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What are feminist opionions of male victims of abuse who are suicidal and depressed?

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by AspieOtaku, Aug 24, 2019.

  1. AspieOtaku

    AspieOtaku Leader of the otaku legion!

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    Hi, im a male survivor of domestic violence and was raped by my ex, i have depression and still fight it to this day and have attempted suicide many times and nearly succeeded but was committed, my ex laughed at me as i slit my wrists. Emasculated i have been when my ex took advantage of me, i said no and she forced me to have sex with her if i did not she would threaten to tell the neighbors i hit her so had no choice, she hit me but i never hit back, caved in and self harmed instead. I still get bad flashbacks to this day. I feel its my fault, im a pushover she always told me but im a man, i need to man up but dont have the confidence anymore but trying to get it back.In the end im a male should suck it up i suppose.I tried bouncing back at times and get in another relationship and realize what my therapist said a while back im a people pleaser, not good at saying no and am a codependant and can be easy prey to another abusive woman.I suppose i dont matter since im a male and although im speaking of tramatic experience it would be catagorized as mansplaning followed by what about the menz. Depression and male suicide let alone men being abused is not their problem.
     
    Last edited: Aug 24, 2019
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  2. Fino

    Fino Alex V.I.P Member

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    You're confused about feminism. I don't know where you got those ideas from. Feminism is about equality, and that's it. You're either a feminist or you believe men and women are not equal. This is the same as saying you either believe men and women are equal or you don't believe they're equal. Because feminism literally just means equality.
     
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  3. Aspychata

    Aspychata But this is my happy face.....

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    Sorry to hear of all your pain and suffering. It doesn't matter if we are male or female when we are raped whether mentally, physically, spiritually, or all of the above. We share a commonality of being survivors, and we need to tell our stories to help other people on this path and to begin loving ourselves again.
     
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  4. AspieOtaku

    AspieOtaku Leader of the otaku legion!

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    i believe in equality and balance as well as justice im a Libra but thats a different subject, not sure if im a feminist but believe in equality but at times there is an imbalance in the feminism community at least the radical side that demonizes men and even bullies male victims. I consider myself an egalitarian humanist at least.I guess i might be a feminist but dont know im one? Im a male though hetero and cis but i suppose ally with the sex possitive side? I am pro choice.
     
    Last edited: Aug 25, 2019
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  5. AspieOtaku

    AspieOtaku Leader of the otaku legion!

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    its a hard road of recovery for sure. It isnt easy was a binge drinker borderlined alcoholic afterwards trying to numb the pain and forget, it worked for a while till i had a dui then i relapsed into depression and suicidal attempts, i stayed off booze for a while and took benzos cut them off and relapses got real bad, substituted to cbd strains of marijuana to get off the benzodiazepines and over time took l tryptophan and Sam E.
     
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  6. AspieOtaku

    AspieOtaku Leader of the otaku legion!

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    Im confused indeed duck duck.
     
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  7. AspieOtaku

    AspieOtaku Leader of the otaku legion!

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    Its a long journey, blamed myself for so long and hated myself as well as self harmed but getting better learning to forgive and love myself.
     
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  8. AspieOtaku

    AspieOtaku Leader of the otaku legion!

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    Did some wreckless things prior to dui like street racing and driving on country roads going over 130 mph for thrills yet not caring if i died or got hurt only cared if someone else got hurt. Besides the 5150 i was put in the Dui i was arrested for was possibly a cry for help waiting to happen not just a punishment, put my life on the edge because there was nothing to lose, my life did not matter and wanted to go out with a bang having fun every time, i did not care if i got hurt or died as long as nobody else did, but got arrested by the law and punished but at the same time im alive i guess. I know this is not feminism related just my life story, back to feminism, what do feminists think of abused men who commit suicide? Do you say good riddence? Blame the patriarchy?Or do you equally address the issue it is a problem and realize males too can be victims of abuse and rape? Realize suicide in males is just as bad as suicide in women? Realize not all men represent the patriarchy but victims of it as well due to toxic masculinity like telling male abuse victins to man up?
     
    Last edited: Aug 25, 2019
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  9. Aspychata

    Aspychata But this is my happy face.....

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    I was able to confront one of many abusers in my lifetime, and it brought on more judgement against me, and l was told that l was crazy. l have gone through so much in my life that l accept it as part of me. l actually embrace all of me, because you can't heal until you accept yourself with the trauma you have gone through. You need to release that energy to move on. That injured part makes up you now. The more power you give to your past, the more you stay in the past. The more you chose to live now, you release the past. Maybe it's okay to release it and move on. You can help by supporting organizations that help men with trauma such as yourself. By pulling yourself out, you have a chance to help someone else.
     
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  10. AspieOtaku

    AspieOtaku Leader of the otaku legion!

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    Its hard, i have trouble letting go im trying but my past keeps haunting me and i try to fight it, im stuck in that cycle.
    Im now afraid of my abuser and live hundreds of miles away from her, shes in jail due to other things like identity theft and domestic abuse to another guy she was with. I was curious and found out on instant checkmate.im crying, i should not cry im a man and am expected not to but the pain my ex gave me it hurts, the past keeps coming back with flash backs and dont know how to stop em.
     
    Last edited: Aug 25, 2019
  11. Fino

    Fino Alex V.I.P Member

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    Did your ex identify as a feminist?
     
  12. AspieOtaku

    AspieOtaku Leader of the otaku legion!

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    Not sure, she blamed everything on me because im a man so i guess so.
    --
    As a result of my past i used to be bitter trolling feminists and going strait for radical feminists as well as trolling religious folks but that got me banned from forums for expressing my frustration now my troll days are over and running to feminists for help the irony, not sure if they care or have sympathy but what else is there?I am sorry very sorry, vulnarable, i can see other guys saying a man asking feminists for help? Get real, but its my last resort and have nowhere else to go.
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    I get rebellious and wreckless due to frustration, got in trouble now truly sorry, no jokes im serious i wish to make uo the damages done and forgive myself feminists, im a male though but asking for help im truly sorry and sincere.
     
  13. SusanLR

    SusanLR Well-Known Member

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    When it comes to abuse it doesn't matter whether you are male or female.
    Abuse is an equal opportunity destroyer.

    I don't know where those ideas that a man should man up, not cry, or feel emotions started.
    Must have started somewhere long ago like midevil days when men were expected to
    be strong and unemotional. Don't really know.
    I know there is the old quote that women are the weaker sex.
    That's the equality identity that feminists ideal are based on.
    Not everyone can be physically strong, emotionally hard and tough.
    That holds true for both men and women.

    Why does there have to be such a big difference in how people see male and female?
     
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  14. Graphin

    Graphin Apple curler V.I.P Member

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    there are people who call themselves feminists who say otherwise.
     
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  15. Suzanne

    Suzanne Well-Known Member

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    SJW as they like to call themselves, will laugh at you, because only women are victims to their way of thinking.

    Today, the word: feminine has been so mixed up that the true definition has got lost. It is all about being treated farely, forsaking the sex of a person and that is its basic understanding.

    I know a guy who was sexual abused by his father and he goes through mental torture because of it and has slept with as many women as he can, to throw off that taint.

    Domestic abuse happens to both sexes and I tell you, my heart hurts for what you have been put through.

    It IS degrading to have your musclinity challenged, just as it would be degrading for a woman to have her feminity degraded.

    I so hope she gets to regret what she did to you and continues to do, because of the ptsd that she has caused.
     
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  16. AspieOtaku

    AspieOtaku Leader of the otaku legion!

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    I dont think she cares, she got into cocaine and meth and is trouble with the law, identity theft, domestic abuse to another partner, shes in jail atm since i last checked instant checkmate.
     
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  17. Streetwise

    Streetwise very cautious contributor

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    Do you go to AA meetings I know they are not autistic but it still a way of stopping some of it :)
     
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  18. Suzanne

    Suzanne Well-Known Member

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    Ahhh, wow two very strong and abusive habits, so to be honest, NO WONDER SHE WAS ABUSIVE TO YOU.

    I have ptsd from the injustice I suffered, after I revealed the truth about past sexual molestation etc, so I really get where you are coming from.
     
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  19. AspieOtaku

    AspieOtaku Leader of the otaku legion!

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    No not required to, but cut back drinking alot and only with friends at times but no driving, i made my own rule if i want to drive i dont drink if i want to drink at a bar with my friends i dont drive. Never both ever again. Been over a month after being off my medications and feeling better so theres improvement, never liked the side effects of Ativan or Valium the psych ward gave me. The initial cold turky after 3 weeks was risky my relapses in depression and suicidal thoights got real bad. I admit i have a mental illness, i have depression and possible ptsd.
     
  20. Streetwise

    Streetwise very cautious contributor

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    I know some people go voluntarily I’m the same as you I have depression and possible PTSD maybe ADHD :)
     
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