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What's your excuse?

Because I discovered your evil plot to turn them into a jacket. They told me they would rather live with the Dearlys, so I let them go.

Why did you let the cat out of the bag?
 
It belonged to Shrodinger and he said he had a box for it anyway.

Will anybody ever finalize the camping supply list so I can make the orders?
 
Some sweaty guys in black t-shirts came by and said you wanted it
chopped for an insurance job, which sounded reasonable to me, so
I let'em. That was days ago. And I am not a dude. But that's ok.
This is Michigan. Everybody is a 'guy.' The girl's gym class teacher
addressed us all: "OK Guys. Let's go." The sweaty guys who chopped
your van smelled like WD40, too, so I knew they were legit.

Why did you bring that frog in here?
 
You're right. He probably thinks I can change him into a prince.
It's dark in here because your eyes are shut.
Open your eyes. The frog is not that scary.

Why are you so cute?
 
Because you need your eyes checked.

What did you do with the bear spray?
 
I don't know but with all the canned beans we've been eating, I'm sure we have plenty of natural gas.

Why can't I find the cast iron skillet?
 
arrr matey, that be me parable.

i normally 'as a parable on me shoulder,

Why are your tattooes all swollen up like that?
 
The bear mistook the tatoo of a honey pot on my belly for a real one and tried to take a claw full :eek::eek::eek:

Where the TV remote control?
 
It's under the stack of papers on the entertainment center, right beside the TV.

Why is my wolfdog standing on top of his dog house and, howling at his offspring that are on the ground?
 
He's trying to avoid them licking his muzzle, he's regurgitated most of the food he has in his stomach and the cubs bellies are much too round.

I know the deep river near my home must have been part of the sea, as I found some fossilized salt water coral. When I showed it to a local neighbour who's elderly why did he say it couldn't have come from the river?
 
Because he cannot imagine that river ever being part of the ocean. He is old and, want's things to fit his view of how the world is and always has been.

Will you lend your grill brush as I seem to have misplaced mine and, I need to grill some salmon tomorrow?
 
Depends. Are you being the good cop or the bad cop?

Why haven't you sharpened the axe?
 
Eugene still has it.
He didn't drop it, after all.

Why are you hanging out with her?
 
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