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Unsure if she is still attracted to me... or just being nice.

ProfessorOptics

Active Member
I'm attracted to this girl I've known for about a month now. Right now, however, I can't help feel if she is still attracted to me or not. When we're together, she calls me over, talks to me, touches me, watches me and what not. She even eyes other girls I'm talking to (my friends gf for example). Signs I am interpreting as her being attracted to me.

Part of me wants to know if that attraction has been lost, or if it's still there. But I don't know if it's weak to ask for confirmation. I'm worried if I ask her, it'll chase her away. I'm also worried if I don't ask, that I may continue to misinterpret her "signals".

What can I do? What should I do?
 

OkRad

μῆνιν ἄειδε θεὰ Πηληϊάδεω Ἀχιλῆος οὐλομένην
V.I.P Member
I'm attracted to this girl I've known for about a month now. Right now, however, I can't help feel if she is still attracted to me or not. When we're together, she calls me over, talks to me, touches me, watches me and what not. She even eyes other girls I'm talking to (my friends gf for example). Signs I am interpreting as her being attracted to me.

Part of me wants to know if that attraction has been lost, or if it's still there. But I don't know if it's weak to ask for confirmation. I'm worried if I ask her, it'll chase her away. I'm also worried if I don't ask, that I may continue to misinterpret her "signals".

What can I do? What should I do?
Ask. For sure. Just say you really like her and want to know if she feels the same, still. Relationships shift around a lot. Is she Aspie ? Just always communicate what is going on......
 

ProfessorOptics

Active Member
Ask. For sure. Just say you really like her and want to know if she feels the same, still. Relationships shift around a lot. Is she Aspie ? Just always communicate what is going on......
Not as far as I know. how do I ask though? text, call, in person? What do I say?
 

SunnyDay16

Well-Known Member
From what you've written here, it seems like she definitely is attracted to you. Girls generally don't touch or eye guys they aren't into, unless they're the touchy feely type. It's good to ask her though, just to be sure. You could say, "I think I might be into you, but I don't want to pursue anything serious unless I know you're into me too. Are you?"

Your best bet is to ask her this in person, but I can understand if you're too nervous to do that.
 

ProfessorOptics

Active Member
From what you've written here, it seems like she definitely is attracted to you. Girls generally don't touch or eye guys they aren't into, unless they're the touchy feely type. It's good to ask her though, just to be sure. You could say, "I think I might be into you, but I don't want to pursue anything serious unless I know you're into me too. Are you?"

Your best bet is to ask her this in person, but I can understand if you're too nervous to do that.

I don't mind asking her in person, though she is busy with exams, I'll be calling her later tonight, hopefully. She doesnt text me so much, so texting game is leaving me uncertain. Thinking of sending her a text asking if the attraction between us has died.
 
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BraidedPony

Enjoying life and glad to be alive!
V.I.P Member
If this is your best friend’s girl friend then it would be better not to ask her at all. Not sure why I say this...it just feels wrong.
And by what you describe she still likes you very much.
 

OkRad

μῆνιν ἄειδε θεὰ Πηληϊάδεω Ἀχιλῆος οὐλομένην
V.I.P Member
Does she know you are Aspie?
 

ProfessorOptics

Active Member
If this is your best friend’s girl friend then it would be better not to ask her at all. Not sure why I say this...it just feels wrong.
And by what you describe she still likes you very much.

He broke up with her lol she told me herself. I should also mention, he isn't my best friend, he's my brothers best friend.

Why do I still have my doubts though?
 

Mia

Well-Known Member
V.I.P Member
What can I do? What should I do?

I wouldn't be too intense if I were you. It might scare her off. Keep it relaxed, not too personal. She might not have the time or mindset to deal with this now, with exams happening that she needs to focus on. And the current break-up.

If I were you, I would suggest something such as "Do you want to get together to talk, after your exams? Maybe coffee, or a walk to decompress? Are you interested in a movie in the next few days? Are you interested in doing something together, what would you like to do? Her answer will tell you if she's interested.

Afterword: Do this carefully as she is likely at some tipping point. She may want to get together to talk to you about her ex. Listen, but in some indirect way indicate your interest in her.
 
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OkRad

μῆνιν ἄειδε θεὰ Πηληϊάδεω Ἀχιλῆος οὐλομένην
V.I.P Member
I would certainly ask her if she is Aspie. If the she is, all the rules are different. You will be on the same page. It will be so much easier to understand her peculiarities if she is! If she is not, then it gets complicated.

You are already very confused about her behaviour. Dating NTs was always a nightmare for me. I could NEVER understand anything they did and they could NEVER understand anything I did. If I ever needed time alone, I was "cheating". It was not possible I really, really wanted to go off alone and read Homer for a weekend. And I trust them they WERE going off and "sleeping in the woods..." Oh, was I the idiot. Guess who was cheating, and it wasn't me!

So, yeah, ask her. If she is all the rules change. If she is not, well, I really can't help because my record with NTs is 100% Deer In Headlight.
 

the_tortoise

Well-Known Member
V.I.P Member
Thinking of sending her a text asking if the attraction between us has died.

I wouldn't do that, because it assumes an attraction existed in the first place....if she was never attracted to you beyond friendship, it could make her uncomfortable in a way that asking her if she is attracted to you would not.
 

ProfessorOptics

Active Member
I wouldn't do that, because it assumes an attraction existed in the first place....if she was never attracted to you beyond friendship, it could make her uncomfortable in a way that asking her if she is attracted to you would not.

Well she visited me yesterday, had to talk about some stuff with her because people were calling her things behind her back, and even to her face. She blocked me the night before because she thought I believed what those people were saying, and I wanted to tell her straight never to assume that I believe what others say. Not to place me on the same step as everyone else.

After that, I asked her if the attraction died... and well... she got up and kissed me. For the duration of the stay, we kissed three times. First was her idea, the other two were my idea. After the first kiss, she said: "Nope, it hasn't died." Haven't spoken to her much today, and I'm unsure if I should wait a day or two before reaching out to her, see if she'll reach out to me and initiate contact.
 

SunnyDay16

Well-Known Member
Well she visited me yesterday, had to talk about some stuff with her because people were calling her things behind her back, and even to her face. She blocked me the night before because she thought I believed what those people were saying, and I wanted to tell her straight never to assume that I believe what others say. Not to place me on the same step as everyone else.

After that, I asked her if the attraction died... and well... she got up and kissed me. For the duration of the stay, we kissed three times. First was her idea, the other two were my idea. After the first kiss, she said: "Nope, it hasn't died." Haven't spoken to her much today, and I'm unsure if I should wait a day or two before reaching out to her, see if she'll reach out to me and initiate contact.

Congrats!
 

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