What not to say on a First Date.

[Vinca]

Would you like a bottle of my sweat to take away with you?

Yes please/I would like to take a bottle of your sweat away with me.

 

[Beverly]

What, no pinkie extension while sipping, er, um guzzling, tea? Get lost I don't do poor gutter rats that don't even have their first million yet.

 

[Flinty]

Here's your broom. You'll be using it a lot.

 

[tree]

That's a great mask. It looks almost like real skin.
What do you look like when you take it off? Oh,
you're kidding. That's not really your face.
Come on. Take it off.

 

[Myway]

Where did you come from? I came from a human, while you like you came from another planet.

 

[tree]

The electric diaper I am wearing is a one-size-fits all.
I figure later you'll want to try it on.

 

[EndSerenading]

 

[Reedstorm17]

I'm a cougar. How old did you say you were, again?

 

[Zames]

I've only got an hour until bed check

 

[blue_bird]

Will you marry me?

 

[EndSerenading]

My tastes are very singular *opens wardrobe and gets out a Mr Blobby costume*

For non UK people, this is Mr Blobby

 

[Reedstorm17]

So... what was this for again?

 

[Flinty]

So, what are your plans for our eleventh date?

 

[Reedstorm17]

Wait, this is a date? Somehow I wasn't aware of that.

 

[blue_bird]

The best meal I ever had? My mailman, or should I say, my former mailman. Seriously, he tasted great.

 

[Reedstorm17]

And you're my next best meal.

 

[Zames]

I brought my mom

 

[Reedstorm17]

I hope this isn't awkward, you know, because I just got out of a relationship with your brother...

 

[Astroganga]

My stalking conviction was due to a simple misunderstanding.

 

[Reedstorm17]

I have a big test tomorrow. I hope you don't mind that I brought some study materials? Okay, good. So I'll study and you just stay over there and don't bother me.