WHAT IS YOUR ONE BIG TURNOFF WHEN LOOKING FOR A PARTNER?

[Marycv]

A person who is not polite, lack of manners, a show off, lies (not truthful), fake, put you down, and not understanding. These are major turnoffs. I have sadly met many guys like as I have listed.

 

[yesithinkso]

Loud and supposedly attractive people just aren't very interesting to me.

 

[psychotopsy]

There are many things that can turn me off but being completely inconsiderate is one of the biggest ones. Sure, it's fine that sometimes misunderstandings happen but I can not deal with people who are inconsiderate on purpose. This would mean, for example, visiting me unexpectedly, expecting me to be ready to get up and go out at any time with no previous notice, purposefully saying things they know would upset me etc.
Ironically, being considerate was one of the hardest things for me to learn as a kid because I simply did not understand what it meant. Now I would say I'm pretty decent at it and I value that trait in others as well.

 

[Shiznown]

You respect him, listen to him, support him and love him. That's the way it was done in the past and there were a lot less divorces and children were actually brought up in a real family. Then women's lib and feminism showed up where women wanted to be equal with men in all ways and things just went downhill from there. Believe me, I used to think this way when I was younger and would even hold doors open for my dates, but to be honest with you it felt "weird" and almost as if I was the "dominant" one in the relationship. I would go "dutch" and pay my half of the meal, etc. Now looking back (I'm still not married btw and I do believe this might have had a little to do with the way I used to think), I had a mentality that I don't need a man. I have a great job, I can pay for my own dinner and I can also even open my own doors. I'm sure when I went out on dates I would project this kind of mentality. If I was going to do all of the "dating rituals" myself (as I call them), then I might as well date myself - or at least go out with my girlfriends. There's nothing wrong with a guy planning the date, opening the door and what I call "treating me like a lady". And in return, I treat him like a gentleman.

You my friend are awesome.

 

[Shiznown]

Before I list my turn offs, I think it's important to point out that I am an egalitarian pro-liberty capitalist.
Turn offs:
Tobacco smoking
Likes to go to parties, clubs, bars
Radical feminist
Manipulating
Not supportive
Simple minded(having no idea whats going on in the world and having no desire to learn)
Lack of common interests
Negative view when it comes to constitutional rights
Anti-capitalist/free market mindset
Pro big government
sexual incompatibility

 

[tree]

What do I not want?

smoking tobacco
getting drunk
throwing things at me
hitting me
yelling at me
not talking

 

[ancusmitis]

What do I not want?

smoking tobacco
getting drunk
throwing things at me
hitting me
yelling at me
not talking

Oh my. Those are all certainly on my list. But let's add dishonesty and bigotry on there.

 

[I am Matt]

What do I not want?

smoking tobacco
getting drunk
throwing things at me
hitting me
yelling at me
not talking

Yep. I HATE the smell of cigarettes and the main reason I don't want someone to hit me is because I don't wanna have to hit back.

 

[mike89gb]

[ QUOTE="Grumpy Cat, post: 218130, member: 3011"]Me first.

It would have to be lack of good manners. He must be a gentleman and have good manners. These would be things such as: opening doors, pulling out my chair, no foul language, seeing me to my front door, planning and asking me out on dates even if we have been going out for awhile, and to pay for these dates unless I plan a special outing for the both of us. Dress is important too - don't take me out to a nice place and dress like a bum. Each should always show respect for the other. I want a gentleman who will treat me like a lady!

PS: I think the rules of etiquette were put there for a reason. I read in "Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus" that when men pay for dates and do the things I mentioned above it makes them feel more manly and women feel more feminine. I do believe that too. When the roles are changed, it just seems things in the relationship goes downhill.[/QUOTE]
I

Me first.

It would have to be lack of good manners. He must be a gentleman and have good manners. These would be things such as: opening doors, pulling out my chair, no foul language, seeing me to my front door, planning and asking me out on dates even if we have been going out for awhile, and to pay for these dates unless I plan a special outing for the both of us. Dress is important too - don't take me out to a nice place and dress like a bum. Each should always show respect for the other. I want a gentleman who will treat me like a lady!

PS: I think the rules of etiquette were put there for a reason. I read in "Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus" that when men pay for dates and do the things I mentioned above it makes them feel more manly and women feel more feminine. I do believe that too. When the roles are changed, it just seems things in the relationship goes downhill.

I agree with manners, language, being a gentleman dressing to impress, holding doors, pulling chairs etc etc but expecting a man to pay for everything and it going down hill of the roles chanhed would leave me feeling very used.

The key to a successful relationship is balancing things equally, after all you girls thought for equality. I am the perfect gentleman to women and I treat them far better than I treat myself but if I was expected to always pay they would last long. I say things should be 50/50 in every aspect of the relationship.

 

[Tom]

Girls who if you put a bean in their head would rattle when you shake them.

 

[Grayman]

I agree with a lot of the above , I cannot stand people who are cruel to animals.

 

[clg114]

[ QUOTE="Grumpy Cat, post: 218130, member: 3011"]Me first.

It would have to be lack of good manners. He must be a gentleman and have good manners. These would be things such as: opening doors, pulling out my chair, no foul language, seeing me to my front door, planning and asking me out on dates even if we have been going out for awhile, and to pay for these dates unless I plan a special outing for the both of us. Dress is important too - don't take me out to a nice place and dress like a bum. Each should always show respect for the other. I want a gentleman who will treat me like a lady!

PS: I think the rules of etiquette were put there for a reason. I read in "Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus" that when men pay for dates and do the things I mentioned above it makes them feel more manly and women feel more feminine. I do believe that too. When the roles are changed, it just seems things in the relationship goes downhill.

I



I agree with manners, language, being a gentleman dressing to impress, holding doors, pulling chairs etc etc but expecting a man to pay for everything and it going down hill of the roles chanhed would leave me feeling very used.

The key to a successful relationship is balancing things equally, after all you girls thought for equality. I am the perfect gentleman to women and I treat them far better than I treat myself but if I was expected to always pay they would last long. I say things should be 50/50 in every aspect of the relationship.[/QUOTE]

I'm sorry, but I would have to disagree with the 50/50 idea. When ever I took a lady out, I always paid for everything. When my wife and were dating, I always paid for everything and still do. Unless you consider the fact any money we have is our money. I think that Grumpy Cat is right and that is the way it should be.

 

[mike89gb]

I believe you are talking about your marriage, in that case then yeah its 50/50,its a marriage of course it will be but if your talking about dates then I think your a sucker, I was classed NT for 26 years. I have always been very successful with women,I am a good looking guy and to be honest, any man who pays for it all will end up disappointed. Of course a gentleman will offer to pay,that's what we'd do! But if it's one sided then why would I pay for my date? My date is with me because she likes me, not because I can pay her way right?

I have also worked with autism for many years, now I know that a lot of aspies will agree with what a woman says because they don't really have that much experience/knowledge of relationships (other than a few confident ones) classic case is a aspie man going along with a woman because he thinks it will score him brownie points.... But! Through my experience as an aspie, I have played the "I'll give you everything card" ends up bad! There's only so much a man can give!

Regardless of that, you as a man should be treated with the same respect, your a decent guy, a gentleman, of course a man can offer to pay. But any decent women (and I know a decent woman) would at least offer to pay half's, if the don't you can sure as hell count your entire relationship paying for absolutely everything.

Now you may disagree and that's fine, but personally, through experience and knowledge I am right..... to all the aspie followers, of they expect you to pay for it all,
Don't go there, your wallet will be dented and you'll be hurt!. NO DECENT WOMAN WOULD EXPECT YOU TO PAY THEIR WAY, AFTER ALL EQUALITY IS THE WAY!

I agree with manners, language, being a gentleman dressing to impress, holding doors, pulling chairs etc etc but expecting a man to pay for everything and it going down hill of the roles chanhed would leave me feeling very used.

The key to a successful relationship is balancing things equally, after all you girls thought for equality. I am the perfect gentleman to women and I treat them far better than I treat myself but if I was expected to always pay they would last long. I say things should be 50/50 in every aspect of the relationship.[/QUOTE]

I'm sorry, but I would have to disagree with the 50/50 idea. When ever I took a lady out, I always paid for everything. When my wife and were dating, I always paid for everything and still do. Unless you consider the fact any money we have is our money. I think that Grumpy Cat is right and that is the way it should be.[/QUOTE]
I

 

[mike89gb]

No way am I going to instruct you on that! I do not think my wife would like me telling pretty, young girls on how to be a "bad/really good girl".

Clearly you have no idea about relationships as if you did you would be on here stating how your wife wouldn't like what you tellong pretty young girls how to be bad.... just saying .... clueless

 

[mike89gb]

Working is good for you, then you get money, then you meet women! Then you go out on dates! Then bam!

Then,BAMM, broke!!!

 

[mike89gb]

I believe you are talking about your marriage, in that case then yeah its 50/50,its a marriage of course it will be but if your talking about dates then I think your a sucker, I was classed NT for 26 years. I have always been very successful with women,I am a good looking guy and to be honest, any man who pays for it all will end up disappointed. Of course a gentleman will offer to pay,that's what we'd do! But if it's one sided then why would I pay for my date? My date is with me because she likes me, not because I can pay her way right?

I have also worked with autism for many years, now I know that a lot of aspies will agree with what a woman says because they don't really have that much experience/knowledge of relationships (other than a few confident ones) classic case is a aspie man going along with a woman because he thinks it will score him brownie points.... But! Through my experience as an aspie, I have played the "I'll give you everything card" ends up bad! There's only so much a man can give!

Regardless of that, you as a man should be treated with the same respect, your a decent guy, a gentleman, of course a man can offer to pay. But any decent women (and I know a decent woman) would at least offer to pay half's, if the don't you can sure as hell count your entire relationship paying for absolutely everything.

Now you may disagree and that's fine, but personally, through experience and knowledge I am right..... to all the aspie followers, of they expect you to pay for it all,
Don't go there, your wallet will be dented and you'll be hurt!. NO DECENT WOMAN WOULD EXPECT YOU TO PAY THEIR WAY, AFTER ALL EQUALITY IS THE WAY!

I agree with manners, language, being a gentleman dressing to impress, holding doors, pulling chairs etc etc but expecting a man to pay for everything and it going down hill of the roles chanhed would leave me feeling very used.

The key to a successful relationship is balancing things equally, after all you girls thought for equality. I am the perfect gentleman to women and I treat them far better than I treat myself but if I was expected to always pay they would last long. I say things should be 50/50 in every aspect of the relationship.

I'm sorry, but I would have to disagree with the 50/50 idea. When ever I took a lady out, I always paid for everything. When my wife and were dating, I always paid for everything and still do. Unless you consider the fact any money we have is our money. I think that Grumpy Cat is right and that is the way it should be.[/QUOTE]
I[/QUOTE]
You have a lot to learn, for a start I'm sure your wife wouldn't like you flirting with "young pretty girls" just quoting

 

[clg114]

Clearly you have no idea about relationships as if you did you would be on here stating how your wife wouldn't like what you tellong pretty young girls how to be bad.... just saying .... clueless

What?

 

[Ste11aeres]

Clearly you have no idea about relationships as if you did you would be on here stating how your wife wouldn't like what you tellong pretty young girls how to be bad.... just saying .... clueless

You have a lot to learn, for a start I'm sure your wife wouldn't like you flirting with "young pretty girls" just quoting

You're being somewhat hostile, and I have no idea what it is you are inferring from clg114's commonsense statement.

Please speak more politely, kindly, and respectfully to the other members.

 

[bkind]

The first thing I notice, without even consciously recognizing it (except as discomfort), is assertiveness--I don't like people who are too pushy, and I know I won't be able to be myself around them. Then, they can't be too shallow, as I'll need to have earnest conversations with them about ethical or scientific issues. Finally, they can't be heartless...a sense of fairness and respect for one's fellow creatures is a prerequisite.

Also, I guess...I don't really seem to click with anyone who is concerned with maintaining their status/sense of belonging/whatever as part of a social group. It doesn't matter how nerdy or broad the group is, as long as they value that sense of social belonging, I don't really relate or get the same sense of individual loyalty, independence, or idealism from them. Funny, I guess, 'cause you could say I try very hard to 'pass' socially, but then again, that's all the acknowledgment I can really handle. I would not want to have to be a part of it all the time. Just want somebody to tell me I'm okay.

Same here. Out of all the comments here, yours expresses my feelings the best.

 

[bkind]

These comments (and others you wrote) had me nodding at my screen. Women say they want social equality, but too many seem to require special treatment, and hold onto standards of conduct that put an inordinate amount of rules and requirements on men while rejecting traditional expectations that would apply to them as females. He plans, he pays, he entertains, he holds the door and pulls out your chair for you, and he buys tokens of affection. And you do...? I think it's bull****, honestly. There are more important things on which a woman should be judging a prospective mate.

"Traditional" dating is mostly just a lot of theater, in my opinion. I'd rather a guy just say "Let's hang out" and come into a meeting with the attitude that we are two independent people who come together to just be real and see what happens. The best "dates" I've had have often just been aimless walks and talks. If we hit a coffee shop, I can buy my own latte and not think a thing of it, thanks.

I also don't care about how much a guy makes, what he does for a living or how he dresses, etc., beyond a point. I don't want to be with a bum, but I don't see a man as an opportunity to elevate my own socio-economic status. Again, I find that an outdated mindset. Same with structured availability. I don't need someone to be available at my own convenience, as long as we get to spend enough time together that I don't feel like nothing more than an occasional afterthought.

I've ended relationships with very wealthy, successful, structured, smartly-styled and impeccably chivalrous men who were sorely lacking in the areas that really matter when it comes to finding genuine happiness with another person. Those qualities mean nothing to me anymore.

Now, you are a true individual. This is exactly how a genuinely independent man or woman should think and act.