What do I do?

[TheFoz]

I live in a rooming house with a bunch of other dudes.

We have a coin op laundry.

I am the only one who has dealt with the guy who services our laundry machines since the day I moved in 2 and a half years ago.

I report any difficulties we are having with the machines to this guy and he either services to correct them or he compensates from the change he pulls out.

Recently the dryer has taken people's money without running.

When the service guy dumps out change, he usually gives back more than the house has lost.

One of my roommates (call him Jimmy) has given me the cost of a load of laundry, twice, both over 3 months ago.

There is no official track record or receipt book for this and it wasn't ever imparted to me that he felt it was a loan.

Jimmy and I frequently mingle costs for a variety of things especially food, toilet paper, coffee and cigarettes, while I feel the divisions have been even he frequently imparts that he feels like he supports me. I think I usually have an accurate memory about the exchange of costs and that on some things I'm ahead and on others he is ahead. The cost calculations get funny on certain things, especially cigarettes since he buys expensive packs when he can, and I buy roll-your-own kits.

The laundry guy came by today and dumped out a bucket of change in the way he usually has done in the past.

I immediately went round the house to everyone I remembered being ripped off and offered to compensate their losses out of the change I was given.

Other housemate said he lost X loads and I counted out the change.

Jimmy started asking me how much I was given and then pointed out his past 'support.'

How do I handle this?

Should I evenly distribute the compensation? Do I give back based on losses, or is there some other algorithm for dividing this small pile of quarters that will make everyone happy?

How to deal with money and friends or relationships has long been a struggle between myself and peers, friends, in my marriage (failed), and with my parents. There seems to be a lot of feeling behind it and lots of anger and resentment.

I could really use your help on this.

Thank you.

 

[Arashi222]

Those kinds of situations can be hard on anybody. I would try to keep as much from him seperate as possible at this point as it seems he is trying to take advantage of you. I would just divide the money up equally regardless of loads lost. That way it is always fair and no one is getting more than anyone else. Money and friendships are hard to mingle. I find its always best not to borrow if you can. It makes for less hassle later when someone thinks they are being taken advantage of. Hugs I hope this helps.

 

[TheFoz]

I t seems to me that the even division is unfair, I think there's dudes here who never use the laundry, and there may be others who for some reason like a poorly timed quarter technique may have been repeatedly victimized by the machine.

I think you are right about separating financially, I've tried it before but then he does something like ordering pizza without asking me if I want to contribute, and then he offers me a slice.

I don't want to be rude by refusing, but I also don't want to feel obligated to order a pizza and return the favor.

Same goes on the cigs, dish soap, etc.

 

[Dragon's Tooth]

its best to pay your own way or people will think you owe them one. You probably don't. So maybe if he offers you pizza or something in future ... give him a couple dollars for it or refuse it.

In this case I would say to your friend "I wasn't aware you were making a loan. I'm trying to give people back the money they have lost so I'm not favoring anyone. In future I would appreciate it if you tell me you are making a loan to me and expect repayment."

And stop taking things from him. Its sad that this happens but this is what money does to friendships. I never loan anything (money or what ever) unless I don't expect it to come back. So never give out what you can't afford to loose. Does that mean in future you couldn't offer him a slice? Not at all. But maybe in future think twice before taking a slice of pizza.