What is it like to be in love?

[Gracey]

It’s incredible.
Like nothing else you’ll ever experience.

Initially, the ultimate natural high.
Surging, rampant hormones can create euphoria.

On coming down from the initial high the work begins,
Although it doesn’t feel like a difficult chore getting to know all about someone else.

Yeh, sure, there are differences of opinion, compromises to figure out, acceptable limits of ...whatever,
I always thought that part of the process of what’s termed growing together.


When someone has a similar idea of what it takes to spend a long, long time together,

will accept all that you are,

love you more than you love yourself at times,
And do it all because they want to,

What’s not to like?

 

[Joshua the Writer]

Being in love is NOT a form of "self inflicted torture"; and its not something that can be easily described. If you can think of it this way, take your favourite food item or activity/hobby that you absolutely adore and enjoy, and pretend its a person. That's basically what being in love is like.

Otherwise, it's one of those "you have to feel it to truly understand" type of things

Yeah, I'm with @Isadoorian on this one. You have to feel it to truly understand.

But it's hard to describe in coherent words what it is like to be in love, even as a person who has been in love before, too.

 

[izou]

- It's like being alone but being alone with someone.
- It's like having nothing to do but doing nothing with someone.
- You say I hate life the other person says I know.


I used to wonder about this myself.

 

[Alis1998]

It is feeling like you should touch something, a sort urge. A chemistry, strongly. It is the enjoyment, of your favorite food/hobby/movie/music intensified if you can touch this person. It is feeling safe, comfterable, feeling liked if the person likes you back. It is that warm, a bit nervouze feeling around them as well.
It is also mostly your best friend, to say. Who wouldn't like to spend time with their best friend, as much as possible? It is that person you can make lame jokes with, just watching a movie in bed with your head resting on your body. It is also the person, that listing the most to you when there is something going on. Who tries to understand you. And if you truely love this person, you will do all the things back. You will not worry about your last penny on a gift for their birthday, because you want to treat them good and they will do the same. If you have a bad day, the part of you that wants to scream will slowly/with normal speed fades away in a matter of 30 minutes max, because your first reaction is putting a smile on your face when you see them, even when you feel akward when smiling. This person, you are in love with, is the person that makes you happy the most. This person is also the person that can take your insecuries sometimes away, for example having a bad body image. He/she doesn't jugde you for your insecurity's. You will not get easily iritated around them, or will talk it out. If you love someone, especially when you first get to notice that you love them, you will feel it in some way or another.

I first noticed that I love my current boyfriend when he had to leave because of a situation. He was away for four months in total, and every day I graved to be just near him, just to see something of him even if we couldn't touch.

The moment that iknow I was in love with him was easy, knowing that I have an urge to touch him, be around him and just talk to him.

Love is for everybody diffrent. Being in love, is something else then to love. You can love multipule people, sometimes grave their present. Like for example one of your parents or friends. But being in love and to love that person is a mix, almost a rollercoaster of feelings with mostly a postive feelings. It is in my experience, way more stronger, then to love a friend.

 

[Adolonius Ganz]

It‘s like the skin cells are singing rhythmical and the touch of the other person is not alien but pleasant. The scent of the person is making me close my eyes and relaxe. I love to listen to the sound of her voice and she shines in a special light and pops out like something beautiful and mysterious.

 

[Loren]

When I've been in love, it has felt as if the person has occupied all the space in my heart.

 

[Nihil]

Basically you can't stop thinking about the other person. It can be pretty torturous. I don't necessarily recommend it.

 

[tlc]

The initial euphoria I understand to be infatuation which is not love. Love comes later. I understand it to be when you can work together on things and be romantic too. You do things for each other and can forgive disagreements because there's something more. I also understand it to be when no matter what the other person does to you, you still do good things for them, and even though they've run you through the mill, you still miss them.

 

[rebelstar]

Lately, I've been thinking about this. I don't want to every marry or date someone, yet I wonder what it feels like to love someone in a romantic way. A guy I know is dating a girl, and they seem very happy together. I don't understand it. Why would someone choose to be with another person day after day after day? Self-inflicted torture? I don't understand this thing called "romantic relationship". Can anyone explain this to me?

I think there have been times where I felt like I loved a guy that I was with but I have a tendency to find myself in toxic relationships.

Even as a child I grew up basically being ignored so I don’t think I’d ever learned or believed that I am good enough to be loved. I never learned to trust love.

Honestly I don’t think I’m good relationship material and I probably have no business even being in one.

The only love I think I’ll probably ever trust is the love of my babies. They are the force that pushes me to face each day. I want to be a better person because of them. To me there is no love even close to that. But that’s just me. Lol

 

[Misery]

I'm with the OP on this one. I dont get it. The idea of having to be with someone constantly is... repulsive. Just... ick.

I can understand, say, the idea of wanting to spend your days surrounded by puppies. Or even with a cat on your head (been there, done that... he could have at least climbed on WITHOUT the claws...).

But being that attached to an actual person? Bleh. Having friends is one thing, but even with them, I can only be around them for so long (and fortunately for me, they all understand this, and the nature of my condition, so there's no friction there). And some days I cant be social at all.

But romance? I'll never understand that one.

 

[hiraeth]

Haha, seeing the sort of bimodal responses is kind of interesting - it's either the best thing ever or the worst thing ever. They have something in common: they are both describing a state of intensity.

To feel everything, in super-magnified detail, both in sensory and perceptual capacity and in connection with the deepest foundational part of who we are in this particular lifetime, in the context of a specific relational experience,

I would answer the question this way.

It can be very intense and overwhelming, and scary / repulsive to be in such a state, but it doesn't have to be.

 

[Sid Delicious]

I would say the main difference is the situation. It is an intense state to be in either way, but it can the best or worst thing ever based on whether you are able to use that emotion/energy in a positive or negative way. I've only experienced the negative side, but I know couples that have been madly in love ever since they met and still are to this day. They've used that intensity to do incredible things that I very much doubt they could have achieved as individuals. They are essentially 24/7 cheerleaders and business partners for one another and have what most people would consider to be the stereotypical 'perfect' relationship and life as a result. So in their case, being in love was and is the best thing ever due to their situation (both of them being in love with the right person at the right time).

I view it in a similar way to adrenalin. If you're about to take on a seemingly impossible task (running up a mountain, bungee jumping off a crane, going to battle in a war zone, etc), then you want and need a certain amount of adrenalin to motivate you and keep you going. However, if you have excessive amounts of adrenalin while sat behind a computer in an office all day then it will have a damaging effect over time. It's impact is dependant on the situation.

 

[Fino]

I completely understand the people who say it sounds awful. I also hate the idea of spending a lot time around the same person or a lot of time with people at all. There were just two freak exceptions. As for the rest of the population, I'm right there with you.

 

[SusanLR]

Maybe I wasn't so dumb afterall.
I've felt all the good sensations of falling in love,
but, never did I want to live with the two I felt that way for.

 

[onlything]

It's one of the things you never realise you may want until you experience and loose it. Lack of it sure makes for some aching and lonely days.

 

[Bronzelincolns]

it's a strong feeling of infatuation.

like any other drug, withdrawals can be tough.

 

[interim]

Why would someone choose to be with another person day after day after day? Self-inflicted torture?

It's a hormonal process that makes you feel emotionally high, that you want to be with that person day after day after day. Not that you really want to... Read about oxytocin and vasopressin. And this is the problem - it becomes a torture. Being in love is like being drugged, and you really are - by nature, in order to fulfill your "mission" - make copies of yourself, like any other living being. I know, most people will disagree with me, but I'm with the science here. And I see every day the suffering that this process causes, since being in love is often not shared, or even when it's really shared (I think quite rare event, because one always loves more then the other), it still causes suffering, since it's often the "wrong person". Nature programs you to seek people that match your genetic program, like age appropriate, pretty, healthy, charming, resourceful, etc. It's nothing about their character, moral or long-term compatibility. I've loved, but it's quite different then being in love. Love is a choice, being in love is a situation you are drugged into... It's important to understand the difference, since you can still find people/animals/things to love, not necessary expecting to "fall in love" like most.

 

[Sophia D]

It's really powerful and empowering, especially when you've never experienced it before. It's also good to be careful that it doesn't swallow you up in the process.

 

[Omnik]

For me it is a feeling when you can not spend a minute without her. When you miss her even if she is in the next room. I am a lucky man who met a sole mate and we getting married this summer. I am very nervous. I want it to be a perfect wedding because she is perfect. I am helped by my mum and her friends to organize the wedding. And found a great guide how to plan it here All you should know about the wedding at Wedding Forward. I wish it will be the best wedding ever..

 

[Oldlady]

I have been in love once in my life. I have loved a handful of people. To me, these are very different feelings.

The feeling of being in love I would liken to an intoxicated state that I believe is caused by high doses of the hormone oxytocin (same one you are flooded with after giving birth). When in this state you are almost unable to see anything but positive qualities in the object of your desire. This condition is temporary, of course, and you either end up falling out of love or learning to love the other person.

I say learn to love because it takes committed determination for one adult to love another new and strange adult.