Why do some people do this?

[autism-and-autotune]

I don’t look for acknowledgment from strangers in bars, but sometimes I like to strike up a conversation with someone I don’t know, just for fun.

I wish I could do this...sometimes :/

 

[Mr. Stevens]

I wish I could do this...sometimes :/

I don't want to project onto other people here, but I wonder if this is really so hard for us. There are times I've approached people in public, or been able to joke with them, and had no problem. I was also recharged and not in a highly stimulating environment. Even with Allistic people this was easy, in small doses.

But, if we're interacting with those who communicate differently, for long periods of time, this will certainly be taxing. If we're in places which cause sensory overload, this will drain us, too. So it's easy to think we're no good at socializing, or being spontaneous, because we're rarely allowed to try. Instead, we're told we have "social anxiety," which is like this vague, judgmental catchall. I'm not afraid of socializing, I'm afraid of eye contact. And noise. I'm afraid of listening to another Allistic person monologue about their personal life and ideology, mistaking my quietness for low intellect and patience--not the lack of enthusiasm it is. (Talk about ignoring social cues.)

It isn't "social anxiety," but anxiety from masking. I think what we fear is having to look and act just right, to avoid rejection, tantrums, and abuse. This term "social anxiety" that gets thrown at us so much is just self-serving to me. I think we're perfectly social, especially with other Autistics.

 

[Aspergers_Aspie]

I have to try really hard not to say something! This guy in a bar not far from me is making the most loud and disgusting noise eating a burger, with his mouth open! He seems middle class and his fifties. I find it hard to believe he hasn't of manners

 

[Aspergers_Aspie]

Around 2009. I used to live in a different area, I used to visit the library, I used to get along very well with a member of staff, one day I was chatting to her and while I was a guy was stood trying to stare at me, trying to provoke me, I wasn't doing anything wrong, I left then went into the upstairs section of the library and I asked the guy why, he denied it, but only him and I knew what he done. Between 2017 and 2018 I used to date someone, in supermarkets some people would try and stare at me and provoke me and one time we were in a restaurant and another time in a juice bar. I tell you if someone is that to me when I am on my own I won't have any reason to try and control myself. I won't let anyone away with trying to provoke me when I am doing nothing wrong and minding my own business. (In general I have zero respect for anyone trying to be wicked instead of trying to be good and making the most of life)
Those minding their own business doing nothing wrong cause nothing, those trying to be wicked cause everything

 

[Aspergers_Aspie]

The staff don' t ban people who talk about others and stare at them in coffee shops. I don't know about America but if you go to a pub here you get those who look out for fights

 

[WildCat]

If you've had a couple drinks at the bar or pub...unless you're not the type who loses their inhibition (the thing that keeps you from acting on your impulses, from good to bad) easily or doesn't take to alcohol very well, you'll find out why.

I know it's been said and this is an older thread, but I can say from experience that's what a couple of drinks can do. More than that and...well, it depends on the person. This, by the way, is coming from someone who by default minds their own business and rarely strikes up conversation out of the blue a majority of the time.

Even if you're not drinking, it's still considered a social venue much like going to the club, a party, concert, etc. You'll find lots of people winding down from a stressful day and/or week and much more eager to strike up friendly conversation and have fun when they're having a relatively better time.

 

[Aspergers_Aspie]

I am not paranoid. I have proof that others are aware of things like this. I askes the manager and support worker of the autism charity where I am registere, if some people stare at others through malicious reasons and he answered yes.
I have been minding my own business on lots of occasions for example at a bus stop, in a shop or sitting a cafe and some people have stared at me.

 

[Misty Avich]

It's annoying when some people do it generally too, for example fake coughing in a library can put you off, you could be sending an important email to, or be studying!

I rather someone coughing (fake or not) in a library than hearing a toddler have the world's loudest screaming meltdown lol.

 

[Aspergers_Aspie]

as well as fake coughing there are glucking noises some poeple make to to people who are minding their own business doing nothing wrong

 

[Aspergers_Aspie]

I don't know why some people serving a cafe give a very runny egg in an egg roll. It all spills on my face and clothes and I have wasted money on it