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What is the worst/best advice you’ve been given

"Don't sweat the small stuff."

According to the branch of mathematics that deals with complex interactions (chaos theory), "in complex non linear systems, the end result is highly dependent on initial conditions."

This is commonly known as "the butterfly effect" - that events so tiny as to be completely unnoticeable have, ultimately, an enormous effect on future events.

Think of all those time travel science fiction movies where changing some tiny event radically rewrites history.

Always remember that the small stuff is the only stuff that a person can actually control, and, ultimately, the small stuff is what causes the big stuff.
 
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"Relax everything will be just fine" but it wasn't. The advice I seem to get when I start asking questions to an upcoming unknown situation. Inevitably I get that advice, I just am seeking clarification so that I can be prepared and know what to expect in a new situation. I do not like going into things blindly. How neurotypicals seem to just wing and and "relax because everything will be fine" is beyond me. Then again I think these are the same folks that also have no inner monologue, which I still don't understand how that is even possible.
 
People like me can't have female friends.
Heard it last year from an ex therapist.
It made me the RSD hating wreck I am to this day.
 
Stop acting like a victim and accept responsibility for your situation! Your problems are your own. You are in control of your own life. It's not what happens to you (bad things happen to everyone) but how you think about it and respond to it that affects you.
 
My dad after I had another serious bout of depression: "just bloody sort yourself out, it's upsetting your mum." Little did he know. I don't blame him for that. It was just my dad frustrated he couldn't make a difference.

Or the classic "you're not autistic!", why because I'm not rocking in place or banging my head. Trust me I do in the privacy of my own home.
 
One of the best bits of advice I got was from a teacher when I was about 14:

"Weird is wonderful."

What a great time of life to hear and believe that feeling weird and being different isn't inherently bad. Weird can be a good thing... an interesting thing... something that unites you with others... something that is authentic and appreciated.

I took that advice to heart and it has served me well for over 30 years.
 
Matthias said:
Stop acting like a victim and accept responsibility for your situation! Your problems are your own. You are in control of your own life. It's not what happens to you (bad things happen to everyone) but how you think about it and respond to it that affects you.
Click to expand...

Was that best or worst advice?
 
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Worst advice: Wait until it's an emergency - until then you don't have to address it and it is not a priority.
 
Tony Ramirez said:
People like me can't have female friends.
Heard it last year from an ex therapist.
It made me the RSD hating wreck I am to this day.
Click to expand...

Tony, how do you categorize this advice ?
Best? Or worst?

That's the topic of this thread.
Telling the best or worst advice you've received.
 
blue_bird said:
Was that best or worst advice?
Click to expand...
The best. That's why it's been my signature (below all my posts) for a few years now. When people believe everything in their life is outside of their control, they can't help but feel like a helpless victim when things don't go their way. This often leads to blaming others for one's problems, which makes good relationships impossible. When I learned that I was the problem, I was able to stop blaming others and make the changes I needed to improve my life.
 
Worst: Accept the appointment.

While I was in the Air Force, out of nowhere I received a letter telling me I had been selected for a Masters program at the Air Force Institute of Technology. I had not applied for the program. I literally didn't know it existed. The letter told me I had until a specific date to accept or decline. The date was less than a week away.

Attached to the letter was three other letters. Each letter was written by a Colonel higher up in the chain of command, congratulating me on being selected. The Colonel in my immediate command told me I really should accept.

Looking at the dates on the attached letters, I saw that each one had delayed my receipt of the original letter 2 to 3 weeks. So while I should have had over a month to decide, I ended up having less than a week. I accepted my appointment to the program.

It was disastrous. It ended up being the beginning of the end of my Air Force career.
 
This makes me laugh a bit, because as a girl growing up in the deep south my grandmother would often tell me: "Never let a man tell you what to do!" That was good advice. Also the whole weird is wonderful thing I heard from my aunt--she told me to embrace my differences and enjoy them. Bad Advice? "Just act normal." yuck.
 
Best advice: This idea that, "This too, shall pass." Having the happiest day of your life? This too, shall pass. Having the saddest day of your life? This too, shall pass.
 
Worst advice: "Just don't think about things that worry you." I've tried this so many times, but my brain doesn't think like that. My brain always hyper fixates on the worst case scenarios and I can't move on unless I properly address the thing I'm worried about, which often times just make things worse.
 
Best advice: "You wanna know what the world is like? Turn the screen off and get out there and see it for yourself. You want to know what someone is like? Talk to them yourself instead of talking to someone else ABOUT them. Do your own exploring and you'll learn more than you ever thought you could."

That all came from my father.

Turns out, it's also a really good way to start to break some old habits and dissolve some poisonous old ideas.


Worst advice: "Go to college".
 
Best advice: Consider the source.

I.e.: Examine where the information you are receiving is actually coming from. Many news outlets and media publishers are owned by billionaires who influence its content. E.g.: The Washington Post is owned by Jeff Bezos. The Murdoch family owns Fox News and the Wall Street Journal, among other media.

Worst advice: Just be yourself.

This is too general and assumes the person in question doesn't have massively bad habits, poor hygiene, poor emotional regulation, etc. A better way of putting it might be "be genuine" or "don't lie about who you are."
 
Don't smile to anyone unless you want to - My Dad
Death smiles to us all, all a man can do is smile back - movie The Gladiator I
 
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