• Feeling isolated? You're not alone.

    Join 20,000+ people who understand exactly how your day went. Whether you're newly diagnosed, self-identified, or supporting someone you love – this is a space where you don't have to explain yourself.

    Join the Conversation → It's free, anonymous, and supportive.

    As a member, you'll get:

    • A community that actually gets it – no judgment, no explanations needed
    • Private forums for sensitive topics (hidden from search engines)
    • Real-time chat with others who share your experiences
    • Your own blog to document your journey

    You've found your people. Create your free account

What I've learned has helped my son's marriage

Pats

Pats

Well-Known Member
V.I.P Member
Don't take that as being a boastful comment, it is not meant to be. My daughter in law told me the other day that it has helped their marriage as she has learned things from me. We talk about the difference in our thinking - autism vs neurotypical. She said that just understanding how they think so differently is helping her not take things as personally and to be more patient. Like when she asks my son a question and it takes him forever to respond - now she understands that he's not ignoring the question, he is thinking. Or sometimes, by his tone of voice she thinks he might be mad at her and now she realizes it's just the tone - she explained that he and I both are fairly monotone when we speak casually. (I didn't know that I was - I try to accent words and stuff, but apparently it's harder than I thought). Anyway, she gave many examples where it has helped her understanding of him and also that it has helped him realize ways he needs to make more effort. Where he never seen things he did as a problem before thinking she should be able to understand him and read him better, he now knows that she needs clarification sometimes and how his actions or comments could be misconstrued by her so he is less defensive when he needs to explain himself.

Anyway, I thought that was kind of cool.
 
Similar Pats, glad your back posting. Even though I'm an aspie myself, my aspie husband sometimes says things I don't quite get. As I grew up in the NT world. Often I need more clarification, the site and people's postings have helped me understand. And I'm less upset when he responds in certain very short sentences or really long ones.:) It's nice that you daughter in law told you that.
 
Last edited:
I don’t know that anyone else in my extended family has had their perspectives change, but mine sure have.

Once I was diagnosed and I began to understand that there were some truly significant differences between the way I function best and the way NTs function best, I felt free to give up on the expectation that I behave and function the same as everyone else. I didn’t feel like I had to work so hard to conform.

Once I gave myself permission to be different, I began to see differences everywhere. The other person doesn’t have to be autistic - there are plenty of other reasons to explain why someone might be a little different. All I have to say to myself is, “Autism is my thing. They have their own thing.” I think (and I sincerely hope I’m right) that this has helped me be more accepting of others.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

New Threads

Top Bottom