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When you know you'll never look into a good person's eyes again.

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by Major Tom, Feb 8, 2020.

  1. Major Tom

    Major Tom Searching for ground control... V.I.P Member

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    So today I went with my wife and mother-in-law to see my wife's aunt and uncle. They are really good people, they've always treated us so well and lived their lives with dignity and their children were everything to them. (Which I really respect). Even though I'm a foreigner living in a strange land, they've always treated me the same as they would anyone else. In the past when we lived closer, I'd go over and have beers and play guitar with my wife's uncle. We had some really good times together. I felt a kinship with her uncle and aunt that I rarely felt here or anywhere really.

    Today when I went there, I knew that my wife's uncle wasn't doing well physically. He was in a little better condition than I had expected, but still it was hard to see my old beer drinking, guitar playing compatriot in such rough shape.

    We had all of 15 minutes alone with my wife's aunt and uncle before the visitors started to arrive. (Their children and children's children). I like them too, but things got loud and multiple conversations at once all in a foreign language. Whether or not it's a foreign language I'm sure a lot of you know how it goes. I found myself smiling and nodding but not being able to take in much of what was going on. I withdrew into myself you could say.

    We couldn't stay long and there were so many things I wanted to say to my wife's aunt and uncle that I never got a chance to.(I'd probably need a translator for that).

    As we were leaving, I got what I feel in my heart what was the last look I'll ever get into my wife's uncle's eyes. That look I will always remember . I could tell he wanted to say things too and that he couldn't . I think somehow he felt ashamed and scared all at once.

    I just wish I could have told him how I felt and how much I appreciate him and I wish that he could have said what he wanted to say too.

    I'm as emotional as heck right now and I probably could write something better or more clear if I waited, but I just needed to get some of this weight off my chest.

    It is so very hard to say goodbye (for real) to good people, but I guess I should feel glad that I got the chance. A lot of us don't.

    Maybe it would be a good idea to tell those we love how we feel, before it's too late is the moral of the story.
     
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  2. mummifiedcircuitry

    mummifiedcircuitry passes for human

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    Maybe you can express this to your wife and she can help you express how you feel to her uncle through a letter. It's hard to handle feelings related to future loss of a loved one. It's like a person is grieving themselves in a way and seeing loved ones see them in this vulnerable, pained way must be very difficult for him. I am very sorry he is passing and that you and your family are struggling with it. Anyone would.
     
    Last edited: Feb 8, 2020
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  3. Wolf Prince

    Wolf Prince My future job title.

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    Being a christian helps me with that. We dont say goodbye forever. We say until we meet again on the pther side.
     
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  4. Mary Terry

    Mary Terry Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Major Tom - Send them a letter to say what you want to tell them or include a personal note in a "get well" or "thinking of you" card. They will treasure that, and your uncle may write you back when he is free of visitors and distractions. You're a good man and they must love you.
     
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  5. Schism

    Schism Authentic Alien

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    No Tom. Everything that needed to be said was shared in that exchange, however brief it seemed. The pain, shame, hope, love, thanks..Words were not necessary. Time is relative or needs not exist. Everything that had to be was shared in a moment.
     
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  6. Major Tom

    Major Tom Searching for ground control... V.I.P Member

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    I've thought of that, but some of the things I really only want them to see. I may ask someone from work to translate a letter for me. Thanks for the idea!
     
  7. Raggamuffin

    Raggamuffin Well-Known Member

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    Maybe give him a call.

    Ed