Yucca
Well-Known Member
Hi you!
I´m not really at home in this forum yet. I have a lot of work and not so much time. This is why I normally postpone reading and writing here. But sometimes I´m really restless in my mind. One of these days is today and I wonder if you could answer me some questions?
I have/ had or never had a boyfriend for six years now. I am diagnosed, he is not but I think he has a lot of Aspergers. He loves to have sex with me but he always said that he is not in love with me, that he cannot love. But he shows a lot of feelings when we are together. It is just like afterwards he forgets about me. Now I want to stop the relationship because I want to be loved. I love him dearly. He says that it is normal for a man to have great sex for years (and great other time as well, at least in my opinion) and to feel nothing deeper than this. His father told him, that he should feel that he want to be together with me a big deal, if not, it is definately not love. And he sais that he does not feel like spending time with me. But WHEN we are together I feel that everything is great. I don´t want to be impatient with him, sometimes I think he just needs a lot of time due to his Aspergers but recently a friend told me to leave him NOW (I see my boyfriend several times a week) because if he does not love me until now, he just does not love me. But could it be that he loves me and does not know it?
How can he/ I distinguish between lack of love and commitment fear??? (I think that he has enormous commitment fear.)
How are your experiences? Can you love? How is love to be defined for Aspies? Is there something I can do apart from leaving him? I have my head full of things I don't understand or maybe don´t want to understand.
Maybe you know answers...
Thank you for reading this. I´m really sad, you know...
I´m not really at home in this forum yet. I have a lot of work and not so much time. This is why I normally postpone reading and writing here. But sometimes I´m really restless in my mind. One of these days is today and I wonder if you could answer me some questions?
I have/ had or never had a boyfriend for six years now. I am diagnosed, he is not but I think he has a lot of Aspergers. He loves to have sex with me but he always said that he is not in love with me, that he cannot love. But he shows a lot of feelings when we are together. It is just like afterwards he forgets about me. Now I want to stop the relationship because I want to be loved. I love him dearly. He says that it is normal for a man to have great sex for years (and great other time as well, at least in my opinion) and to feel nothing deeper than this. His father told him, that he should feel that he want to be together with me a big deal, if not, it is definately not love. And he sais that he does not feel like spending time with me. But WHEN we are together I feel that everything is great. I don´t want to be impatient with him, sometimes I think he just needs a lot of time due to his Aspergers but recently a friend told me to leave him NOW (I see my boyfriend several times a week) because if he does not love me until now, he just does not love me. But could it be that he loves me and does not know it?
How can he/ I distinguish between lack of love and commitment fear??? (I think that he has enormous commitment fear.)
How are your experiences? Can you love? How is love to be defined for Aspies? Is there something I can do apart from leaving him? I have my head full of things I don't understand or maybe don´t want to understand.
Maybe you know answers...
Thank you for reading this. I´m really sad, you know...