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What do you look for in your "ideal" mate?

I recently got a Tinder account, and it's a fascinating social experiment. I've yet to get any matches (no big deal), but it's interesting, the notion of swiping left or right based on their photos and (if you're not completely shallow) maybe looking at some shared interests. In a way, it's more akin to seeking someone out in a bar than it is browsing profiles on your typical dating site.

All this to day...does your mate really have to be "ideal"? Can you settle with "good enough," and find in them qualities that you like and go with that? The idea of perfection as far as dating or finding a long-term partner, I'm not sure I'm down with that.
 
Personally when looking for someone I have a sort list of "must haves" and a much longer list of "negotiable" attributes. If you're looking for the "perfect" mate, you'll never find him/her. Instead make a short list (as in an actual list; write it down!) of things you absolutely must have in a partner or relationship & a number of items you can be flexible on.

For me the must-haves are a non-smoker, has to be loving, not afraid of intimacy, must be open to the idea of marriage, be able to be self-supporting (job, car, etc), & accepting of what & who I am (that last should be obvious, but it isn't always). The items that are negotiable are alcohol consumption (I don't drink at all, but someone who drinks occasionally or moderately is negotiable), has some similar interests, falls within a wide range of "looks" (I'm attracted to a wide range of body types, though there are certain types I don't find appealing...). I'm sure there are a number of other items, but that gives you an idea of what I want & need.
 
"All this to day...does your mate really have to be "ideal"? Can you settle with "good enough," and find in them qualities that you like and go with that? The idea of perfection as far as dating or finding a long-term partner, I'm not sure I'm down with that."

It depends on how detailed your 'ideal' criteria is, but I'd say it's worse to settle with someone that you know has qualities that you find unappealing. Once the honeymoon period is over, those things can start to really bug you. I used to be a pessimist when I was younger and assumed that no human existed that matched what I was looking for. But I've met two men that did, so I know it is possible. I just need to find one that isn't already taken! Although I may get impatient and ask if I can clone them! :D
 
Sid Delicious said:
"All this to day...does your mate really have to be "ideal"? Can you settle with "good enough," and find in them qualities that you like and go with that? The idea of perfection as far as dating or finding a long-term partner, I'm not sure I'm down with that."

It depends on how detailed your 'ideal' criteria is, but I'd say it's worse to settle with someone that you know has qualities that you find unappealing. Once the honeymoon period is over, those things can start to really bug you. I used to be a pessimist when I was younger and assumed that no human existed that matched what I was looking for. But I've met two men that did, so I know it is possible. I just need to find one that isn't already taken! Although I may get impatient and ask if I can clone them! :D
Click to expand...

I'll get my T shirt
 
Female
Various physical qualities within a standard variation (someone I find attractive)
Strong in areas where I am weak (sociable extrovert)
Intelligent
Economically competent
Similar or neutral philosophy and political ideology
Educated

My buying and selling things for fun annoys my wife, but not the money part. I am sure that other things annoy her as well. I am a lucky man.
 
I think the extrovert thing is a good quality for someone to have for me. My current GF is an ENSP so almost an opposite for me (ITNJ). I think her extroversion may be helpful for me in developing my social skills in ways my past relationships were unable to do...
 
Good sense of humour, ability to put up with almost anything including regular meltdowns from me. Looks wise she'd need to be well, a cross between Marge Simpson and Neighbours actress Rebekah Elmaloglou, early to mid 40's, nice arse, big boobs, and gorgeous (blue hair not essential)
 
someone who isn't abusive or a control freak, none of the dark triad traits like narcissism, psychopathy or Machiavellian, just someone who is easygoing, lives life to the full and likes me for who i am because life is too short to be walking on eggshells for someone like that especially as i consider myself to be quite independent and have my own interests (especially taekwondo) but not a doormat, just someone who happens to be as independent minded as i am, intelligent and probably an INTJ (ehehe, i'm an ENFP) oh, and also a gaming enthusiast
 
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DCA said:
I think the extrovert thing is a good quality for someone to have for me. My current GF is an ENSP so almost an opposite for me (ITNJ). I think her extroversion may be helpful for me in developing my social skills in ways my past relationships were unable to do...
Click to expand...

you mean ENFP. i'm ENFP and yeah i guess one type they are compatible with is INTJ
 
I've not thought about it much, though I do know I don't want someone who's slept with a ton of people or someone who has children already.
Asking for things like kindness or shared anything is a lot these days, so I'll just stick to the first two.
The girl I fell for isn't really kind in the least, well not to me.
 
I suppose my only requirement would be I feel comfortable around her and time with her is fun/interesting :p
 
a female aspie,who shares traits similar to those of a male aspie,who plays games casually,and watches wrestling religiously,even if she is the only one in her family that watches it.
 
1. Has to be able to make me laugh
2. Memes
3. Compassionate 100%
4. Has to have lots of feelings for me.

Rather a nice happy genuine person.
 
Deleted my original post, thought i would write it better.

1. Kind hearted
2. animal lover
3. fun person to be around with
4. labour supporter or left minded
 
I don't actively look for anybody but I guess somebody that values trust and loyalty. I think Teddy Pendergrass explains it pretty well "when somebody loves you back", it's a 50-50 kind of thing.
 
Here's a list of various things I find attractive. To a good lover must have at least a few of these traits, those I'm not partially choosy.
If either gender:
-Likes video games and anime
-Likes cute things(Kitties and bunnies especially)
-understanding and compassionate
-enjoys literature
-Good cook
-open-minded
-Likes the idea of eventually getting married and starting a family
-a poet who eventually writes a poem about their feelings for me
If female:
-Big breasts
-feminine appearance
If male:
-extremely charming
-likes to make puns
-either has a muscular body or a slender and slim one
-has a beard
 
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