WHAT IS YOUR ONE BIG TURNOFF WHEN LOOKING FOR A PARTNER?

[Grumpy Cat]

Me first.

It would have to be lack of good manners. He must be a gentleman and have good manners. These would be things such as: opening doors, pulling out my chair, no foul language, seeing me to my front door, planning and asking me out on dates even if we have been going out for awhile, and to pay for these dates unless I plan a special outing for the both of us. Dress is important too - don't take me out to a nice place and dress like a bum. Each should always show respect for the other. I want a gentleman who will treat me like a lady!

PS: I think the rules of etiquette were put there for a reason. I read in "Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus" that when men pay for dates and do the things I mentioned above it makes them feel more manly and women feel more feminine. I do believe that too. When the roles are changed, it just seems things in the relationship goes downhill.

 

[clg114]

When I was young, my mother taught me to be polite. She told me, in no uncertain terms, that I will be very polite to ladies. I just know that if I don't, she would figure out a way to get me for that. She's been gone for a long time, but I'm still afraid to cross her. My wife really liked her.

 

[Grumpy Cat]

When I was young, my mother taught me to be polite. She told me, in no uncertain terms, that I will be very polite to ladies. I just know that if I don't, she would figure out a way to get me for that. She's been gone for a long time, but I'm still afraid to cross her. My wife really liked her.

Again you're a keeper Mr. Clg114. Those etiquette skills should help in one's marriage too - especially the respect one. Exhibit A - you're still married and have a wonderful wife. That just proves NT/Aspie marriages can work!

 

[watersprite]

I forget.

Just kidding.

Competitiveness and close-mindedness, and NT-ness. (I know those aren't proper words; I'm tired and kind of lazy at the moment.)

 

[Peace]

I couldn't agree with Grumpy Cat more. She verbalized beautifully why society's prize such behaviors, and why without them they break down. The rewards for such discipline are ten fold both physically and mentally.
Flirting is necessary and should remain throughout the relationship, as should the desire to play together.
That being said, I have a real soft spot for a bad girl.

 

[Grumpy Cat]

and NT-ness

Could you elaborate on this one perhaps, please?

 

[Grumpy Cat]

I have a real soft spot for a bad girl.

Bad girl, huh? How bad are we talking, Peace - just a little naughty or a lot naughty? And is it anything I can add to my good girl etiquette list for future reference for when I finally find my Hunny? (I feel naughty just asking!)

 

[watersprite]

Sure. I'm not meaning any offense Grumpy Cat, hope you know that. What has happened in the past for me (I've taken a very very long break from relationships) is that the only people who I got along with for long at all, were likely on the spectrum. In no way did I mean to insult NT folks.
I am well aware that I am the one who is difficult, ornery and prone to meltdowns every so often. In other words, I am not suited to relationships. Alas the one person who was right for me is dead.

 

[Grumpy Cat]

Sure. I'm not meaning any offense Grumpy Cat, hope you know that. What has happened in the past for me (I've taken a very very long break from relationships) is that the only people who I got along with for long at all, were likely on the spectrum. In no way did I mean to insult NT folks.
I am well aware that I am the one who is difficult, ornery and prone to meltdowns every so often. In other words, I am not suited to relationships. Alas the one person who was right for me is dead.

Okie dokie. I understand Sorry about your Hunny, Kestrel. I know what you mean about there being only one. If I ever marry my perfect Hunny, he will be it for me too!

(I changed what I was going to say because I read your last sentence after I had written my first reply. I have a problem of only reading half of things sometimes.)

 

[watersprite]

Okie dokie. I understand. I hope you would have an open mind just in case you might ever meet a nice NT gentleman. There has to be at least one out there, right?

Indeed. It is a nice ideal, and in the interest of avoiding negativity I'll just say my perogative at this point is peace. If you knew what I have experienced over the decades, you'd understand.

 

[Datura]

My number one turnoff is probably a partner that expects sex from me. I know, I know, I am a broken toy.

Other things that bother me in a partner are; bigotry, bad hygiene, machoism, and codependency.

 

[Slothra]

Someone overly argumentative, I just couldn't be involved with someone like that. Needs to be confident enough in themselves & their opinions that they don't feel the need to start up sh*t whenever they disagree with something.

Basically, be chill

 

[Ste11aeres]

The thing I really hate is if someone has problems with their temper.
Anger exists for a reason, and there are times when it is genuinely appropriate to be angry.
But what I hate is people who are angry all the time because of perceived slights to their huge ego.

 

[AsheSkyler]

I'm pretty independent, so I like a traditional gentleman that isn't afraid to let me take care of myself. Or us. I scared off one guy who was humiliated that he forgot his wallet and I wasn't bothered that I paid for the meal.

I think I can sum up my number one turnoff simply with: rude.
- Swearing can season a conversation, just don't use it so much you're serving a platter of salt with a few peas on the side.
- Be honest if you don't like my shirt, but don't insult me to get the point across.
- It's good to have an opinion, just don't expect everybody to have that same opinion or bully them into having it.
- Nobody likes a bat in the hanger, but please turn your head or go to the bathroom to pick it.
- And a plethora of other bad behaviours that could be solved with a little common courtesy and common sense.

 

[Progster]

I'm not looking for a partner because I already have one, but the first big turn-off would be smoking. I can't start smoking. Then it would be imposing gender roles - I don't fit into the typical female gender role and I wouldn't like it if he tried to make me into something I'm not. Then he'd need to give me plenty of personal space, and not be demanding of me sexually or in other ways. Actually, I don't like sex much and can do without it!

Oh, he'd have to like prog rock, of course

 

[Vinca]

Biggest turn-offs

-Being cruel or mean towards living things
-Swearing and agressive behaviour

 

[Adora]

I agree with what you said about gentlemen,I'm married now but those were the things that I liked in a partner was someone with old fashioned manners, a big turn off would off been someone who was insensitive or mean spirited.

 

[clg114]

Bad girl, huh? How bad are we talking, Peace - just a little naughty or a lot naughty? And is it anything I can add to my good girl etiquette list for future reference for when I finally find my Hunny? (I feel naughty just asking!)

"When your good, your good. When your bad, your really good". I don't remember who said that, but I think that most men can relate to that.

 

[Warmheart]

Insensitivity and self-centeredness would be problematic in a mate.

Because I am challenged with speaking, a suitable mate would need to be both sensitive and perceptive.
Behavior is communication.

Know anybody kindhearted, who rocks at charades? Send him my way!

 

[Spiller]

People who love themselves, have big egos, are insensitive to others and judge you by what car you drive.
I like to treat a woman like a lady, I enjoy being well mannered and love to share an honest, emotive and empathic link, a close bond with the person I care about.. we don't have to live in each others pockets but I'd hate to suffer miscommunications all the time, never knowing where I was with this woman - that's what the outside world's for.