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Featured Why do NT people enjoy playing seemingly boring and childish group activities?

Discussion in 'General Autism Discussion' started by Libecht, May 13, 2017.

  1. Libecht

    Libecht Well-Known Member

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    Most ice breaker activities/games (or any other group activities) look really childish and silly to me. For example, poking each others' noses, pretending to be a frog, or smashing cream pies.
    Those are games for kids, yet many adults seem to enjoy it and act like a 12-year-old. I just don't understand! We're grown-ups, shouldn't we be discussing a new movie or the conflict in North Korea? Are we Aspies more mature? What happens to an NT's brain when he plays such silly games? How can they enjoy themselves when I'm embarrassed as hell?
     
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  2. bon vide

    bon vide cat lord

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    i dont know about everything else but ice breaker games are pretty awkward. sometimes they get the job done, as far as introductions go though?
     
  3. Judge

    Judge Well-Known Member

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    Don't ask me. I'm allergic to most any socialization rituals and manifestations of fellowship in general.

    Does this make me a bad person? I don't think so.
     
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  4. xudo

    xudo something V.I.P Member

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    Ice-breaker games sound horrific. Don't get me wrong, I'm pretty immature but I can also hold a mature, grown-up conversation about what's going on in the world.
     
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  5. WereBear

    WereBear License to Weird V.I.P Member

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    @bon vide , I was intrigued by your signature. Turns out, I am BEASTMASTER.

    Oh, games. I like chatting while playing board games. There's something to do besides coming up with things to say; takes the pressure off.

    And I still love old Warner Brothers cartoons.
     
  6. Misery

    Misery Photo-Negative

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    Here's an important question: Why worry so much about looking "mature"? And what IS maturity, really?

    I've seen so many people struggle with this one, and I DONT mean just Aspies. I've watched people set aside and ignore things that they very, very clearly love just to appear "mature" to others, watched them be generally miserable in social situations (and have had to hear about how awful it was afterwards) and honestly... I facepalm every single time.

    Maturity isnt about simply following others blindly, or constantly wondering about how perfect you look in front of others. To me, maturity is being adult enough to make your OWN decisions, do your OWN things. Me? I play video games. I go to anime conventions, and yes, I get into costume. I will make assorted squeaking noises at dogs/cats that I'm with, which seems to entertain everyone (particularly the dog/cat, which is the point). And the way I see it, if someone else has a problem with any of this... it's THEIR problem, not mine. I'm a grown adult: I'll bloody well do as I like, thanks. Anyone that would genuinely judge me badly for any of this? They sure as bloody heck aint my friends anyway, are they? So they can just shove off. Heck, even within the gaming hobby, I dont just stick to "mature" games... I play whatever I darned well please.

    This holds true for conversation, too. I could rant for hours about gaming, or whatever stupid thing my computer did last night, or talk about anime. But if someone starts going on about politics (UGH), or North Korea, or whatever? I become nearly silent, or simply wander off, because I have no interest and I'm not about to pretend otherwise. In some specific cases, too much of this will get me to snap a bit, if anyone is trying to force me into those sorts of topics (as such, nobody tries anymore). If they dont like it, well... tough. They should be seeking out other like-minded individuals, instead of someone who would be just PRETENDING at it.

    Which I think is another very important part of this. With me being the way I am, I've tended to not just gravitate towards, but also attract, people that are also into the sorts of things I am. Other adults that may be total geeks, or whatever. And this has led to lasting friendships where nobody is bothering to pretend at anything. My friends can be pretty darned silly at times, and frankly, I think it's great that they find themselves comfortable enough to be like that. Of course, in some situations when others are around, they'll go through the whole miserable "pretending to be like these other guys" bit (and you can just read the unpleasantness of it in their faces and voices the whole time, and again I sometimes get to hear about it after the fact) and as always, it hurts to watch. It just furthers the idea that being yourself, instead of being what others think you should be, is important. Whatever that may involve.



    Now on a side note here.... what the heck is an "icebreaker game"? Outside of some of the more caffeinated anime conventions, I cant say I've seen groups of people acting like frogs very often.
     
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  7. Gritches

    Gritches Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Unlike most things NTs do, icebreakers/group activities/games do actually have a straightforward purpose.

    NTs are actually very reserved. They protect their vulnerabilities with a facade of shallow friendliness that allows them to keep any sort of interpersonal intimacy at arm's length. This is also the purpose of small-talk; you must first small-talk NTs before they feel comfortable enough with you to move on to the big-talk that we usually prefer to just jump right into. So basically, NTs enter any social situation with their own sort of mask that protects them from the intimacy they find threatening.

    With that in mind, realize that the NT mask allows NTs to hide safely behind the mask and propagate a social situation with that infamous NT mindless chatter without having to take any sort of social risk talking about things that matter. This has an effect on collaboration; with NTs remaining frosty to one another they may be unwilling to speak on anything important for fear of offending anyone.

    The purpose of icebreakers/group activities/games is to diffuse the pretense and obliterate the tension by forcing NTs out from behind their mask and show their vulnerabilities to others in the group by performing mildly humiliating tasks. Once that "ice" is broken for the first time, it's likely that a NT will be less afraid to show their vulnerabilities and take the social risks that promote group cohesion and thus progress on whatever project is at hand, thus cutting out hours and hours of mindless chatter that would usually have to be had to possibly produce those feelings of interpersonal comfort that allows NTs to cut through the bullshit a little bit and do something meaningful.

    But still, ugh.
     
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  8. NothingToSeeHere

    NothingToSeeHere Asexuowl V.I.P Member

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    As Gritches said, being silly and childish is the whole point of icebreaker games, they get everyone to be silly together in order to get past the awkward 'getting to know you' stage and let everyone drop their walls and bond quickly. If you're all doing something equally stupid and embarrassing together there is no need to feel awkward about the fact that you can't remember each others names. Not everyone enjoys them of course, some people find them boring or embarrassing, and some people just relax and embrace the chance to have lots of childish fun. I am one of the latter group, despite being as aspie.
     
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  9. Mary Terry

    Mary Terry Active Member

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  10. Suzanne

    Suzanne Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    I get the point and ice breakers certainly work with GARGARIOUS people.

    I have avoided groups, because of the sheer panic that I would have to participate in such stupid behaviour; ok, not stupid; just plain embarrassing.

    But, going back to your main question: the world is cruel and so, NT's need an outlit, to tap into their childish parts; whereas, you know, we aspies are already tapped in really, but in the way of stimming and reacting "childishly" to something that makes us happy. NT's tend to be very restrained. Bogged down with the correct behaviour; whereas we struggle knowing that, so tend to "walk out of the box".

    My fun time is talking about things, most people get a headache from lol
     
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  11. bon vide

    bon vide cat lord

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    awesome !! also i agree about the board games
     
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  12. Sir Les Patterson

    Sir Les Patterson Well-Known Member

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    People are weird.
     
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  13. wight

    wight Well-Known Member

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    As noted above, these "games" serve a psycho-social purpose in group settings. However, that does not explain how much enjoyment people seem to get from them.
     
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  14. nagibator

    nagibator Member

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    Look up the term banter. Look up the term teasing.
    Essentially those games allow you to interact. It's like a new social space that is created ad hoc with participants in it.
     
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  15. Fridgemagnetman

    Fridgemagnetman I only have one V.I.P Member

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    Are we neg hoc?

    Who is hoc?

    Don't mock the hoc.

    Or am I thinking of someone else...

    [​IMG]
     
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  16. Priti1968

    Priti1968 Love my guy

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    Hi everyone I am not on the spectrum but I am dating a great man with Asberger's. I can tell you that I enjoy silly games because they are fun. I personally do whatever I want. I love doing fun things and usually people thing I'm a bit strange. I'm 49 and if I'm at a park with my young nephews you will find me running around or on the monkey bars. Ice breakers get people to relax. Some people are guarded or have anxiety and it helps them interact. I never needed those myself but heck they are fun. By the way I'm an internal Medicine doctor and can be professional and discuss cases with others too. Being an adult is being free to be yourself without caring who is looking or judging you. Have a beautiful day my beautiful people.
     
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  17. Bolletje

    Bolletje Well-Known Member

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    So nice to see another medical professional here! Internal medicine is awesome :) I'm in my final year as an intern, getting my medical license this fall.
     
  18. Ylva

    Ylva Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Wait, they enjoy it?

    I always thought they were just as uncomfortable as me. Now I will never be able to perform one of those awkward things again.

    Maybe this is also childhood conditioning. NTs spend their early childhoods being included and pretend playing and not being made to feel bad for being themselves, so naturally they associate it with feeling good, I guess.
     
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  19. HermanHesse

    HermanHesse Well-Known Member

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    I found those games childish when I was 12. Don't knock 12 year olds.
     
  20. ZebraAspie

    ZebraAspie Well-Known Member

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    Agreed I hate it when you start collagl etc and make us play these stupid games to get know each other. What's wrong with having a conversation?