• Welcome to Autism Forums, a friendly forum to discuss Aspergers Syndrome, Autism, High Functioning Autism and related conditions.

    Your voice is missing! You will need to register to get access to the following site features:
    • Reply to discussions and create your own threads.
    • Our modern chat room. No add-ons or extensions required, just login and start chatting!
    • Private Member only forums for more serious discussions that you may wish to not have guests or search engines access to.
    • Your very own blog. Write about anything you like on your own individual blog.

    We hope to see you as a part of our community soon! Please also check us out @ https://www.twitter.com/aspiescentral

What would cause you to instantly "like" a person?

TBRS1

Transparent turnip
V.I.P Member
Sometimes a person will do or say something that produces an instant "like".

For me, this will do it:

My living room has wall to wall, floor to ceiling bookshelves filled with actual books.

Most folk who enter the room never look at what books are there, treating it all as if it were wallpaper.

Very rarely a person who has not been in my home before will start perusing the titles or subjects of all those books.

When this happens, I instantly like that person.

Is there something that works like that for you?
 
This one guy l use to know has a very sexy voice. He can say the simplest things, and l am seriously listening. Same with another past relationship also.
 
For that to happen *instantly* ? That's easy. I can't explain it at all. :p

That in very rare instances, it just happens. Osmosis ? Beats me. ;)
 
Last edited:
I don't know, maybe someone who is also interested in fictional worlds and not the real one.

There was such a person in my Japanese class, sadly she quit the classes..
 
Interest in reading certainly indicates the possibility of a “click.”

My Swiss canoeing partner I liked almost instantly because we laughed at the same things, and my sense of humor is really weird.
 
For me to like someone it's always an instant attraction, the same with sexual attraction. All decisions are made within about the first 30 seconds. It's the same with people I dislike, I've usually made that decision within the first few seconds of them speaking.

There's lots of people I don't make a decision about one way or another and although I'm happy to socialise with them they never become a part of my life. There's been a few people that I was wrong about over the years but nothing ever overcomes that initial first impression. I like you or I don't, that's all there is to it.
 
I let my bicycle get rusty to discourage thieves, but if people ask, I reply that it is to make it lighter. One guy countered with "Iron oxide is lighter than iron?"
Liking him now, I replied "I've been telling that joke for ten years, and you are the first one to get it."
 
My liking and disliking have become more flexible over years. I would say that I like good people. Those who get out of their track to help a stranger expecting not even a thank you.

My first impressions tend to fail, so I let time do its work .
 
Personally, it's a RARE combination of (1) high intelligence combined with humility, (2) someone who is truth seeking and can accept that they might me wrong, without strong cognitive biases, who understands nuance and balanced analysis, (3) someone who has a calm, but assertive demeanor, an air of self-confidence without coming off as arrogant, (4) someone who can express emotions, but does not allow emotions to overcome their logic and reasoning, and (5) someone who has a sense of what is socially acceptable, but not one to seek out validation.

Given all of that, it may take me a while to assess all of that before deciding if I "like" someone. I have a very methodical, analytical mind. Most people I interact with I am not quick to make judgements of. My autistic "mind blindness" needs time to assess. This is a double-edged sword. There are situations in life when a rapid assessment is needed, and I am not good at that, which could potentially delay a response that might prevent me from harm. On the other hand, with most people, I will give people the time to show their true colors.
 
For me, it's usually something about that person that I "click" with, and I find it's their sense of humor or, for lack of a better word, a "vibe." I have a pretty dark sense of humor and can come across as dry at times. Most people I meet don't get that, but when I meet that person who does, I immediately feel a kinship with them. It's pretty rare.
 

New Threads

Top Bottom