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ftfipps

Well-Known Member
Every time I go into the city I have people who I didn't even make eye contact with start talking crap. I think It's because It was a weekday and I wasn't dressed in business casual...idk that's all I can figure. There was no reason, I didn't even look at them. Anybody have a similar experience? I didn't have twinkie smeared all over my face, I wasn't doing anything at all to provoke these random utterances. This happened several times so it's not the person. Don't give me the "I've never seen people act like that" bit. I wasn't stoned I was stone cold straight.

Well, needless to say, I don't like people that much anymore. You wouldn't either. I used to be a hippy and was all like, love everybody but not anymore. I find myself filled with hatred. The people who were my friends and family are just like everybody else. I feel like they only have me around because of pity and I hate that! They feel better about themselves because, in their withered brains, they are better than somebody. I am so angry now It is getting unhealthy.

Can somebody please tell me they have had a similar experience and how they dealt with it. PLEASE?!?
 
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I was just wondering this the other day! I am not kidding.

I noticed that when other people walk and don't go around saying HELLO, etc. , they are left alone.

If I try that? HA! No chance.

"Yo!"
"Hey, try smiling!"
"Hello to you, too!"
"You'd look nicer if you smiled..."

You are right!! Why is that???
 
I've had one drunk guy calling me a "Bugger" as I was waiting for the bus home one time but he left me alone for the most part. Also had a few people in the past ask me if I had a light (lighter) or a cigarette to lend, ironically I don't smoke. Other than that no one else really interacts with me.

And that's just modern society for you. You will encounter those who are the most pleasant people and others who're just buttheads 24/7 because it's all generally they've ever known
 
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I've been mugged twice!

When I was a kid, playing in a field across from where I live, a kid either around my age or slightly older, and a stranger, took my shoes and tied them very tightly to a fence. I had to get my dad to untie them. I have always been more confused by that than the years of school bullying because people at school got to know me a bit first, decided I was weird, then were mean. I guess this kid just decided really fast.

Is your goal to be able to go into the city and not have this happen? I dealt with it buy not going anywhere alone, except for driving to the same couple stores.

Or do you mean "deal with it" as in your hatred for humanity?
 
Yes, that really bugs me, when strangers insist on talking to me for no apparent reason. I've tried wearing big, obvious headphones to get the message across to leave me alone, but it doesn't work. Some people just love to interfere in other people's business. Or worse, the tap, prod, poke me. NTs are supposed to be good at reading body language, but sometimes I think that is a myth, because if they could, they would surely know that I want to be left alone.
 
Fino said:
I've been mugged twice!

When I was a kid, playing in a field across from where I live, a kid either around my age or slightly older, and a stranger, took my shoes and tied them very tightly to a fence. I had to get my dad to untie them. I have always been more confused by that than the years of school bullying because people at school got to know me a bit first, decided I was weird, then were mean. I guess this kid just decided really fast.

Is your goal to be able to go into the city and not have this happen? I dealt with it buy not going anywhere alone, except for driving to the same couple stores.

Or do you mean "deal with it" as in your hatred for humanity?
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being mugged sounds terrible ,I've been bullied at school but not mugged ,I've had people say 'cheer up ' it's really annoying I could punch them .
 
Fino said:
I've been mugged twice!

When I was a kid, playing in a field across from where I live, a kid either around my age or slightly older, and a stranger, took my shoes and tied them very tightly to a fence. I had to get my dad to untie them. I have always been more confused by that than the years of school bullying because people at school got to know me a bit first, decided I was weird, then were mean. I guess this kid just decided really fast.

Is your goal to be able to go into the city and not have this happen? I dealt with it buy not going anywhere alone, except for driving to the same couple stores.

Or do you mean "deal with it" as in your hatred for humanity?
Click to expand...

Yes! About the going places in a group and not getting harassed part. When I was lucky enough to get a large group of friends, basically overnight due to my work acquaintance introducing me to her friends and I would show up to a bar with 15 people in tow, people treated me like a god. I had the opposite experience that you did growing up. People never thought I was weird and I (by amazing luck) had friends and love interests and escaped bullying for the most part. I had to fight on a few occasions but those went pretty well, too, luckily. My torment began within the past 7 years! Now people I work with when I do get a job have a field day with me. I don't even bother getting a job.

I like driving around the city in my own car and going places that I wanna go. Riding the bus with hfa is a nightmare.
 
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Progster said:
Yes, that really bugs me, when strangers insist on talking to me for no apparent reason. I've tried wearing big, obvious headphones to get the message across to leave me alone, but it doesn't work. Some people just love to interfere in other people's business. Or worse, the tap, prod, poke me. NTs are supposed to be good at reading body language, but sometimes I think that is a myth, because if they could, they would surely know that I want to be left alone.
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My god I can't stand when people try and talk to me when I'm waiting in line or I'm high and I'm tripped out by the entire situation and literally just want to get back to my house. I just wave them off, yes, yes, I know. They cannot read body language at all.
 
My husband tells me I attract strange people which is partially true.. The other part I think is just being a woman. I don't engage and if I need to I tell them no or ask them to leave. I don't trust 'people' either. However, there are exceptions. I'm married to one.
 
I know I keep harking on the "cultural conditioning" aspect of people in the world today and it is probably getting annoying. If so I apologize but I just see the world this way. Think about the typical boring NT. They get up in the morning and eat their unhealthy breakfast while reading the boring newspaper, go to their boring jobs, talk with their boring co-workers, and go home to watch some boring sitcom on the TV. Most of what is available on TV sitcoms are actors portraying boring people trying to find some meaning in their boring life by "insulting and cutting down one another", all the while thinking it is funny. So, the typical boring NT is just relating to their own world.
 
I live in a very small town where we recently got cellphone service. The tonsfolk have become so addicted to thumbying that they just wonder around staring at those little boxes without even noticing people and traffic. With all the new electronic communication devices popping up, people are getting very lonely for people to talk to. In the cities, most are just monkeys performing rituals.

 
ftfipps said:
Every time I go into the city I have people who I didn't even make eye contact with start talking crap. I think It's because It was a weekday and I wasn't dressed in business casual...idk that's all I can figure. There was no reason, I didn't even look at them. Anybody have a similar experience? I didn't have twinkie smeared all over my face, I wasn't doing anything at all to provoke these random utterances. This happened several times so it's not the person. Don't give me the "I've never seen people act like that" bit. I wasn't stoned I was stone cold straight.

Well, needless to say, I don't like people that much anymore. You wouldn't either. I used to be a hippy and was all like, love everybody but not anymore. I find myself filled with hatred. The people who were my friends and family are just like everybody else. I feel like they only have me around because of pity and I hate that! They feel better about themselves because, in their withered brains, they are better than somebody. I am so angry now It is getting unhealthy.

Can somebody please tell me they have had a similar experience and how they dealt with it. PLEASE?!?
Click to expand...
There's a tendency for those of us on the spectrum to have more of a frown than a smile on our resting face. I know I do so I make an attempt in public to half smile -w here maybe it doesn't look like I'm doing either. Just a thought.
And people today are filled with more hatred toward one another just in general. I do miss those real 'make love not war' days of the 60's and 70's.
 
I don't get many of these oddballs talking to me. It helps to be over 6 feet tall and have a grumpy default face. When they do talk to me, they seem like the type that will talk to anyone and I just happen to be the closest victim at the moment. Usually I ignore the first one or two things they say, or deliberately only give only monosyllabic grunts in reply.

Often when I am considering talking to someone else because something seems a little off, my wife will tell me "Don't pet the stray." - our code for "Don't start a conversation with someone who looks like they're never going to let it end."

Just two days ago, my cousin and I were having lunch in a park and a guy asked the time. We told him. Then he proceeded to babble about technology today and beef having the wrong hormones because cattle were being raised by angry farmers. I turned my back to him like I wanted to go back to talking to my cousin and the guy trailed off and then left.

There have only been a few occasions where someone stuck their nose into my business, like judging or commenting on what I'm buying, etc. A long time ago I decided to respond by giving them a confused look and saying, "Who are you?" ...but no one has done it to me for about two years. So, A) I can't tell you if "Who are you?" will end an unwanted conversation but B) I haven't had to end any unwanted conversations, which is nice.
 
Wow, nobody said anything like "you're a bad boy for saying that" or "you have a skewed view of the world" like I was expecting. You guys are amazing! You guys are family to me, thank you so much!
 
ftfipps said:
Wow, nobody said anything like "you're a bad boy for saying that" or "you have a skewed view of the world" like I was expecting. You guys are amazing! You guys are family to me, thank you so much!
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The biggest thing I've done all day is order a pizza ,I haven't got the energy to say 'you're a bad boy for saying that 'I've been experiencing a panic attack for two days ,my ultimate goal today is to lie still.
 
I think telling someone their viewpoint/worldview/opinion/perspective is wrong is, without exaggeration, one of the worst forms of abuse. It can't get any more ego-centric and arrogant than that.

Now, when someone does that to me, I immediately tell them it's abusive. They find that surprising, but I really think it's sick behavior.
 
What happens to me sometimes is this: somedays I am feeling really down and people say I look good...and other times I feel great or I am meditating, and people ask how I am because I don't look good to them. I don't get it...one time, my boss at work asked if I was crying and I was actually having a very normal day...o_O
 
Fortunately, I don't live in an area where I have to walk down crowded streets and/or ride public transit to get around. Still, if someone tries to scream at me because they think I did something bad, I just ignore them. I was in the parking lot of a grocery store and pushed my cart into the gap between the fronts of two vehicles-in the parking lots in the USA cars park in rectangular spaces with the fronts of the cars facing each other, and there are usually gaps in between the facing cars, and people leave their carts there-and some woman grabs the cart I left and starts screaming at me, something about not walking to the designated cart collection area to leave my cart, keep in mind that a lot of other people leave their carts in the gaps too. I just ignored her and looked down, and after a few minutes she wandered off, and as I drove off she yelled "two feet, two feet!". A lot of people are just filled with a free floating hate that gets tossed out at random because they hate their lives, well I hate mine too but don't take it out on random people. I don't seem to get the "cheer up, life isn't that bad!" types that some of you are talking about.
 
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