn't sound like any description of a psychopath I've ever heard of, however that just considering the knowledge I have. Perhaps you know something I don't.
Honestly If am indeed bias with (not the labels but behaviours) of people with a PD I don't particularly care and when I personally consider all of MY life experiences of abuse by these kinds of people, I actually think in my particular case my views aren't that hard to understand.