What would your life have been if you weren't autistic?

[DaisyRose]

I would be dead. When I was born, I almost died. I was lucky enough to survive a collapsed lung and losing oxygen to my brain. I’m happy to be here and wouldn’t change anything.

 

[Toirtis]

There really is no way of knowing, as your ASD has been a very impactful force on your development as a human being, from in utero...your interests, personality, health, probably your physical features...and then, deep effect on your development as your grew...your interactions, decisions, and how all of that moulded you, even/especially in your first 6 years.

 

[grommet]

My generation had to not get AIDS. Millions of people all over the world were sick. It was too horrible to describe.

I am autistic and could not get a date or find sex, so I did not have the risk of HIV like most people. I did not get sick.

When I was young, in my twenties all of the people I worked with or met talked about how much drinking they did at bars. They would complain about how expensive it was.

I could not socialize well and I already felt off and confused so I was afraid to drink and I did not go to bars. I did not spend the money they did and IU survived better on the same salaries we earned.

I never understood or kept up on what was popular or fashion. I did not spend money on concerts or clothes. That was more money I could use to survive and I did not have to sacrifice, I just never thought of a new jacket or jeans or whatever.

No friends to take trips with and too afraid of all the overwhelming situations there would be so I did not spend money on traveling.

Landlords liked me because I need to follow rules so I did and I always paid my rent and I was very quiet. That helped me find places to live.

I think a lot of the rest could be guessed so I do not want to keep listing.

Being autistic also meant terrible loneliness. No friends, no parties, no fun times, no girflriends, no sex. Alone all the time for every holiday and by myself so no one to help me with life, no one to talk to.

The pain of being autistic and the world not being was so awful and it broke my heart a long time ago. I was young when it started breaking and by adulthood I settled into feeling like an alien who would never meet another person who was like me. That hurt so much.

So if I had been NT, I do not know what my life would have been like but maybe I would have gotten sick, or have a criminal record or died in a driving accident. Or I might have a family and a wife and be a doctor. I can never know.

I am 55 and coming to the end of life. I guess the only thing I really really wonder about is if I could have had a wife and family and now have children and grandchildren. That would seem like a good life.

I have to continue being the way I am though and that has kept me alone since I was four or five. A whole life alone, being old now and alone and because I could not have relationships, no family, no one I will leave behind.

I was quiet and did not cause much trouble but I also will not be noticed and missed when I go.

We cannot change being autistic but I wish for all autistic people to meet lots of other autistic people. We can be friends with each other and maybe the hardest part will not have to be there so much, that part of being alone.

 

[Fino]

The answer you hate is the correct answer. Sorry.

 

[Slime_Punk]

Yeah, unfortunately this is an easy way to torture yourself emotionally. Sometimes it's healthier to just accept what's been done and try to make the most of it.

Of course things would've probably been better or 'more normal' than they are now, but we're all in this together.

 

[Progster]

I'd probably be in the UK married, 2.4 kids, house with mortgage, hopefully with a decent job and salary. In other words, average.

 

[lovely_darlingprettybaby]

This has various meanings to me
For starters I have not had a proper diagnosis but I think I am an autistic..at least I know I have adhd
What would I have done differently well for starters I was quite mature when I was younger for an autistic.
I definitely think I had some struggles with day to day functioning and anxiety
I mean I think I had dreams of being a mother, having a family, spending time with friends, going to like little parties. I kind of felt like a misfit
But I still loved regular things like that
I loved when I had a purpose. I enjoyed volunteering when I did and I loved certain aspects. I wanted to do something fruitful. But I always think I kind of like a quiet sort of life. But I wanted to live in paris and maybe London for a few years but never thought I could pull it off because I did struggle with functioning a bit. For a while I kind of wanted to be a dancer for the moulin rouge because I saw shows where other girls did it and it seemed like a lovely adventure but I think too much nudity for me if it had no nudity I think I may have dreamed of it for a bit longer. Even if it did not suit me just for the experience.
I kind of loved medical myself like I have an interest in that and helping people but I do not think I could be a doctor and would never be a nurse.
Anyway I would not say I regret anything to this point because I did my best and it felt fruitful at the time.
But certain elements I wonder if it were the best for me and I do regret a lot of things when I feel like this.
Anyway this goes off track a bit but autistics can do things but obviously have challenges too.
So...I do not wish to be neurotypical but lately so things feel wrong to me and make me feel differently
What I think is..
That neurodivergent obviously can think differently and behave differently
And may struggle with functioning and different things more.
But obviously I do not think they can never get along with neurotypicals or share views and I am able to sometimes depending on the person and have been able to in the past
So I guess it depends on how open minded the person is and how easily they are compatible with your personality and respect your views and boundaries. Some NT I do not have to mask with at all but it can still get exhausting at times
So I do not think of having a neurotypical life because I do not
But also do I wish not be to autistic at times yes
Do I think neurotypicals have it easier at times yes
So that is how I feel
We may have a lot of talents that neurotypicals can get jealous of
But neurotypicals can be talented too and sometimes I think it is much easier to be like minded and think alike and fit with others easier.
And still find a career you enjoy etc

 

[Tony Ramirez]

Slimmer. Married to a beautiful wife with kids. Living with her on my own working with a college degree. Better then the college drop out unemployed, lonely, still single, still virgin, girls mostly won't give me the time of day, overweight, still living at home, acquaintance friends, life I have now.

 

[Raggamuffin]

It wouldn't have been my life.

Ed

 

[Ursus Chainus]

I am my brain. There is no world where an NT version of me could exist.

So the question, while interesting, doesn’t make sense in my brain.

I suppose many people in my life have wished that I were NT!

 

[Metalhead]

I would be diving into a vault full of gold coins and swimming away just like Scrooge McDuck. Autism is the only thing that keeps me from doing that. Damn it!

J/k

 

[Wolfiedog]

Intereseting question.
Would i have the skills and abilities i have if not for autism and ADHD?
Yet because of the autism and ADHD i cannot effectively market and captialize off of my skills.
It's a catch 22.

 

[Misty Avich]

I'm not sure about skills, as NTs can have skills too. For example, I'm a good speller and I might still be a good speller if I was NT. I don't think I would be this bad at math if I were NT though, as my poor mathematic abilities are a learning difficulty or could be part of my ADHD. But I could have been an NT with a learning difficulty in math. But in this thread I'm talking about an average NT with no learning difficulties or mental health problems. I guess one having trouble with math as an only learning difficulty can still be NT, but if they have trouble with multiple things other than math or spelling then they are not NT.

Anyway, let's get back to skills. My mother was NT but very creative. She taught herself to play the keyboard, then taught me. She often used to write stories and poems, draw pictures and colour. I have inherited those creative hobbies too. So I say my skills are genetic, or taught, due to my very close bond with my mother.

Maybe people with ASD/ADHD who taught themselves skills/talents without the support or bond from a parent or sibling can put their skills/talents down to their autism.

I seem to have a gift of being able to retain hundreds of vivid memories from childhood, adolescence and my adult life up to the present, which I'm so happy about. I have written autobiographies using my excellent memory, starting from being as young as 6. People often say "how do you remember?" I just say I can.
Maybe if I were NT I wouldn't be able to remember so many times in the past so vividly like I do, but I don't know. NTs can have good autobiographical memory too. I read somewhere that autistics typically have poor memory of their childhood and are more equipped to memorise facts. I struggle with memorising facts and I'm not a "know-it-all". I'm more of a listener and empathiser, which is also apparently not supposed to be an autistic skill.

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

My nonautistic brother, no we are not twins I am older he is him I am I, both content with being us.

 

[GrownupGirl]

Probably I'd be a heavy smoker because my father was one and I wouldn't have been so resistant to peer pressure.

 

[Jumpinbare]

I've always said, if I could remember what I was doing and where I put things, I would rule the world.

My short term memory issues are part of my autism catalog, so if I wasn't autistic I would be running the world and therefore overworked and cranky, probably with excessively high blood pressure, ulcers, and writer's cramp (from signing all the documents).

If I didn't get assassinated, I'd probably quit, leaving the world in chaos as contenders vied to fill the power vacuum, resulting in all-out thermonuclear war and a nuclear winter mass extintion event.

I'll take the autism.

 

[Kavigant]

This question really makes me think.
I was born into an extremely coarse, vulgar, violent, unintelligent, and not-very-inquisitive family. Did my autism cause me to be more intelligent and sensitive than them? Or are the intellect, sensitivity, and autism a package deal?
I think that if I were not autistic, I might have been a lot more like my brutal family of origin, and that would have been a truly bad ending.
Call me crazy (you certainly wouldn't be the first), but I'd rather be like I am than be like them.

 

[Misty Avich]

OK, please don't take offense or anything, but I just wanted to ask. Why does it seem that the majority of autistic people on these forums have come from abusive families? I feel like the only one who came from a normal, stable, loving family.

 

[Jumpinbare]

No parent is perfect, but mine were loving and consistant. Just what a little logician like myself needed.

 

[The Pandector]

I was mostly non-verbal as a child, which did define me in that period. Then came speech and debate, and I had something to say. As I‘ve shared, I was winning high school competitions in junior high; I believe the focus and drive that enabled that were autism-related, and that defined my life in that period. Then the army, where I was again mostly silent although promoted beyond my peers for technical ability. My electronic gear was my obsession, so I have to say my silence and tech skills defined my life at that point.

Wondering what my life might have been like had I not been autistic is akin to meditating on the sound of one hand clapping.