sharlinski
New Member
Hi everybody. My name is Sherri, and my 16yo daughter was diagnosed with autism last summer. The more we learn about autism and the ways it can manifest in women, the more my kids are certain I am on the spectrum as well. I'm 49 years old, and have had a lot of issues that I have overcome, such as OCD (which I have to spot-check regularly), and I have always said I feel like everyone else has a social rule book that I don't have. When I was a kid I did a lot of things that I now know is stimming, but at the time just made me seem and feel weird. This was in the 70s and 80s. I've had plenty of time to beat those things out of myself, and as many autistic people do, I have learned to mask to the level that I think people would be shocked to know some of the things I do while at home alone. Such as plucking my leg hairs for hours, or playing a game on my phone WAY past the time when I want to stop, because I'm unable to change tasks.
One thing I've learned through my search so far is that a lot of struggles I thought were typical of the general population really are not. And this is why I would get reactions I didn't understand. So some red flags for autism that I don't think I have, such as the inability to name and express my emotions--maybe I'm not that great at naming my emotions, and I just don't know how good other people are at it. Lots of self-doubt here.
But once I started looking and talking about it with my kids, I realize there is a LOT of behavior that I didn't know wasn't typical of the general population. And now I wonder how I've stunted my NT kids' development by not teaching them how to live in a NT world.
Anyway, I don't know if I have the stamina to try to get a diagnosis, knowing that there's not much they can do for me as a self-sufficient, if struggling, adult.
One thing I've learned through my search so far is that a lot of struggles I thought were typical of the general population really are not. And this is why I would get reactions I didn't understand. So some red flags for autism that I don't think I have, such as the inability to name and express my emotions--maybe I'm not that great at naming my emotions, and I just don't know how good other people are at it. Lots of self-doubt here.
But once I started looking and talking about it with my kids, I realize there is a LOT of behavior that I didn't know wasn't typical of the general population. And now I wonder how I've stunted my NT kids' development by not teaching them how to live in a NT world.
Anyway, I don't know if I have the stamina to try to get a diagnosis, knowing that there's not much they can do for me as a self-sufficient, if struggling, adult.