What not to say on a First Date.

[Beverly]

What, you're taking me to Pinks, Pinks, really?! What kind of tightwad takes his date to Pinks? (best hot dogs on the planet by the way, I'd like Pinks for a first date.)

 

[Flinty]

By the way, I'm banned from this place, so my name is Tom tonight.

 

[Beverly]

I think I'm allergic to you.

 

[Myway]

Go away before I call the police. Just joking. You can stay if you want.

 

[Beverly]

Okay one I actually did say on a first date I didn't want to be on at all after ten minutes of the jerk. (Blind date set up by a friend.)

Sorry, you aren't on my guest list and, the bouncers won't allow you in here. (I ducked into the exclusive section of a club where only celebrities and approved guests were allowed under the pretense that I would come right back out. I stayed in there for the next three hours.)

 

[Myway]

You smell like a cow farm. Do you work for one?

 

[Beverly]

Did you just give your dog a bath because you smell like a wet dog.

 

[Myway]

How many cats do you have? I think one of them just peed on the couch. I can smell it. I think it is time to get rid of your cat.

 

[Vinca]

What's that awful smell!!!?? Oh, it's your aftershave.

 

[Beverly]

Is that a toupee?

 

[qwerty]

Is that a merkin?

 

[Flinty]

Howard Cosell is a friend of mine. Would you like to meet him?

Spoiler

I'm aware that he's dead. That's the joke.

 

[Violetaspirations]

You look a little bit like my old pet goat...
You look sharp as a rat with a new gold tooth...
Wow, I used to be worried about having yellow teeth, but you seem to work it..
You look a bit like my brother....
So, when do you think we will get married?

 

[Tom]

"I'll pay. You look like you could use the money."

 

[weth]

Wow ur really talented at using photoshop

 

[Beverly]

No wonder you took so long in the bathroom, you left your magnifying glass and tweezers out here. (only works if gals say it to guys.)

 

[tree]

Jest becuz we's cousins don mean
we cain't be ......friendly.

 

[Vinca]

I have 99 cats.

 

[metalminx24]

Jest becuz we's cousins don mean
we cain't be ......friendly.

So apt.

 

[metalminx24]

Would you like a bottle of my sweat to take away with you?